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OH, DEER

While it is hard to tell what a 1-year-old is thinking, sometimes an expression alone makes it pretty clear. For example, the expression that says, "A deer is licking my heada, and I am not sure I like it."

You see, my family and I went to Atlanta for the weekend, and one of our jaunts included a visit to Yellow River Game Ranch, a zoo of sorts outside of Atlanta. Unlike most zoos, where animals are kept in cages and you are told not to feed them, the Yellow River Game Ranch not only lets many of the animals roam around the park with you, but also sells food for you to give to the various peacocks, deer, chipmunks, pigs, goats, etc. that are cruising about.

Some of the animals were kept in cages, as they probably assumed it would be a bad idea to have bears and buffalo mingling with the guests.

When we entered the park, my 3-year-old daughter, Allie, was mesmerized. She had a bag of peanuts she was distributing to pretty much any animal that walked near her (which, I explained, included me because, hey, I'm an animal. And these are roasted peanuts.)

She began to get frustrated after a while, however, when we got into the heart of the ranch and found that some of the animals were all peanuted-out. I went back to the food stand and purchased some more diverse fare, in particular apples and carrots. This proved to be a wise choice, because nothing instills a lifelong fear of animals in a 3-year-old than a deer engaging in a tug-of-war over a carrot.

Eventually, I broke the carrots into smaller pieces, which Allie would then hurl at the animals, keeping them a safe distance from her and also allowing them to maintain a healthy fear of humans. (We discussed with her the difference in gently setting down the food for an animal and using it as a projectile.)

Parker, our 1-year-old, was content to kick back in his stroller and just take things in, as he is with most things in life. He mostly enjoyed the birds. Ducks and chickens would come by, and he was just giddy with it. We would stand by a herd of goats, including one that had only three legs, and he was far more interested in a chicken standing up on a hill. We were almost at the end of the park, and Allie was busy feeding some chipmunks some peanuts. (Chipmunks, we learned, are not big on carrots.) We were all watching and enjoying the show, when we heard a distressed "Ahhh! Ahhhh! Ahhhh!"

When we turned to look, we saw that Parker, during his bird watching, had attracted a small deer. Granted, a small deer to us is still rather large to a 1-year-old. The deer decided that Parker's head was just delicious, and was licking away. Of course, we acted as any concerned parents would when a child is in distress. We laughed and tried to find our camera.

Parker never took his eyes off the deer. I took a peanut and held it up for the deer, who gladly took it. I handed a peanut to Parker, who nervously extended his hand upward. The deer obligingly took the peanut, and then proceeded to root around Parker's stroller and clothes searching for more peanuts. We handed Parker another peanut, and he fed the deer again. Everybody seemed happy. After a few more peanuts, we got ready to move on, when Parker made it very clear that he was no longer disturbed by his new friend and planned to feed it for an extended period of time. After each peanut, he would aggressively demand another. We were quick to oblige, lest the deer grow impatient and eat Parker's ear. Eventually, the deer moseyed off, but I am fairly sure that is because some nice woman stomped up between us and gave the deer an empty bag, which got stuck on its snout. She, of course, thought this was hilarious. I, of course, think she is the reason wild animals attack people.