MY BIG FAT NON

MY BIG FAT NON-GREEK FAMILY

It’s not very often that I will recommend a movie to you. The reason for that is that I do not want you to have even a moment of pleasure in your life.

Oh, wait. That’s an unfortunate side effect of reading my column. My mistake.

The actual reason is that what I find to be a good movie is often not what other people find to be a good movie. For example, I think “Titanic” is one of the worst movies ever made on the planet. Other people, apparently, found it mildly entertaining.

Another example is “The Blair Witch Project.” Rarely have I come across a movie in which I cheered for the lead characters to suffer painful disemboweling at the ghostly hands of the movie villain.

So basically, when a movie is popular, I tend not to like. It’s not that I’m just trying to be different. I’m a fan of “Star Wars” or “Batman” or the like. But those movies are two-hour diversions and not major impact statements in life. And too often, I find that those movies are ones that other people watch and say, “So, when you recommended this to me, were you just messing with me?”

But despite my previous failings as a movie recommender, I have to buck tradition and offer up my four-star, can’t miss, full-on support for “My Big Fat Greek Wedding.” It’s been a long time since I have laughed through an entire film, and even longer since I have done that for a movie without a single bodily fluid joke.

“My Big Fat Greek Wedding” is the story of Toula, a 30-year-old woman who is going through the standard pressures of family life, getting a likeable job, and finding a romantic connection. It’s a fairly straightforward premise. The beauty of the movie, however, is that it sums up family life as I know it in unbelievable perfection.

Greek families, apparently, are very loud, very involved in everyone else’s business, and very opinionated about each and every matter involving family. It’s good to see the Greeks are no different than any other family.

I am not Greek. My family’s origins are predominantly Irish. But we are very loud, very involved in everyone else’s business, and very opinionated about each and every matter involving family. Basically, we’re Greek, except that we’re Irish. And that’s the beauty of life and of this movie.

Watching this movie sent me back to every family reunion, every holiday, and every family gathering I have ever attended. And I apologize to the woman sitting next to me at the movie for laughing loud enough to set off a Richter scale.

A family gathering with my family goes something like this: Around 6 pm or so, we all get together for socializing before dinner. During this time, we spend time discussing important issues, such as whatever will antagonize a single member of the family.

After socializing, it is time for dinner. Generally, this comes around 10 pm, because it takes a lot of time to fully break down each and every family member in a sound enough fashion. Confidence and self esteem are built only through breaking down confidence and self esteem.

I enjoy dinner because I am, by nature, exceptionally loud. Only one person can out-loud me, and that’s my dad. Fortunately, we are generally on the same wavelength, so we work together. My mother, of course, can trump us both by doing her subtle cough that is broadcast on a frequency that my dad and I can both interpret to mean, “Be quiet for 10 seconds while I try and force dessert down everyone’s throat. And they will eat dessert, whether they like it or not. Or at least have more potatoes. Or some bread. How about some more chicken?” No one has ever left my mother’s table without having to accept seconds, thirds, twelfths, etc.

After dinner, we move to the living room, the deck, or perhaps the kitchen. There, we pick up where we left off before dinner, only by now we are much louder and, to ourselves, much funnier.

If you have seen “My Big Fat Greek Wedding,” you will know what I am talking about, and I am sure you have seen the applications to your family. I’m not going to get into specifics of the film, because I don’t want to ruin a moment of it for you. But if you appreciate the family life that I have grown up knowing, you will appreciate the movie. And if you have never experienced family life like this, you ought to come over for dinner some time. Just make sure to take extra food from my mom.