A ROOF OVER YOUR HEAD

So a few months ago, my wife asked me if I thought we had hail damage on our roof.

This is funny to me, since I would have no way of knowing if we had hail damage unless there was a gigantic block of hail resting on an enormous pile of wood that used to be a roof. Add to the fact that I didn’t, technically, recall a hail storm in the recent future, and I had no choice but to respond, “Absolutely not.”

She knew I was bluffing, and said, “Do you even remember the hail?”

Without giving me the opportunity to answer “no,” she reminded me that a few months prior, a storm was approaching just as we were heading out. I told her that it would not hit us for a while, and we should go ahead and go. When we were trapped in the car being pelted by hail stones the size of human heads, I realized that I had perhaps miscalculated the storm’s approach.

We called our insurance company, who sent someone out to the house to assess the damage. Indeed, he said, we had hail damage. In short time, we had a check in hand for a new roof.

I, of course, was ecstatic, having priced flat screen TVs. My wife, being no fun whatsoever, insisted that we spend the roof money on something else, in particular a roof. We called about a dozen roofing companies to give us estimates, and then sat down and reviewed all two of the estimates we received. Apparently, the roofing business is doing so well that many roofing companies can avoid the pesky annoyance of customers.

We settled on a local company that had been recommended by several friends. They not only gave the better estimate, but also came with great praise. When dealing with them, I spoke numerous times with Karen, who is apparently used to dealing with people like me. I base this on the fact that she never once lost patience when I asked questions like, “So do you take off the old roof first?”

Karen also has the tact that few in customer service industries still have. Take, for example, when I somewhat forgot to call her for a long stretch of time, a stretch that immediately followed a conversation that I concluded with, “I’ll call you tomorrow and tell you what color roof we want.”

She called me back and reminded me that I had not called her back, and that if I did not pick a color, they would put a hot pink roof on my house. OK, she didn’t say that. Like I said, she has tact. I told her that I needed to double check with my wife, and that I would definitely call her back the next day and let her know our decision. About a week later, she called me and gently reminded me again that I had not called back.

Fearing the hot pink roof, I made the decision on the phone with her.

She told me when the roofers would be out, and that it would probably take a couple of days to complete.

The roofers showed up about 7:30 one morning, ready to go. I had seen roofs being put on houses in the neighborhood, and it usually consisted of about 400 people spread out on the roof. I was a little worried when I saw two guys get out of the truck. I glanced down the road, waiting for the remaining 398 roofers to arrive. That would not be the case.

I soon realized why they did not need other people. These guys were roofing dynamos. Granted, from the inside, it sound like our house was being struck by asteroids, but such is the nature of someone pounding on your house with hammers. Overall, it took three days -- three really cold days, which made me feel kinda bad for sitting inside with the heat cranked up to 120 -- and before I knew it, they were gone. It was like they had never been there. I can’t make breakfast without leaving a never-ending mess, so I’m not really sure how they managed to clean up after putting on an entire roof.

In all, my wife and I are very happy with our new roof. It looks really sharp, and adds a lot of character to the house. And I’m sure the neighbors are glad I didn’t go with pink.