January 13, 2000

Did you hear about the woman in France who claims she was out working in her garden when an alien spaceship landed in her yard? She said the door opened and the alien walked out on the ramp. Then standing there looking at her, he exposed himself. She said if he flew all those millions of miles just to show her his passion pickle, he wasted his time because she wasn't impressed. She didn't laugh because she was afraid he'd vaporize her neighborhood.

You know what? I think that very alien did the same thing to me! Only this time he was driving a 78 Vega. He pulled up beside me and said, “Hey baby look at this.” I looked passed what he wanted me to see and noticed that he had on mismatched socks. Now if you are gonna wear no pants, you should at least coordinate your footwear! I figured this was a good time to show no emotion so I said, “Nice socks.” He looked puzzled and glanced down at his floorboard. Then he pulled off.

The back of his car had all sorts of Star Trek bumper stickers. One of them said, “I'm an alien.” That's how I knew I had had a close encounter of the 3rd kind with an alien from the planet Idaho.