Index . Texts of Anaildubh

Dragons Wings

           Ye gods...
           This is agony i can scarcely bear...

i remember flying, the wings of a dragon beneath me...
and he was so strong...
so gentle...
i trusted him implicitly...
always have, always will.
and we were flying, and i looked out in awe
for that small, innocent, wonder-filled child had never flown before...

and i trusted him...
the same way that i loved him...
no questions asked.

           i remember reaching out to him...
           after all, i tend to grasp at what i can't have.
           so i reached out for the security i want
           the love i long for...
           and disaster struck
           with a flash like lightning

i remember a darkness reaching for him,
a cold devouring consuming darkness wrapping around him
and he swerved to get away...

           i remember clinging to him, trying to hold fast
           to what never really was mine anyway
           and he fought to escape my smothering grip
           he struggled to break my desperate grasp
           and he won...

i remember falling, a scream torn from my lips
as terror possessed my brain
and then the sweet, sudden darkness
of sleep

           i remember a scream
           tearing my heart in two
           a scream of pain and sorrow
           as he dove toward the ground
           and the small crumpled figure lying there

           and i remember his tears...
           dragon's tears?...
           as he lifted her up
           and held her close
           as he had never held me...

           and i remember my pain...
           for in my moment of insanity
           i had destroyed the other half of my soul
           the girl who loved him like a child
           and who he loved...
           in his way...
           i had destroyed my only chance-
           although secondhand-
           for happiness...

           and i remember my tears...

i remember waking...
sort of...
as i slowly was able to hear his voice
calling me gently,
as though there were tears in it
and then the touch of his lips on my forehead
and i opened my eyes and said,
'it's all right, kaire'...
and then realised i couldn't see...
and then we cried together...

           i remember the young girl's waking
           now and forever blind...
           and i remember my joy at her life
           and my pain at her blindness
           my fault...

i remember that she cried...
the woman who loved my kaire...
she was so sad that i fell...
she said it was her fault...
and i wanted to hold her
kiss her tears away
and tell her...

           i remember thinking
           i can't live with myself...
           having killed the dreams of a young girl
           having half-killed myself
           i can't live like this.....

i remember waking up at night screaming...
something was missing...
and i think it was her...

           And so the woman who loved died....
           and so the girl who was blind lived...
           and the soul that housed them both weeps at night...
           Over a lost life...
           a lost love...
           and a lost hope...

           For the dragon has flown,
           and the girl is alone in the darkness...


Copyright 2003 Anaildubh

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