SHOTGUN FUN

Click here to return to the main menu.

At the end of a stressful week, there is nothing more relaxing, more soothing, more zenfully pleasing than surrounding yourself in the peaceful, serene confines of nature. And blowing stuff up.

Maybe it’s the guy in me, but there is something that will put all of the week’s worries behind you when you shoulder a shotgun and turn clay discs into dust. I was fortunate enough to experience this opportunity on a recent Sunday, when the men’s group from church decided that the best way to firm up Southern stereotypes was to head out after church and shoot stuff.

We went to a hunting club out in the country, as municipal authorities tend to frown upon shotgun discharges in the city limits. Our first challenge was five stand, where you stand in one of five stands (duh) and try to shoot things that are launched from various positions around you. There are six launching points. One goes left to right, another right to left. One gets launched from behind you, while another comes toward you from across a field. The fifth one flies away from you from the ground a few yards in front of you, and the final one, called the rabbit, is sent skipping across the ground from left to right.

I had done this one time before, and my strategy that time was simple:

1.     Yell “PULL!!!”

2.     Stand and stare.

3.     Watch people point where the pigeon had crashed into the ground without once registering in my field of vision.

But this time would be different. I opted to actually pay attention as to where the pigeons were coming from, how fast they were traveling and when I should pull the trigger. Not that I expected to actually hit anything. But I would at least fire off a couple of rounds before the pigeon self destructed upon contact with the ground.

After watching the first two groups, it became apparent that the rabbit was the wiliest of pigeons. It moves at a pace far faster than actual rabbits, and takes wild hops and bounces as it speeds across the landscape. So, of course, when it was my turn to shoot, my first shot was the rabbit.

I had already counted on missing my first shot. Or, perhaps, all of the shots. So this pretty much sealed the deal that I would start off in the red. I called “PULL!” and the rabbit came screaming out of its home. I lowered the shotgun, waited...and waited...and waited...BOOM!

Rabbit dust.

Being the cool customer I am, I turned to the watching crowd and said, “Man, this is easy.” I am assuming that they could not tell that I was saying this through the intense pain that comes with firing a shotgun with the butt of the gun resting about an inch from your shoulder. Shotguns, it turns out, have a little kick.

But my braggadocio had gathered the watchful eyes of my fellow shooters, who no doubt took delight in my next few misses (and by “few” I mean “all of the remaining shots.”)

After five stand, we moved on to skeet. Or perhaps trap. I don’t remember which is which. Whatever it was, we were standing much closer to the pigeons, and they appeared to be traveling much faster, possibly at the speed of sound. During one of the stops during this round, two pigeons were launched at the same time, and we were supposed to shoot both of them in rather rapid succession. It was during this time that I proved the law of randomness as I somehow shot both of the pigeons. At least, that’s what people told me. I think my eyes were closed.

It was a fantastic day, one that I highly recommend for any red blooded American. It’s a lot of fun, it’s incredibly invigorating and, had I stopped after my first shop, I would say it’s incredibly easy.