Homepage of the Rising Sun
Out there in the vast reaches of the Web I am sure you can find pages by other gaijin in Japan describing the ancient art of the tea ceremony, or what it's like to visit a Shinto shrine, or discussing traditional Japanese foods. I do not write about these things. It's not because I don't know about them. I do. Really. It's just that there are thousands, nay, millions of people better qualified to talk about them than me. Plus I figure if you were really interested in such topics you'd go read a book or something.
The purpose of this site is to tell you the things you won't find in any book about Japan. Not secret things, because I don't know any secret things, just stupid things that no one else is dumb enough to spend time writing about. It also features a small collection of weird pseudo-English, or "Japlish", sighted on various consumer goods, although I'm sure I'm not giving the mighty Engrish.com any competition on that front.
All photos here were taken with my cellphone digital camera, then enhanced and enlarged to the best of my Photoshopping abilities.
Fashion
I mentioned reading books about Japan, but it's worth pointing out that many English-language books on the subject were written in the early 1990s, when American interest in Japan was high. This means that they are a decade or more out-of-date when it comes to transient topics like fashion. I'll presume that you all know enough to realize that the Japanese don't wear kimonos all the time anymore, but they don't all wear business suits and school uniforms all the time either. They do when at work or school, but when off-duty the Japanese dress much more casually. Nowhere near as casually as Americans, but about the same as Europeans.
The main difference between Japanese casualwear and American casualwear isn't the type of clothes (there are plenty of t-shirts and jeans here too), but the care taken in putting together an outfit. I rarely see Japanese people who look like they just threw something on. Outfits are coordinated, and colors and styles usually seem to have been selected with both the season and current fashion in mind. As of 2003-2004, fashions for young women are in a retro '80s phase.
Trans Erotic Mode ("No. 1 Dance & Sports Brand!") is a clothing line for late elementary and junior high school girls and not, as one might guess from the name, sexy drag queens. They produce punk-themed gear such as this "Anarchy in the Music" shirt. I guess it's a cool shirt, but it's kind of weird seeing such things on ten-year-olds!
Of course, were I a Japanese ten-year-old I'd probably prefer to dress like a mini-Joan Jett than wear the other styles of clothing targeted at my age group. These range from the vaguely creepy, like "Penthouse Club Lovers", to the intensely saccharine, like "be a wonderful day for you, BE HAPPY CUTE GIRLS, LOVE SWEET, favorite".
The "HAIR STORY" beauty parlor is in my town in Japan. I've never had my hair cut there, though. Their slogan is "Her destiny changes in this place", and all I'm really looking for is a trim and blow-dry.
I was at a mall in Kumamoto when I spotted the shirt with Bush, bin Laden, and Hussein on the front and the slogan "MAKE LOVE, NOT WAR" on the back. I was sorely tempted to buy it, but it was rather expensive. I was also afraid that if any other Americans saw me wearing it they'd start shooting.
The chicken-and-egg backpack was a cheap plastic thing going for 100 yen, but I also passed it by. The baby chick reminded me too much of Michael Jackson.
However, I just could not resist the bag with the strange nihilistic cowboy duckling! It's a sturdy, good-sized canvas shoulder bag, and was on sale for 1050 yen. It's definitely one of the best purchases I've ever made.
Food and Drink
It took me a moment to realize that "Plus Heart" was the name of the store where this rice container was on sale and not a description of additional ingredients.
These "Negresco" cookies are Oreo knock-offs produced by Nestle for the Japanese market. In America, I think the politically correct name would be "African-Americancos".
"Natural Viagra" is one of the flavors available at a local ice cream shop. They also have assorted vegetable flavors, including spinach and garlic.
The best-known problem the Japanese have when it comes to English is mixing up "L" and "R". This happens because the English "L" and "R" sounds are not used in Japanese; the nearest Japanese-language sound is somewhere in between the two. Because both "L" and "R" are so similar to this one Japanese sound, most native Japanese speakers can't hear any difference between words like "Light" and "Right". This problem carries over into writing, as you can see from the two drink menu photos above. The results of "L" and "R" confusion are sometimes silly, like "12 Fravors", and sometimes scary, like "FLESH ORANGE JUICE".
I wanted to "be relieved and use it" when I saw this cup in my hotel in Tokyo, but instead I felt sad. Perhaps the poor cup had once been successful, but now it's all "WASHED UP"!
Money
The Japanese 500 yen coin is perhaps the coolest coin in the world. It's gold colored, and as you can see above, pretty big. At the current exchange rate it's worth a little less than US $5, so it's not chump change either. But the real reason I like it so much is that it always makes me feel like I have pirate treasure! Tell me this coin doesn't look like something you might find in a chest buried on a Caribbean island. I have to resist the urge to say things like "Arr matey, here's your share of the booty!" whenever I hand one over to a cashier.
It's all about the Fukuzawas, baby! These are the 100,000 yen bills from when I cashed out the last of my bank account before returning to the States, and this photo represents the largest amount of cash money I've ever held in my hand. What you see here is worth something in the neighborhood of US $4,000.
Toilets
For good measure, here's a picture of the infamous Japanese-style toilet. I avoid using these whenever possible, because I'm always afraid I'm going to either fall over or urinate on my pants. Most public bathrooms have at least one Western-style toilet (it usually doubles as a handicapped stall), but train stations and parks often do not. Sometimes there's no toilet paper either. I don't mean the toilet paper has run out, I mean there's not even a dispenser for it. Japanese people usually carry packets of tissues around with them for this reason. I usually just "hold it" until I get home, though.
Last update: 3/19/06
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