Thank you for the e-card.  I didn't know Skoal had post-cards.  Learn something new everyday!

Well I hope you didn't mind me leaving our chat early last night.  I had to get my beauty sleep!  As I told you, I started my new ‘acting’ job that my agent, Bennie Swindahl, set me up with.  I was less than happy with the gig (that's show biz talk, ya know.)  Turns out it was for Beckums’s Lawn and Nursery Supplies.  I had to wear this costume that looked like a clump of Fescue grass and stand on the corner of  5th and Miller with a sign that said “ I NEED FERTILIZING.”   It wasn't too bad until there was a shift change at the bottling plant.  I had to use the sign to defend myself.  Durn pervs!  Anyway, about 2 pm I called Bennie on my cell phone and told him that the costume had given me a itchy rash and I wasn't gonna stand out there one more minute in those 4 inch pumps!  He told me to calm down and he'd bring me a Cocoa Cola  but I hung up on him and left the costume right there.  Later I saw they got Henry Tackett to wear the thing.  He's homeless but at least he had on sensible shoes.  I've had it with show biz for this week!

Lets see you asked me to tell you more about myself.  Well,  I like to bowl.  I enjoy playing poker for money but I'm not very good.  I can beat anybody at spitting watermelon seeds though.  I can tie cherry stems with my tongue.  In school I played the clarinet in the marching band.  I have found a method of typing with my 2 inch acrylic nails!!!  I was told I ought to do a web page on my method.  I guess I oughta look into that.  What do you think?  My hair color is various shades of blonde depending on whether I'm liking Trisha Yearwood or Faith Hill that week.  ;-)

Yes, I did have some naked pictures of me at one time.  I took them to the FotoFixers to be scanned.  But when I went back to get them the manager told me that scanning lewd pictures was against company policy.  He said he showed them to the district manager, regional rep, Sheriff Reynolds and both his deputies and four FotoFixer copy machine techs.  All agreed they couldn't be scanned because they fit the manual's definition of lewd.  They gave me my money back and said they destroyed the pictures to protect my good name. But I bet you his wife tore them up! I'm telling you!

Me and Bliss watched a video that took place in a male prison.  After that, I thought I better send you some Avon Soap-On-A-Rope for you to shower with.  Just remember, DON'T BEND OVER!  You ought to get it in a few days.

Love ya,
Roxanne