Poems

"Tone"

Ah, but wait, a point of contention,

For a name for this boy, is a matter of retention.

Three nicknames have been discussed this entire week,

Magellan is good, but I think Beavis screams geek.

Now, knowing Mr. Miller as long as we have,

I think it's safe to say, he should have been a Nav.

Just Kidding, Just Kidding, no harm to the Captains meant,

No need for the former Navs to go and get bent.

Alas, I digress, the point here is Greg,

He knows his Stand-ups cold, his Boldface Shit-Hot, and the words to every reg.

Wrapped around the axle, wound up so damn tight,

This boy likes planes, but in his blood is the fight.

T-38's he wants, to this he won't deny,

T-1's, Helicopters, C-130's he surely would cry.

His Stand-ups & Boldface very poorly were done,

He keeps this up, he'll be lucky to get a T-1.

So cut to the chase, is now in everyone's head,

To nickname Mr. Miller, is why we are here, I've already said.

So, my recommendation for Lt. Miller, is "Tone",

Something he can remember, when he gets faiped, something all his very own.

So, why Tone you ask, what is the fun,

We'll, I'll tell you, Tone broken down with a hypen, spells out "T-ONE".

So for this name, I call a vote right now,

For you, Lt. Miller, if you become Tone, don't have a cow.

So, nicknames while funny, are not meant to be grand,

Everyone in favor of christening Miller to Tone, please raise your hand.

"S+13"

Out to the jet, for a mid-winters hop,

During the walk-around, the IP had to stop.

Thought to himself "I've seen many things, 3,000 sorties to show",

"But I've never seen a student grab the pitot tube by the shaft, put his mouth on it & Blow".

The IP shakes his head, the crew chief laughs out loud,

The unsuspecting students' head, way up in the clouds.

The check continues, the flight goes as planned,

Back at debriefing, an EP is given, no reason to stand.

Report to the RSU, tell them what the emergency is like,

The student calmly states "I'll come on the mic!".

Maintain Aircraft control, emergencies abound,

The student, correctly, decides to egress on the ground.

Run through the process, step by step,

No minor detail from the IP is kept.

"I'm gonna blow the canopy!", the student says with a sigh,

The IP says "That's gross, dude, don't do that, you're a guy".

The student takes a moment, his face starts to blush,

He understands the ere of his ways, so he decides to declutch.

He says "Sir, I've got it, I'll do better now",

"I'll declutch, not blow, and I'll tell you just how".

"I'll unzip the zipper, put my hand up inside",

"I'll reach around!", the IP yells "Don't even try!".

The IP at his end, can cover no more,

It appears to him, this student's a whore.

He gathers his thoughts, thinking "This EP has gone on long enough",

Explaining this students' play on words is going to be rough.

So the IP says "Listen here, S+13",

"I'm gonna tell you what you did, if you see what I mean".

"I'm gonna sum up your flight, your debrief, and EP",

"But I'll tell you honeslty, it sounds like you have serious issues to me".

"You sucked the tube, came on the mic, blew the canopy, and performed a reach-around, all with great cheer",

Lt. Hurt finally says "Man, if you tell me you like IP's that are blonde,I am getting the fuck outta here!".