This madness takes me over,
and suddenly my sun-filled world
is overcast with a dark, sullen grey.
Everything that is good disappears from sight
and, try as I might, I cannot summon it back.
The greyness drains me of all happiness, joy.
It drains me of my will to live
and fills me with a desire to die.
I fight against it as hard as I can,
recognizing the madness for what it is,
but it is all I can do to stay alive.
Invisible arrows shoot through me,
invisible hands rip my heart to shreds.
I cry out from the pain.
I try to disappear, I curl up-
the pain does not go away.
The beast cannot be beaten back,
if driven away, it comes back later, stronger.
Only I hold the power to send it away,
and I must let it run its course,
no matter how disasterous the consequences.
So I cry out in anguish, in pain.
I am vulnerable.
I fight for my life, and bide my time.
So far, it has not won, and the clouds are starting to part
to reveal the bright sun.