Index . Texts of Anaildubh

Open Wound

I wonder if they know
I wonder if they see
This open wound...
This angry fire that eats away at my soul...
Such a lonely prison...
My soul...
Trapped in a diamond
Contained in an unbreakable cell...
No longer belonging to me...
It's no longer mine.
Part of it is His...
I love Him so.
Part of it drifts...
Hoping for a resting place.
Part of it weeps...
Sold or traded at this auction
Or that...

Either dead or enslaved.
So what does that leave me?
Empty...
Longing...
Dreaming...
Of a long, painless sleep...
Of a time when there is no time...
Of a chance to rest my helplessness
In someone's gentle arms...
Someone who won't condemn
Who will let me run wild
And catch me when I fall...
Someone whose eyes see past the walls
Through the veils
Around the barriers
And accepts the crumbling stamina
The pointless morals
The amnesia-like dream walks
And loves me...
Someone I don't hurt with my every move
And betray every time I can
Someone who, obviously, doesn't exist
Except in my dreams...
In those short, painful dreams
When I wake, and the tears fall
The dreams I'd rather not have...
The ones I would not miss
In that long, dark, dreamless sleep...
In that empty foreverness of death...
Rest, at last...
Sleep...
Where the pain that
They don't know
They don't see
The open wound
Dulls to a low ache,
And fades...
And I shall never feel it again...


Copyright 2003 Anaildubh

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