“Listen, babe, this ain’t cool,” I yelled sarcastically. “You wanna run around behind my back, but you get messed up about me hanging out with any guy friends!”
“Don’t talk to me like that, b---h!!!” Rob screamed in my face. “Don’t tell me how to deal with my relationships!” He pushed me roughly away from him.
“THIS IS AS MUCH MY RELATIONSHIP AS YOURS!!!!!!”
“Shut up, b---h! I told you not to talk to me that way!!” He reached out and slapped me across the face, knocking me down on my front porch with the blow. I now regretted confronting him about cheating on me when there wasn’t anyone else home.
“You can’t tell me how to talk to you!” I shouted, face flushed and eyes flashing. “I won’t take this! I’m not one of your girls, alright!!! IT’S OVER!!!!!!”
“Fine, b---h, if you want it that way!” he scoffed. “Who needs a fat, ugly whore like you anyhow??!!” He took off down the street, leaving me curled up alone in the corner of the porch.
I hugged my knees to my chest as tears began streaming down my face. I gazed up to the sky and, without even realizing it, began to pray. “Oh God,” I cried. “How did I get myself into this mess? I knew he wasn’t a Christian. I knew he had problems. Why, God, why did I do this?! The worst part is, I knew you didn’t want me to get involved with him. Lord, I’m so sorry. I feel so used... worthless... a million other horrible, indescribable feelings! I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry......” I kept repeating it over and over until, exhausted, I fell into a deep sleep.
* * * * * * * *
“Indi! Indi! Wake up!” a familiar voice urged, shaking me lightly. I opened my eyes and rolled over to look into the eyes of my twin brother, Austin (most commonly called Tex). The look on his face turned serious. “Indi girl, you look terrible!” he cried. “What happened?!” I sat up and wordlessly wrapped him in a hug. He squeezed me tightly and whispered, “It’s okay, Indi girl... everything’s gonna be alright.” He paused. “Do you wanna talk about it?”
I sniffled. “Oh, it’s Rob. I confronted him about cheating, he got ticked off and hit me, and I broke up with him.”
Tex pulled back and stared at me, his look turning hard. “He hit you?”
“Listen, Tex,” I began, “I don’t want you to get involved in this. It’s over, alright.” He didn’t say anything. “Tex, please? All you’ll do is get yourself hurt. That’s what always happens when you lose you temper. I don’t want you to get hurt!!!” I burst into tears.
“Okay, okay, please don’t cry Indi!” he pleaded. “If that’s what you want, I won’t get involved. Just promise me that if he keeps treatin’ you bad, you’ll tell someone. Someone who can do something about it.”
“Promise,” I agreed, trying to dry my tears. “Thanks Tex. I love you.”
“I love you too, Indi girl,” he returned with a smile, standing and helping me to my feet. “And if you ever need to talk about it...”
“You’re always there,” I finished for him. “Yeah bro... I know it.”
He wrapped his arm around my shoulders and led me in the house.
* * * * * * * *
“I can’t believe even he would be stupid enough to.... uuugh!” my best friend Jennifer whined. “What a..... eeeewwww!”
I let out a slight laugh. “You’re so eloquent, it’s simply amazing!” I teased. I had called her to relate the story as soon as I got up to my room. She had taken the news very.... well.... let’s just say she had taken it.
“Aren’t you, like, upset about this??” she questioned.
“Oh yeah,” I assured her. “I feel like crap. I look like crap. You can still see the tear streaks both from Rob and from trying to convince Tex it wasn’t his fight!”
“Man, I would love to have Tex for a brother!” she exclaimed. “I mean, not that I don’t like mine, but he’d bend over backwards for you!”
“Oh, and he has!” I told her. “You know it! What a sweetheart.”
“Of whom are we speaking?” Tex inquired cheerfully, striding into my room.
“You, my dear!” I squealed.
“Aww. I feel loved,” he said, blushing slightly.
“Everybody in their right mind loves you!!!!!!” I cried, feeling giddy. Talking to Jenn tended to have that affect on me, but this was insanity.
“So...” Jenn started. “The new pastor starts in three weeks. Pretty cool, huh?”
“Yeah!” I agreed. “He seemed like a cool dude. And... he has kids, too, doesn’t he?”
“Oh yes. Three teenagers!” she squealed. “Can you believe our luck?!”
“Groovy, baby!” I commented excitedly. “This means three new kids in the youth group. May second, yes! I cannot wait! Cannot wait! Cannot--”
“Dude, chill,” she advised. “I think you’re suffering withdrawal from having a cool pastor.”
“Oh my gosh, that old fart is SO boring!”
She started cracking up. “Indi, that was mean!”
“Yeah,” I acknowledged. “But it was true. He’s boring!”
“Um, actually, I was referring to the ‘old fart’ thing...”
“Well, that’s true, too,” I declared defensively.
“Yeah, okay, well, I gotta go eat,” she said. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Kay, bye.”
“Bye.”
I hung up with her, and immediately picked up the phone and dialed my cousin Josephine’s number.
“Yeah?” she answered.
“Hey, Jo, what’s up?” I greeted her.
“My brother’s being a homo. You?” she inquired cheerily.
“Hehe,” I giggled. “I had a little run-in with Rob this morning.” I proceeded to relay the whole story, and when I finished, there was about five seconds of silence.
Finally, Jo spoke, “What a gay little fag.”
I couldn’t help laughing. “Thanks, Jo. I needed to hear that I’m not the only one who feels that way. Though, somehow I have the feeling Jenn would agree if she could find the words to say it.”
She giggled. “Yeah. You know what? There’s gonna be a new guy at the church in my grade. He’s the pastor’s son!” she sang out.
“Really?” I asked. “I didn’t know how old they were. All I know is that there’s three teenagers.”
“There’s one in your grade, too,” she informed me. “And there’s a senior. The other kids are... let me see... there’s three girls, they’re ten, seven, and one. The three teenagers are guys, and there’s a five-year-old boy.”
“Hmm... big family,” I commented. “Groovy.”
“Yeah.”
“Indiana, it’s time to eat!” Mom called up the stairs.
“Kay!” I yelled back. I returned to the phone. “I gotta eat, so, I’ll see you at church.”
“Right. Bye Indi,” she said.
“Later.”
I hung up the phone and ran downstairs.