So I trot right in to Super Target and head for the expensive $12 rack. Eureka! Plenty of Ugly-Ass Shades to choose from. I pick several of those yellow shades that make your eyes look jaundice. Pretty bad! Then I go for the thick horned rimmed with the deep green lens. Repulsive!
The sunshade marketers aid my task of choosing ill looking glasses. They give you a narrow mirror: three inches wide and two feet long. You have two options to see how awful you look. The first is to view your selection on one eye at the time. Second, you can turn your head sideways to look in the mirror long ways. Both views are hampered by the huge price tag fastened on the nosepiece.
I finally decided to go with the black plastic rectangular shapes with light blue lens. They must look homely! I got mistaken for Julia Roberts twice at the gas station.