There are some things that should be outlawed at Halloween.
Here's four.
It should be against the law to give out tooth brushes and tooth paste samples as Halloween treats. People who do should receive a flaming bag of poo on the front steps. My dentist is a neat guy and a great American capitalist. He gives out candy and says he'll see you in six months. Then he laughs evilly while rubbing his palms together as the baby toothed ones depart.
People giving out anything that looks like popcorn balls ought to be arrested. I don't care how well they cover it: with sticky orange Jell-O or caramel or fake cheese powder, they still get tossed out on the carpet when kids spread their stash of loot. Nothing is more disgusting than a lint covered ball of jello-ed corn. I'm sure there's a razor blade in there anyway.
That song Monster Mash needs to be band for a decade. Yeah we only hear it once a year. But you hear it more than the Back Street Boys and Ricky Martin. By the time Halloween rolls around you wanna choke that Bobby "Boris" Pickett. ~Bythewaye~ did you know his other hit was "Smoke, Smoke, Smoke That Cigarette"?
Anyone who insinuates that Halloween is a celebration of evil is unAmerican. These people seem to come out of the wood work to crusade to save the world from the clutches of the devil every October 31st. All they manage to do is limit the kind of costumes that can be worn at school parties and confuse the kids. All a kid knows is that he gets to dress up as Pokemon and get free candy. How can that be evil? It would be so fun to put these worrywarts on a dunking machine at a carnival at a dollar a throw.
Yall get dressed up and have a great night being a naughty pagan dancing to Michael Jackson's Thriller in the middle of the street. You'll see me there!
HAPPY HALLOWEEN!