Title:
Figuring
It Out - Part Five
Author:
White Witch
Email:
whitewitch@poetic.com
Rating:
R
Summary:
It takes more than just pencil and paper to figure things out.
Feedback:
Yes, please. Flames included. I just love having those bad ones. Really
perk me! NOT! Just give it to me. I can handle ‘em.
Archives
Rights:
Fanfiction.net. You want just ask.
Disclaimers:
Own nothing. Except the plot. If there’s actually one here. Hehehe...
Any new characters are mine. Fox and Marvel take credit for the characters.
Author’s
Notes:
My first attempt at UST. Hehehe…Don’t say I didn’t warn you!
I recommend you to listen to the song: Talk Show Host by Radiohead while
reading this fic. It plainly sets the mood, I think. Especially when
things get hot! Hehehe...I was listening to it while writing. Also,
THANK YOU, MARISA, for beta-ing me!!!! Doing a series ain't easy without
making lots of mistakes - grammar, spelling, etc. Glad I found her!!!;)
PART FIVE
--------
Radiohead - Talk Show Host lyrics
I want to, I want to be
someone else or I'll explode
Floating upon the surface for
The birds, the birds, the birds
You want me, well fucking well come and find me
I'll be waiting with a gun and a pack of sandwiches
And nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing
You want me, well, come on and break the door down
You want me, fucking come on and break the door down
I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready...
--------
How
would a person describe this delicate feeling that he or she could have?
This feeling that could make him or her so lost and so vulnerable, and
yet, so complete and so strong at the same time. What was it?
Love?
If
it was truly love, this element that sneaked around lives, making people
confused for one another, misjudging it to be a dislike for each other,
then anyone would dare to admit love was complex.
If
it was complex, then making love must be undefined. Because who could
define such an act where sensations created were too obscure for words?
No
one could define it.
Not
Logan.
Not
Rogue.
But
they didn’t care for its definition. All they cared for was the feel
of their hot, naked bodies writhing against each other. Wanting only to
feel more of each other. Hoping to have their desires fulfilled. Desires
that mounted as he slid his hardness against her, making him high like
no other drug or liquor could. While she could only bathe herself in hot
moisture and inhale his harsh breath on her. And such desires would
often lead to both yearning for him to be buried deep inside her and she
would hold on to him for dear life.
"Slow
down, darlin’." A husky whisper from him, trembling slightly as
he regained control. "I'm not going anywhere."
"Logan,
Ah want you. Inside. Ah need you." She would pant, wanting only
him.
"You
sure?" His breaths would be as harsh as hers.
"Please,
Ah can't , Ah want --" She would pull him down to her.
"Oh
God -- " And he would lose all logic at the feel of her.
And
she remembered nothing but his name. "Loganloganloganlogan."
For
a woman to feel him between her, and inside her, there wasn't anything
dirty about it. When they became one with each other, when they opened
up to each other, all she would remember was the strong hold of his
embrace on her as she let herself go, moving with him together in a
simple rhythm. A simple rhythm that would make her heart beat faster.
Make her grasp on him tighter.
And
for a man to have her clasping him tight while pulling her along with
him as he moved, especially when he loved her, and he knew what he was
doing to her, all in time he would lose this simple rhythm. He would
ache to go faster but only to control his passion because she wasn't
ready yet.
"More,
more, more."
But
when she pleaded, he couldn't deny that request. Only be pleased that his needs were
met.
And
then that rhythm would go faster. So fast that control was lost. So fast
that both man and woman lost themselves in this fiery moment. And they
could do nothing but hold each other tight as they continued moving in
unison.
“Don’t
stop. Don’t stop.”
“I
won’t, baby. I won’t.”
And
he kept on moving all the while watching her under him flushed and
dazed. And she would gaze up at him in trust, seeing how he shut his
eyes and bared his teeth as the pace increased. But he would never stop.
He would keep on moving.
Moving
until names and incomprehensible words were growled and screamed.
Moving
until that rhythm slowed down.
Until
they came to a stop.
And
then they remembered nothing else.
Except
love.
So
love was complex. Making it was undefined. And Logan wouldn't have it
any other way. Let it be defined only between them. Between him and
Rogue.
He
spooned against her, all damp and spent as she was. This time round, for
the first time, his healing powers were going to take a long time to
work. His body may be well and ready to go again in minutes, but his
heart had been fully used to express his feelings for her. No gift could
heal that yet. It was all worthwhile.
"Hey."
He brushed aside her hair from her damped temple.
She
turned in his bed, smiling at him. Her cheeks still rosy from their
recent lovemaking.
"Hey
yerself." Her eyelids were half-lidded. She was exhausted but the
passion in her was still burning clear in her eyes. She touched his lips
with her fingers, loving the feel of them. They were the softest part of
him.
"Whatcha
looking at?" The thin lips curved up.
Her
gaze returned to his. The intensity of it had softened, mirroring her
own emotion for him. "You."
"What
about?" His fingers caressed her cheek. His voice soft and
affectionate.
"Ah
love you." Her heart fluttered at her own words. A slight fear
still existed but she trusted him. Her finger touched his nose. He
pulled the small hand away and brought it to his lips.
"Why
didn't we do this a long time ago, Logan?"
"Oh
I don't know." A naughty smile on his features. "You were too
busy getting on my nerves?"
"Me?!
You were the one who always had somethin' crude to say about what Ah
wear!" She turned away from him, apparently annoyed.
That
action should have made him mad last time, now it merely amused him. Yet
he knew that irritated look too well by now. His hand slipped to her
waist.
"Come
here, you." Pulling her closer, he turned her to face him.
"I'm sorry, darlin’." An affectionate kiss from him on her
forehead.
Lifting
up her chin, he smiled at her. "I love you."
An
embrace from her.
A
sigh from him.
"But
it's so strange that Ah can touch you. If this is really a dream, Logan,
Ah don't want it to end." She inhaled his scent deeply and hugged
him tighter.
Yet
only silence answered her.
"Logan?"
Still
no answer.
"What
is it, Logan?" Anxiety was beginning to surface in her tone. But
he didn’t stir as he lay beside her. His eyes were shut tight. His
face contorted in pain. No, no!
She
struggled to free herself from his hold, pushing his hands away, pulling
her legs away, trying to get off the bed. No touching. No touching. No
touching.
She
didn't know what was happening. She wasn't sure whether it was the
effects of her skin. Perhaps it wasn't a miracle at all. Her skin was
finally reacting to him. But it didn't feel anything like that. She knew
the pain was different.
For
her, touching someone was like having an overload on her system. Like
another person was trying to break into her and pushed her aside to take
over her body. Her head would feel like exploding as her mind registered
whatever mutant powers she had absorbed.
It
didn't feel that way. Only her head hurt. There was nothing else. No
memories. No foreign personalities. No new mutant powers.
She
shut her eyes, succumbing to the pain and let herself go.
"Rogue?
Rogue?"
She
felt her shoulders shook. The vision was blurry as she opened her
eyes. But the pain had subsided.
"Logan,
what - what happened?"
She
stared at him, astounded to find they were fully clothed now. Both no
longer in his room. They stood close in a wide, vacant area. There were
swirls of white mists around them. Yet none touched them as the vapor
twirled behind transparent walls around them.
What's goin' on?
"I'm
glad the two of you are finally decent." A whirring noise was heard
behind her.
He
came out from the mists.
"Professor?"
"What's
going on, Charles? You're playing with our minds?!"
She
recognized the sound of his claws too well.
"Calm
down, Logan."
But
he wasn't ready for that yet. "Where the fuck are we? Bring us back
to our room!"
"That
wasn't your room." came the simple reply.
He
wheeled himself closer to them. Stopping near Rogue, he touched her
hand. "How do you feel, Rogue?"
"Ah
can touch." She confessed.
"Why
is that?" He asked, ignoring the possessive hold of her lover.
"Because
this--" A cold feeling washed through her. "This ain't
real? Just a dream?"
The
Professor was grim. He lifted his hand and the white mists swirled
rapidly around them. Then slowly as they cleared, they found
themselves in the medlab.
Two
people laid unconscious with multiple of tubes and wires on them. Both
seemed badly hurt. One of them was scarred badly.
“He’s
recovering but I’m not sure about her.” The concern female voice
came from behind them. Several thuds were heard as she finally came into
view. She walked past them. Either she didn’t notice the three
spectators or she couldn’t see them at all.
“Yes,
Jean. I’m afraid we could lose her if the Professor doesn’t
hurry.” The other doctor approached the female patient. His blue furry
hand touched the bandaged arm. The blood was soaking through.
“He’s
trying, Hank.” She turned to her right and everyone followed her gaze.
There
was the Professor, sitting quietly between the patients. He was deep in
concentration with each of his hand hovering above each person's head.
"What
happened?" It was Logan who finally asked. Worry clear in his eyes.
The
wheelchair turned to face them.
"The
both of you were found trying to kill each other. And very well nearly
did. It was fortunate that Jubilee found you and used her plasma bursts
before things worsened."
"No,
can't be." She hadn't realized she had pulled her hand from Logan. “But
we didn’t even strike-–did we?”
"It
actually happened?" Logan’s voice croaked, realizing the truth.
"The
two of you--" The Professor sighed but there was a slight smile on
him. "When two people fall in love, Rogue, Logan, they express
their affections in terms of gifts, small notes and intimate
gestures."
He
lifted his hand again. And the mist returned, bringing them to where
they were before.
"Apparently,
the case is different for you. Only when you'd nearly killed each other,
and thus came here, did you realize the affection you have for each
other."
A
full smile on him as he noted the blush on both Rogue and Logan.
"What
is this place, Professor?" She asked.
"This
is the Unconscious, Rogue."
Confusion
was clearly visible on the couple.
"Yes,
Rogue, this is not real. You are not what you are. You can touch and
feel Logan and so does Logan with you because you are only entities of
the mind. You are not real. You are your subconscious." He
explained.
"I
know of your denial for each other, Rogue, Logan. It has gone far
enough." A frown from the Professor. "Forgive me if I did it
without your permission. But I have to make the two of you see. And to
stop you from endangering each other’s lives. And of course for the
safety of others. The two of you are very powerful mutants--"
"Cut
the crap, Charles. What did you do?" A snarl from Logan, not at all
patient.
"What
I did was merely bring the two of you to a common plane. Put your
subconscious together to a common memory. From there, I left the two of
you to figure things out." A smile from him. "I merely brought
you back again to where the whole fighting began. That is, in the
kitchen. Then I left you both to understand each other. "
But
Logan didn't see it that way. "Understand?! The fuck I understand!
This ain't real, Wheels! You said so yourself! If we wake up we won't
remember, will we? So you tell me what’s there to understand?!”
She
noted the anxiety in his voice. She went to him to hold him, comfort
him. But he pushed her aside.
The
Professor was silent.
Logan
was angry and frustrated.
She
was -- It ain't real. Numb.
"I
have to bring you back, Rogue, Logan. The longer you stay here, the
longer the two of you will be revived." His grim features returned.
"You may die."
She
had been right. This was it. Nothing good ever happened to the Rogue. He
was going to leave her when it was over. He didn’t even want her to be
near him now. But a Rogue was always strong. She had to be strong. It
was good while it lasted. At least she had touched him. She had
confessed to him here even if she wouldn't remember any of it later on.
Well, at least it would be good that he couldn’t remember. There was
nothing they could have built on since this wasn’t real. Since in
reality, she couldn’t touch and she knew he wouldn’t want that.
"Come
on, Logan. We have to listen to the Professor. We can't have you dead.
The girls still need you. They haven't had enough of Wolverine."
She pasted a false smile.
"No!"
A strong growl from him. "You go, I'm staying."
"Logan,
you'll die! Don't do this!" The anxiety clear on her.
"I'll
leave the two of you." The Professor interrupted but none of them
acknowledged his departure.
"Logan."
She pleaded again.
"I
need you, Rogue!" The hug on her was furious.
God, he
really loved her! How could she ever doubt him?
But
it didn't mean it hurt her any less to realize it wasn’t real. But she
couldn’t let him die.
"You
can't die, Logan. Ah won't let you. We have to go." She begged him,
pulling herself away, kissing him lightly on his cheek.
"We
won't remember, Rogue. I can't have that. I won't have me forget what
we've done here. I’d rather stay here." A strong embrace from him
again.
"What
of me then? You'll leave me to feel guilty all mah life? Ah can't
believe yer that selfish, Wolverine!" She shoved him aside, turning
away from him.
But
only silence from him.
So
love was complex. Complex for her. Complex for him. But at least they
had it. Both should know anything good or worthwhile never did come
easy.
"Let's
try, Logan. At least if we wake up, there’s still a chance. Even if we
won't remember, there's still a chance we could start somethin'. We'll
figure it out. If -- if we really love each other." She touched his
hand, prying it open to have her fingers between his.
A
sigh from him. "What if it happened again, Rogue? What if next time
I did kill you? You saw how badly injured you were!"
"Ah'll
take mah chances with you, Wolverine. Ah'm Rogue, remember? Ah won't let
you kill me so easily. And, besides, there must be a reason for the
Professor to bring us together, don't you think? Even if he knew this
would happen." A smile from her.
"Rogue..."
He
kissed her. He didn't want to let go and forget her that easily. He
couldn’t forget how he felt for her. How she felt for him. Not when it
was so strong. Not when he had no memories of such strong love and now
he had it, he had to let it go. Never. He wouldn’t let himself.
But
she was right. At least if they woke up, even if they were still the
same, going at it as usual with each other, at least there was a chance.
He trusted her. They would figure it out...somehow.
"I'm
sorry, darlin'." He finally said, breaking the kiss.
"Ah'm
sorry too, sugar."
A
grin from him. "I like that. Sugar. Call me that when you wake
up?"
A
chaste kiss from her on his lips. “Ah’ll try.”
Then,
she tugged his sleeve. "C'mon, they're waitin' for us. Yer
ready?"
"I'm
ready."
"Gas
explosion, huh? Weird." Jubilee hugged her sketchpad as they walked
through the hallway. "But you're ok, right?"
"Yeah,
leaky gas pipe or somethin'. But hey, Ah'm alive, ain't Ah? And all
cool!" A light laughter from her as she tugged on her bag's strap.
"But
those scars looked kinda bad." Her best friend gestured on the
injuries on her arm, hidden now under her blue long sleeve shirt.
"Yeah,
they'll heal. Ah just gotta stay away from leather for a while."
She giggled. "Ah guess that's what happens when you end up in an
explosion and Logan’s there. You know, claws and everythin'. The
explosion must have shocked him."
"But
you can't remember exactly what happened?"
"No,
not really. All Ah remembered was Ah wanted a beer. Then found that
hairy ape happened to be there too. And then, Ah guess, BOOM. Jean told
me that. The Professor’s callin' on some people to check on it."
"Wow,
that's dangerous. Lucky it was the two of you. At least you two could
stand such an explosion. If I were there --" Jubilee left the
statement hanging. There was a strange look on her features but Rogue
didn't care too much.
"So
Logan's doing ok?" A bubblegum pop was heard.
"Yeah.
Lucky fella! You know healin' powers and all. Wish Ah got his --"
"You
want what of me?" The sudden gruff voice surprised the young women.
They
spun around, nearly knocking into a hard chest. A fine looking one at
that too. One that was in silky dark shirt and all in an equally
tailored pants. Yups, pants, not jeans. Pants.
"Mother
of --, whoa, Logan, you're looking fine!" A whistle was heard from
Jubilee. "Hot date?"
"Yeah."
He smoothed out a hair from his temple.
But
his gaze returned immediately to Rogue. "So, you're ready to
go?"
And
Jubilee hadn't realized her mouth was gaping wide.
"Uhm,
Ah'm not ready. You, uhm, wanna follow me back to mah room, sugar?"
A shy smile from her.
A
disbelieved blink from Jubilee.
"Thought
you never ask." He slipped his hand to her waist.
"Uhm,
J, Ah'll see you later, ok?" A pink shade was clearly seen on her
cheeks.
"Yeah,
later, kid." A wink from him.
They
left together, walking closely side by side with her small, gloved hand
enclosed tightly in his bigger, rougher one.
"Wait,
I thought -- that she didn't -- and he --." Apparently, they left
her quite stunned.
"Hey,
Jubilee, whatcha doing?" Kitty phased in front of her.
"Huh,
what?" The frown was still there. "Oh, well, I'm trying to
figure something out, chica. Those two --"
THE
END