I Suck At My Job
What Really Goes Down In Washington
How I Blew It In Washington
You Have to Work Hard to Find The Softer Side of the President
Testing the Limits of the Gag Rule
Going Back For Gore
Secret Services to the President
Deep Inside the Oval Office
The Congressional Study on White House Intern Positions
She's  Chief of MY Staff!
How To Beat Off the Government
Going Down and Moving Up
Members of the Presidential Cabinet
Me and My Big Mouth
How to Get Ahead in Business

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Monica Under Goes Surgery

The Boston Globe reported today that Monica Lewinsky, depressed after media comments about her figure, and wanting a new image, reported to a plastic surgeon for removal of her love handles.

She emerged two days later with no ears.

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LOOK OUT FOR THE FOLLOWING VIRUSES

Lewinsky Virus: Sucks the memory out of your computer then emails everyone what it did.

Ronald Regan Virus:  Save your data, but forgets where it is hidden.

Mike Tyson Virus:  Quits after two bytes.

Dr. Jack Kevorkian Virus:  Deletes all old files.

Ellen Degeneres Virus:  Disks can no longer be inserted.

Titanic Virus (a strain of the Lewinsky Virus):  Your whole computer goes down.

Disney Virus:  Everything in your computer goes Goofy.

Prozac Virus:  Screws up your RAM but your processor doesn't care.

Joey Buttafucco Virus:  Only attacks minor files.

Arnold Schwarenegger Virus:  Terminates zome viles , but vill be baaaak.

Lorena Bobbit Virus:  Reformats your hard drive into a 3.5 inch floppy then discards it through Windows.

Viagra Virus:  Makes a new hard drive out of an old floppy.

Clinton Virus:  Gives you a 7" hard drive with no memory.

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Sing this to the tune of the Beverly Hill Billies

Well dere once was a story bout a man named Bill
Da poor president couldn't keep his willie still
Den one day he was workin at his desk
When in walks Monica and shows da boy her chest

Boobs, that is.  Two of em.  Bodacious ta ta's

Well da next thing you know, Monica is on her knees
Mouth wide open and as happy as you please
Bill sez, "Oh yeah now ~ don't say a thing"
"If you do a good job then we'll have a little fling"

Blow job that is.  Phalli osculation.

Well Bill lost his load and it fell upon her dress
He said, "Clean it up cuz you really are a mess"
And you're invited here to this fine locality
To have a heapin helpin of little Willie C.

Da weiner that is.  Da presidential staff.

So week after week, Monica is on her knees
Keepin Willie and his weiner just as happy as you please
But then she figured out dat the fling had gone too far
And she blabbed it all to Tripp who blabbed it all to Starr.

Bad girl, that is.  Cigars.  Bodacious ta ta's.

Well it weren't too long till we all knew the score
bout da stuff dat went down behind da oval office door
Da country's in da toilet and the people cry "no more"
But if we oust da cheatin jerk, den we gotta live with Gore.

Boob, that is.  Great big one.  Head stuck up his rear.

So now ya know da story bout Bill our president
Wonderin if dis fling's gonna cost him every cent
So da moral of da story is to do it quietly
And stay outta trouble with dat bitch named Hillary.