Folk Singer Runs Out Of Issues To Sing About
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Gareth Tamsway |
Enters Glam Phase, Next Song Likely To Be About 'Killer Robots'
THURSDAY, DECEMBER 7TH - A folk singer commonly seen at pubs and clubs around inner Sydney has announced that he "has run out of issues, man". He says the dearth of ideas being supplied to his artistic muse has forced him to reconsider his musical and lyrical direction.
Gareth Tamsway, 26, currently unemployed but plying his brand of acoustic-based guitar music in intimate venues, says that there just "isn't anything to protest about anymore".
"I've had it, trying to come up with ideas for moving, rootsy songs. I've been at this since I dropped out of Year 11, and there's just nothing to write about anymore. It's the death knell for folk and protest music," says Tamsway, sporting a fetching flannelette shirt.
"Even if there was, I'm running out of catchy chord progressions, man. G, D, C, Dm just doesn't cut it anymore," Tamsway added.
"I mean, look at the world: there's nothing wrong. The Sixties had railing against corporate greed, war, sexual oppression and racial injustice; the Seventies had the tail-end of Vietnam and incredibly bad fashion...But what do we have now in this new millennium? Nothing. Democracy and not corporations rule the world, there's sexual equality in all tiers of life, animals are treated humanely and everyone's learnt to 'give peace a chance'. So what is there to protest about?" asked Tamsway, puffing on a cigarette.
Tamsway now proposes to use the connections he has built on the underground music circuit to break into glam rock, citing artists such as David Bowie, Trent Reznor circa 'The Downward Spiral' and KISS as the touchstones for his new direction.
"Well, yeah, since the world's taken care of itself, and folk music won the 'war of peace', I'm going to take this opportunity to sing about my cock and women. And the women I want to play with my cock. And I'm gonna shoot massive big-budget videos, ride in limos - I've got it all mapped out."
Asked for more specific details, Tamsway is coy but drops some hints.
"Well, let's just say you're looking at the man, the myth, the legend: 'Requand Dreamtripper'. An alien from another place and another time, Requand attempts to make sense of planet Earth by sleeping with many beautiful women and wearing extravagant make-up...in a nutshell."
Whilst it remains unclear whether Gareth/Requand will make a success of his new career direction, he is off to a promising start: his first single delicately handles American School shootings and he has secured a bank loan from a major Australian bank which sells guns to militias in Sierra Leone.
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