Here's my response letter to the condolences I received:
It was so kind of you to show concern for my unfortunate condition.
I got a kettle and a bell and am now out front of the Walmart collecting
money to replace my exploded breasts. The Junior League is holding
a bake sale and if worse comes to worse Bob's Brakes and Tires said they
make me some little inner tubes and I could have free inflation for the
rest of my life. The inflation stems will act as nipples.
Things are looking up.
Blissley
(Deej's page is no longer up unfortunately for us all)