"The Chosen One"
by Lisette:  Lisette_1@lycos.com

Legalese: The television series, Buffy the Vampire Slayer and all related characters and material belong to Joss Whedon and ... presently, UPN.  I claim ownership solely of the story idea -- no profit will be made by this.

Author's Note: This story takes place, as you will see, during the Buffy's senior year at UC Sunnydale.  But this future does not include Dawn, Glory, the Magic Box, or Joyce's death and Spike's sudden Buffy-obsession -- also, Oz has been returned to the fold.  Enjoy!

Brief Description:  Set around Buffy's 22nd birthday, the future starts to look up for the Slayer as she realizes that perhaps she can actually have a future.  Then everything changes forever in a series of devastating events that Buffy is powerless to prevent.  Can the Slayer survive to fight another day?

Rating: R

Do you know what it's like to be The Chosen One?

I do.

It means being the One Chosen to fight...
Fight for the Cause that was made to be yours.
Fight for everything you hold dear to you -- everything you love.
Fight for those that you will never meet -- those you will never know.
Fight against an evil so tangible that you know it's what nightmares are really made of.

Chosen to be immersed in death...
Death so thick that it chokes your every breath.
Death so prevalent that you begin to enjoy the killing.

Death so evident that you begin to kill your own humanity.
Death that makes you a killer like those you destroy.

Chosen to never have a normal life...
To never gain back the innocence that you lost.
To never go back to not knowing about the evil that permeates our world.
To never go back to carefree times with friends where immortality seems so real.
To never be able to use whatever degree you gain.
To never go back to being someone's daughter.
To never being able to be someone's mother... or wife.
To never knowing love for fear of having that love destroyed by the evil that you hunt.
To being so alone when surrounded by so many.

It means being the One Chosen to die...

I've died once already for this cause that was not mine -- for the cause that I didn't want.  I never asked to be  the Chosen One -- I never asked to say goodbye to my hopes and dreams for the future...

I didn't ask to be The Slayer...

I've died once already for this cause that I never asked for... that I never wanted... and I can't help but wonder when the faceless mask of Death will hunt me down again... 

Find me... 

Destroy me...

*Ring, Ring*

    "Hello?" a proper British voice rang out into the room, sounding a bit breathless and scattered.

    "Ah, Mister Giles!  So good to hear your voice again.  It has been a while, has it not?"

    "... James?"

    "... and the rest of the Senior Core of the Watcher's Council," James Longchamp III agreed as he leaned away from the speaker phone that connected them to Sunnydale, California, his dark eyes shifting to the others that sat around the dark oak table.  Like himself, the other twelve men that gathered in the room were dressed in impeccable dark suits, perfectly groomed and looking like the British gentlemen they had all been raised to be -- groomed to someday fill the spots that they did, just as their fathers and their fathers before them had.

    "Why are you-" the tinny voice of Rupert Giles finally began, the tension in his voice evident.

    "And how is our Slayer?" James interrupted as he steeped his fingers below his chin, his starchly pressed suit rustling slightly.

    "Our.. our Slayer?" the voice immediately stuttered back before a thick silence came over the line.  Finally, that silence was broken by a hefty sigh that carried through the line.  To everyone, it was obvious that it was a sigh of frustration and anger.  "Well, Mister Longchamp," Giles continued, his voice turning indignant.  "First of all, she is certainly not your Slayer and the last time that I had checked, I had been fired from the Watcher's Council meaning that I shouldn't even be rece-."

    "Mister Giles," James quickly interrupted, a small smile pulling at his lips, "need I remind you that once a Watcher, you are forever a Watcher?" he continued, watching as his fellow Watcher's nodded slightly in agreement.

    "Yes, but-"

    "Now, the Slayer's 22nd birthday is fast approaching, is it not?" he interrupted once again, a coy smile playing across his thin lips.

    After a slight pause, Rupert Giles replied, his voice low and steady.  "Why do you ask?"

    Ignoring the question, Longchamp shared a look with the men at the table.  "And how has her dedication to The Cause been as of late?"  Once more, you could almost here the gears turn in the ex-Watcher's head as another thick silence fell over the line.  "Mister Giles?" Longchamp prompted, his voice low and dangerous -- almost daring the other man to maintain the silence.

    Finally a throat was cleared.  "I... I do not see how this is of any concern to you.  Buffy wants nothing more to do with The Council.  I thought that she had made that abundantly clear to you all years ago."

    Feeling his gaze harden, Longchamp slowly shook his head at the phone.  "It would be good of you to remember and to remind Miss Summers that the Council never forgets our Slayer," he whispered icily before reaching one hand forward.  "Good day, Mister Giles," he added before jabbing one thick finger down, terminating the connection.

    As a thick silence fell over the room, one man slowly leaned forward, his eyes locking with Longchamp's.  "So?" he prompted, arching a bushy white eyebrow as he eyed the group.

    "The warning has been given-"

    "But the Slayer accepted the proposal -- her loyalties must be questioned..."

A Few Weeks Earlier -- Christmas Eve

    Sighing, Buffy absently twirled a sharpened wooden stake as her eyes slid lazily over the crumbling graves around her.  Even in the peak of winter, a scattering of leaves still decorated the trees and the stars twinkled down on her and the dead from high above in a cloudless sky.  All in all, it was a beautiful night for a patrol... but what a way to spend Christmas: doing patrol in a creepy graveyard when she should be snuggled up at home with Riley, drinking eggnog and relaxing with her mom... at least she got one part of her wish right.

    "Buffy, why do you think it so ridiculous that I patrol with you tonight?" Riley asked as he quickened his pace to that of his girlfriend, a warm leather jacket keeping the unseasonably cold winter night at bay.

    Sighing, Buffy quickly shook her head.  "Because this is the first Christmas that you've spent here in Sunnydale and you shouldn't have to spend it traipsing through graveyards.  And more importantly, because this is my sacred duty, not yours," she shot back as she crested a large hill, the moonlight causing her long blond hair to glow like silver.  "Your sacred duty... or job, in this case," she amended with a slight frown as she finally stopped to turn and look up into Riley's warm brown eyes, "is to protect people during the day from regular bad guys -- not run through graveyards with me at night," she added, waving her hand dramatically and indicating the silent tombs that surrounded them.

    "My only job," Riley cut in as he gently lifted Buffy's chin, her hands falling silent beside her, "is to be by the one that I love wherever she might be," he continued, forcing her to hold his gaze -- not that he really had the ability to force Buffy to do anything that she didn't want.  But as he looked down into her beautiful eyes, he couldn't help but realize once again why he loved her so very much.  Sure, she fought evil at night and saved the world from destruction on a pretty regular basis, but that was part of the reason that he loved her so much -- because she was a beautiful Light that caused the world to spin forever on, the general populous never learning of her gifts and sacrifices.  Smiling, he knew that the time had come.  "And you're the one that I love," he continued softly as he lowered himself to one knee, gripping one of Buffy's small hands in his own.

    "What are you doing?" she murmured, her hazel eyes widening in shock and confusion.

    Ignoring her question, Riley slowly reached a hand into his jacket and pulled out a small, black velvet box.  Smiling, he watched as realization pulled at her lips... she was so beautiful.  A deadly angel with the moon revealing her in all of her glory.  Yet the long coat that she wore hid the power that she contained -- hid the fact that her innocence had been shattered so long ago and was replaced by a fierce determination to save their world single-handedly, time and time again.  "Buffy... will you marry me?"

    Speechless, Buffy watched as Riley gently opened the box and pulled out a small band of gold, the moon causing its small diamond to sparkle with light.  For the first time in her life, Buffy Summers had no idea what to do.  She was a senior now at the University of California in Sunnydale, finally deciding on a major, to her advisor's great relief, in ancient mythology.  Then again, seeing as how Giles had been hired as the main professor in this new department (more of an off-shoot of the History department), it was an obvious choice -- and the most useful one for a Slayer.  The Scooby Gang had stuck together through the years, fighting evil along the way as they took a hold of their futures.  Willow was majoring in Computer Science and was looking at the possibility of teaching at the UC after graduation.  After all, staying in Sunnydale seemed to make the most sense for her: after Oz's permanent return and their recent engagement, she could settle anywhere while he toured.  Even Xander had finally gotten his act together, taking night classes to catch up with the others.  Now, he'd be graduating with them in May, a law degree under his belt and ready for whatever Anya would bring to their marriage while he began protecting Sunnydale during the day with Riley on the police force... Riley.

    After Angel had disappeared again, Lord only knew where, her relationship with Riley had strengthened.  After his graduation he had joined up with the police force in Sunnydale, but Buffy knew that he was giving serious consideration to a job offer from the Secret Service... everyone's future was going somewhere but hers.  Everyone was moving forward with their lives as she was rooted in place, amazed that she had managed to survive this long.

    "Buffy?" Riley prompted softly as snow flakes began filling the air around him -- an anomaly for Southern California.

    Torn from her thoughts, the cold flakes sent her reeling in another direction.  The last time she had seen snow fall on Christmas was years ago... when she was with Angel.  Damn how very much she still loved him -- she doubted that she'd ever stop.  Then again, she also knew that she truly loved Riley.  But it was a different kind of love.  Her love with Angel was impossible from the start, the classic story of Romeo and Juliet.  She was cursed by Fate in that way.  And she was cursed with no hope for a future... or did she?

    Sighing, Buffy looked away from the glittering diamond and into his eyes.  She did love him... yet it felt like a betrayal to Angel to even be considering such a thing, even though she knew that she had no future with the immortal vampire and it was what Angel wanted by leaving her... for her to have a chance for a normal life.  And with Riley, maybe such a thing was possible.  When she was little, Buffy had dreamed about her wedding: the dresses, the flowers... she had played house like any other little girl, toying with the idea of someday becoming a mother.  She had even dreamt about a career and growing old -- but that was before the end of her innocence; before she learned that all of her fears about what hid in the darkness were justified.  Before she became The Chosen One.

    "I can't," Buffy whispered quietly, her voice flat as she finally tore her eyes away from his.  "Being The Chosen One," she began sarcastically, feeling only bitterness inside, "comes with certain responsibilities-"

    "Buffy," Riley interrupted with a smile, getting to his feet once more, "I love you -- all of you.  Even the Slayer side," he added with a lazy grin.  "Nothing is more important to me than you and I'll stand by you through it all and will make it our sacred duty, together."

    Blinking back tears, Buffy quickly shook her head and turned away even as his words warmed her heart.  "Riley, this makes absolutely no sense," she muttered, wrapping her arms around her slim waist.  "You have no future with me -- it defies all reason that I'm alive right now... my luck is bound to run out sooner rather than later," she added darkly as she shivered slightly, remembering her own death from so many years ago at the hands of the Master -- all of the near misses that she had suffered since then.

    Sighing, Riley gently reached forward and turned the petite blond until they were toe to toe once more.  "Buffy, somehow we'll have a future together.  I promise."

    With his words, Buffy felt her simple desire for a future wash away the last of her resolve as she fell into his strong arms.  "Yes," was her whispered answer as she sealed her words with a kiss.  For the chance, the slim possibility that he was right, she was willing to risk everything -- even her heart.

Present

    "So the Slayer is engaged," another man nodded slowly, "but our question is whether or not this poses a problem."

    Sighing loudly, another man leaned back in his chair and nodded at Longchamp.  Instantly, quiet reigned as the eyes of the others jumped back and forth between Longchamp and the other man, the hostility between the two evident.  "The boy does seem willing to aid the Slayer,"  he added quietly, not surprising anyone.  Just as Longchamp had always led the faction of strict adherence to policy, Edward had always been an advocate of questioning the past and making way for change.

    "But will he serve as a distraction?" Longchamp quickly countered, frowning at Edward as heads began to nod in agreement.  "Perhaps...." he continued, answering his own question, "but we all must realize that her twenty-second birthday is almost upon us.  The issue of the engagement is unimportant in relation to her birthday -- for one solves the other."

    Sighing, Edward tiredly shook his head.  "Yes James, I am sure that we are all well aware of the upcoming date-"

    "Then you should also be aware of the decision that our ancestors made -- a decision that has set a precedence that we must follow," Longchamp interrupted coolly.

    "The precedence that has never been needed to follow!" Edward hissed, leaning forward, his muscles tense.  "This Slayer is the first that has lived this long since her predecessor.  She is the best Slayer that the Watchers have ever seen.  Maybe it will be different this time-"

    Closing his eyes briefly, Longchamp nodded curtly.  He knew that his odds of winning such a drastic measure were not yet good -- the sides had not yet been chosen and the factions were wavering.  Instead, he knew that a compromise could be made -- for now.  "I'm not doubting or downplaying the capabilities of this Slayer.  She has proven herself to us time and time again.  We shall have to watch and see," he conceded slowly, "but if the signs appear, we must follow the decision for Pauletta.  We cannot allow our ancestors' mistakes to be repeated," he said, ending the conversation with a note of finality.

    "And the Rogue Slayer?" another elder asked, instantly causing the table to stir restlessly.

    "Unfortunate," Longchamp cut in, his voice causing the room to fall silent -- save for one.

    "And why not destroy her so her duties will not be forsaken and her talents wasted?" someone spoke up, crossing his arms across his chest as his words brought on a melee of shouted agreement and anger.

    "No," Longchamp cut in once again, struggling to maintain order.  "It is unnatural for two slayers to exist.  It will upset the balance.  Since behavior modification has proven useless, the Rogue Slayer will continue to be held in secret until the end of time-"

    "And why not just destroy the Rogue Slayer," one of the newer members of the Core cut in, "allow Miss Summers to pursue a normal life and allow the new Slayer to take her place?  Surely she has earned this."

    Instead of a reply, Longchamp merely laughed before spreading his arms wide.  "What type of normal life do you think Miss Summers can have?" he asked incredulously.  "She can never have a normal life.  It has been almost three years since she has stopped aging -- soon her friends will notice and theen the alienation will begin.  The cycle will be repeated and only her death can stop that."

    Troubled, Giles slowly placed the handset back on the receiver, his face creased as the voice of James Longchamp the third rang through his head: 'the Council never forgets our slayer.'  It had been many, many years since he had heard from the Watcher's Council -- apparently not long enough.  And he'd been so busy teaching at the University, due to Buffy's insistence that he get out of his 'slump,' that time had almost seemed to fly.

    "Who was that?"

    "Hmm?" Giles asked, turning away from the phone.  "Oh, no one," he continued quickly as he leaned forward to kiss Joyce Summers absently on the cheek.  "Is dinner ready?"

    Hiding her frown, Joyce gently slipped her arm through his and led him through their house.  Their last two years together made it all but impossible for Rupert to hide the worry that he held in his eyes -- the worry for her daughter, the love of whom was what brought them together in the first place.  Buffy, please be safe, she pleaded silently before turning on her brightest smile.  He would confide in her in time.  He always did.

Two Months Later

    "Sometimes, I really hate patrol," Buffy grumbled as she eyed a young couple happily walking together outside the cemetery gates.  Sighing, she turned her eyes and once more regarded the moonlit graveyard, tombstones -- a million different shapes and sizes -- poking up from the frozen ground in all angles and directions.  "Then again, welcome to my life," she sighed as she dipped beneath one low-hanging branch that was nothing more than a skeleton that awaited the life-giving force of Spring to arrive.

    But patrol was a necessary part of her life -- or so Giles had really been preaching the last few months.  Still, with friends like hers, at least she wasn't alone... usually.  Tonight was an exception, what with everyone studying for mid-terms and her boyfriend -- no, her fiancé working late.  How any of the other Slayers had survived without the network of friends and family that she had was beyond her.  She doubted that she could do the job without them... or at least do it without losing what really made up Buffy Summers.

    "Slayer..."

    Turning quickly, Buffy pulled a stake from its hiding place as she swiveled on her feet, her eyes peering into the dark shadows of the crypts and mausoleums.  It was happening again, just as it had the last few months.  She was being watched.  It always started like this, her name being called so lightly that it whispered through the trees so that the fine hairs on the back of her neck stood on end.  To make it worse, none of the others ever heard it and she always had to question if it really was the wind.  But like always, barely breathing Buffy stood like this, muscles taught, as the minutes ticked by without another sound.  Even with enhanced Slayer senses like hers, she could never really tell if there really was anyone else out there.  And in the end, she couldn't remain on-guard forever.  Sighing, Buffy finally allowed herself to relax her posture as she gently brushed a stray wisp of hair from her face.  "No one here but me and those who are truly going nowhere in life," she muttered, surprising herself as her voice seemed to shatter the night quiet.

    "Buffy, glad I-" Xander cut off, breaking through some shrubbery beside his friend as she swiveled towards him automatically, stake on a collision course with his heart.  "Whoa!" he cried out, stumbling backwards as she caught her hand just in time.  "Whoa, whoa!" he repeated, eyes wide.  "What are you trying to do?  Skewer me?!" he squeaked, his face white as Buffy's flushed red.

    "Alexander Harris!" Buffy bit back, angrily resheathing her stake.  "You should know better than to sneak up on me while I'm on patrol!!"

    "I was no-" Xander cut off as his eyes grew wide.  "I was able to sneak up on you?" he asked excitedly, obviously impressed with himself.  Shaking his head, Xander began to dance around her, beaming with pride.  "I, Xander Harris, snuck up on the Slayer, I snuck up on the Slayer, I-"

    "I and everyone else in the city get the picture," Buffy cut in with a laugh, shaking her head quickly.

    "Hey, that's something to be proud of!" he quickly protested.  "Unless you're losing your touch," he added as his expression fell.  "Then I didn't do anything special -- it's all of those dumb wedding things that you and Willow always talk about now!" he quickly protested, jabbing a finger at Buffy.

    Smiling, Buffy quickly pushed his hand aside.  "Sorry, but not all of us like the idea of suddenly getting eloped in Vegas," she shot back, pointing at the thin gold band Xander was sporting.

    Sniffing disdainfully, Xander shrugged casually.  "The things you'll do for love," he said by way of explanation as Buffy rolled her eyes.

    "Speaking of which, where's Anya?  I thought that she was 'helping you study' tonight?" Buffy asked as she winked at her friend before bending down to retie a shoe.

    "We were, until I got a frantic call from Willow-" he broke off as Buffy literally jumped to her feet, her eyes glittering dangerously.

    "Is everything okay?!"

    "Whoa, slow down Danger Girl!" Xander cut in quickly, holding up both hands.  "Everything's fine -- great actually," he admitted with a wide grin.  "Willow and Giles think that they may have found a way to close the Hellmouth -- permanently."

    "What?!" Buffy asked in amazement, staring at her friend in awe.  "But, I-"

    "Ah, ah, ah," Xander cut in, waving a finger before her nose.  "I am merely in fetch-Slayer mode.  Info man be the G-man and we're supposed to meet him and everyone else at he and your mom's place..."

    "Then let's get moving," Buffy interrupted as she turned on her heel and marched from the graveyard, Xander hot on her heels.

    Two sets of eyes watched this from different hiding spots, two different agendas in mind.  While one was ecstatic with what he had overheard, the other was furious -- there would be hell to pay.

    It was weird to be ringing the doorbell of her own house, but then again, ever since Giles had moved in it had seemed only right that he and her mom were given some degree of privacy.  After all, she didn't want to accidentally walk in on a repeat of the candy incident that caused her mom and Giles to be shagging on a cop car like a bunch of hormone crazed teens.  Nope, she definitely didn't want to add that visual to her memory banks.  Not even a moment later, the door was opened and bright light spilled onto the darkened front porch.  "Hi Mom," Buffy greeted as she stepped past her mother and into the living room.

    "Hi Mrs. Summers," Xander chirped as he bounced in behind.

    Smiling, Joyce waved the kids in and then counted heads in the living room.  Anya and Xander on the couch, Oz and Willow on the loveseat, and Buffy alone in an armchair.  "Is Riley working late again?" she asked her daughter with a knowing smile.

    "Riley's idea of working late is nothing compared to Buffy's," Anya quickly cut in before Buffy could answer and then beamed at Xander before glaring at everyone else.  "Why aren't they laughing?  They're supposed to laugh!"

    Sighing, Xander could only nod apologetically at the others.  "We're working on that whole joke thing."

    Shaking her head, Joyce took that as her cue.  "I'll go get Rupert," she murmured as she hurried down the hall.

    "No, Angel, I do not think that you should come; the situation does not warrant your intervention-"

    "Giles, don't give me any of that crap," Angel's voice sighed through the phone.  "You said so yourself that Buffy has felt as though she's being watched -- the Watcher's Council is there in Sunnydale!"

    "Maybe," Giles conceded, frowning as he paced back and forth, "but until we have proof you shouldn't come here."

    "But I need to protect her!"

    "The Watcher's Council would never hurt Buffy," Giles quickly protested, frowning deeply.

    As if the vampire could see his doubts, Angel quickly countered, "You can't say that for sure!  I need to protect her-"

    "She has Riley to protect her-"

    "He can't protect her," came the bitter response.  "Not as well as I can."

    Sighing, Giles had no idea how to respond to such heartache.  Deep down, Giles knew that Angel loved Buffy with a depth and passion he could never hope to understand, and it was because of that love that he stayed away.  He knew that he couldn't give Buffy a future and that Riley could.  No doubt, that thought tore him apart his every waking moment.  "Yes, well you have a business to run, people that depend on you, and everything that goes along with that," Giles finally responded curtly.  "Sunnydale and its Slayer will survive without you for now," he added, his voice light.  "And with this new spell, Sunnydale may even no longer need a Slayer-"

    "Rupert?" Joyce asked as she stepped into the study, watching as his face flushed with... guilt?

    "Well then," he quickly said into the phone.  "It was good talking to you again!  I will call if the situation changes," he said as he slammed down the phone before Angel could respond.

    "Who was that?" Joyce asked suspiciously, watching as Giles cleaned his already clean glasses on a white handkerchief -- a nervous habit that she recognized.

    "Oh, just a colleague," Giles replied as he joined her at the door.  "Is everyone here?"

    Sighing, Joyce merely shook her head before leading him towards the living room.  "Your audience awaits," she said sarcastically before stepping aside and sitting on the floor beside her daughter.

    "So, what's up?" Buffy asked expectantly, her eyes shifting back and forth between Giles and Willow.  Then, she inwardly sighed as he slipped into what she now fondly called 'Professor Mode.'

    "Well, it seems that Willow, don't ask me how, has stumbled across a spell that could, potentially, close the Hellmouth here in Sunnydale."

    "Wait a minute, I thought that the Hellmouth was already closed," Oz pointed out quietly, arching an eyebrow at the group.

    "Well," Willow eagerly spoke up, her eyes shining, "the door to Hell is closed, but it's still there and puts off a sort of dark energy that attracts all of the bad stuff here to Sunnydale," she explained.

    "And the door's in the old library, right?" Buffy asked, toying with the diamond that she wore on her finger.

    "Right," Giles agreed as he took over once more.  "And we think that this spell has the capability of.. well, sort of erasing that door so that Hell can never be accessed from here again-"

    "And Sunnydale will no longer attract the bad stuff!" Willow added with a bright smile.

    "So what you're telling us is that Sunnydale could... become normal?" Xander asked, scratching his chin thoughtfully.  "Like any other town in Southern California?  That it could be a boring place to live for once?  Where the graveyards aren't full and the world isn't about to end every five minutes?!"

    "Yep, and it may take only a few weeks or months of preparation, but I think that Giles and I can do it with Anya's help!" Willow clapped excitedly.  "Isn't that wonderful?"

    "No, that's boring!" Xander protested.  "What are we going to do with ourselves?"

    "Lead normal lives," Buffy answered quietly for everyone, a hush falling over the room.  "Lead normal lives," she whispered once again as she stared down at the glittering diamond that sparkled on her finger.

    "Longchamp here."

    "Sir, this is Mark 14 checking in."

    "Is the Slayer dead?"

    "Not yet, Sir.  I overheard some information that I thought you'd be interested in."

    "Proceed."

    "Mister Giles and the young witch, Willow Rosenberg, believe that they have found a spell to dispel the door to this Hellmouth in Sunnydale."

    "Really?  Now this is interesting."

    "They said they would need time to study and prepare for it but plan to attempt the spell."

    "Very well then.  Miss Summers has had an extension on her life -- for now.  Continue to watch the situation closely and keep me posted."

    "I will do that, Sir.  Mark 14 out."

    Sighing, Longchamp replaced the receiver.  "Ah, these assassins -- so melodramatic."

    Growling softly, the demon slowly crept away from the house, having heard all that it needed to hear.  "So, the Slayer thinks that she and her little friends can destroy our source of power?" it hissed, its eyes flaring with its anger.  "She shall have to think again, for we will not allow it.  Of that I promise."

One month later

    "Ah, I love weddings," Willow sighed happily as she absently flipped through a magazine overflowing with wedding dresses of varying shapes, sizes and colors.  "Especially ones that involve me and Oz!" she grinned sheepishly.

    Laughing, Buffy looked up from her position on her dorm floor and watched as Willow stretched lazily on the bed beside her.  "What?  You don't love the idea of my wedding?" she asked, trying and failing to sound scandalized as she returned to her stake sharpening.

    "Ooh, that's not what I meant!" Willow quickly cried as her face flushed a deep scarlet, almost matching that of her hair.  "I'll love your wedding too, it's just that..." she trailed off as Buffy arched one slender eyebrow at her friend.  "Oh, never mind!" she pouted as she turned back to her magazine.  "Wanna go look at dresses at the mall with me tonight?"

    "Sorry, Riley time tonight," Buffy quickly chirped with a small grin, shrugging her small shoulders as she put the newly sharpened stake on the shag carpeting and scooped up another.

    Following her movements, Willow winced as a thought struck her.  "Oops, I almost forgot!  Giles called earlier reminding you to go patrolling -- he sounded kind of upset that you haven't gone yet this week..."

    "Well, what does he expect?" Buffy broke in, tossing the stake aside in exasperation.  "Not only am I graduating in a few months, but I'm also getting married!  They're both kind of time consuming, you know!"

    Without even blinking an eye, Willow continued.  "And your Mom called a little bit later telling you not to worry about patrol tonight... I heard Giles yelling in the background... well, at least the closest thing to Giles yelling that I ever heard," she amended with a sheepish smile, finally tearing her eyes away from the dresses and wincing at her friend's frown and faraway eyes.  "Oh... I didn't say that right, did I?  Bad Willow!" she admonished herself.

    Forcing a smile, Buffy slowly shook her head.  "No, I just.. well, they finally admitted that they like each other... although that's still giving me a wiggins'," she added, wrinkling her nose at the thought of anything, well, icky between the two.  "But the Watcher in Giles and the Mom in Mom are causing them to argue an awful lot lately... I don't want to be responsible for driving them apart."

    "... Oh," Willow murmured quietly, at a loss for words.  "Well, it's Riley time tonight, right?  What are you guys going to do?" she asked, making the mental switch from comfort-friend mode to change-to-happy-topic mode.  "Something romantic?" she asked eagerly.

    "No... we'll probably have another 'talk' asking me to go to the doctor's again," Buffy sighed, surprising her friend with her answer.

    For a moment, Willow could only sit and stare as her friend absently picked up another stake -- almost nonchalantly.  "D... doctor?" Willow stuttered, her eyes growing wide.  "Why... why do you need to see a doctor?  Are you sick?"

    Glancing up, Buffy couldn't help laughing at Willow's anxious expression.  "Of course not -- I'm the Slayer, remember?  I don't get sick!"

    "Then... why are you going to the doctor?"

    "I'm not," Buffy replied stubbornly as she picked up her stake and began sharpening it once again, this time with a furious vengeance that didn't escape Willow's sharp eyes.

    "Oookay," Willow nodded, drawing the word out as she flipped the magazine closed.  "Then why does Riley want you to go see one?"

    Sighing, Buffy slowly shook her head.  "Because even though he won't directly admit it, having a family is really important to him and he wants to make sure that everything is okay with... you know, the plumbing," she finished awkwardly, watching as a light seemed to snap on in her friend's mind.

    "Oh," she murmured, flushing slightly.  But then her attention shifted to what else her friend had inadvertently mentioned.  "Family.. as in little Rileys and Buffys?" she asked quickly, her eyes growing wide at the thought of it.

    Surprised by her friend's words, Buffy pondered the image it brought before giving up.  "Definite scary thought," she laughed, wrinkling her nose.  "After all, there can be only one-"

    "Highlander?" Willow asked innocently.

    "I was going to say Slayer," Buffy responded dryly as she rolled her eyes at her friend.  "Besides, don't you have a certain spell that you should be working on?  You know, one that makes all of our lives that much easier?" she prompted.

    Making a face, Willow slowly dragged herself off the bed and slipped on her shoes.  "Yeah, yeah, I'm going," she sighed as she grabbed her jacket and headed for the door.  "But if I have to do this, then you have to make your Watcher happy and patrol before Riley-time!" she called out before disappearing through the door.

    Sighing, Buffy looked at her pile of stakes.  "Might as well put them to good use," she agreed to the empty room and swept them into her bag of tricks.

Later that night

    Glancing around the darkened streets, Buffy couldn't help but wish that the residents of Sunnydale would be smart and stay indoors for once.  A few minutes and a piercing scream later, Buffy was reminded of how futile such a wish was.  Breaking into a run, Buffy's long coat flapping behind her, she nearly flew into the first dark alley that she came upon and skidded to a stop.

    "Don't you people ever learn," she began, addressing the three large vampires that had a young woman cornered, "that Sunnydale isn't a grocery store with meals ripe for the picking?  This is my town," she stated as she withdrew a single stake from the bag.

    "Slayer," one of the vampires hissed, full game face coming on as they forgot their happy meal on legs, as Spike used to call it, a new game afoot.

    "Glad you figured it out," Buffy replied sarcastically as she dropped the bag and beckoned them forward.  Surprisingly, the vamps did the smart thing for once as they charged her as one.  "Ooh, teamwork," Buffy nodded as she dropped to the ground in a blur and swept her leg out faster than the three could follow, sweeping their feet out from beneath them and sending them tumbling onto their backs.  Then, going with the momentum, she quickly flew forward and landed on her hands -- one on the gravel beside the middle vampire while the other holding the stake plunged the wood into his heart -- before continuing the flip back ontoo her feet.  Grinning, she felt the adrenaline pulse through her veins as the vampire exploded behind her.

    "And another one bites the dust!" she laughed as the other two, finally on their feet again, charged from either side.  Turning, Buffy jumped in the air and kicked out with both legs parallel before her, catching one full in the chest and sending him flying even as she flew backwards into the arms of the other so powerfully that he ran into the wall of the alley.  Grunting, Buffy pulled away, swiveled, and staked the vampire -- turning him into a cloud of ash.

    "Two down, one to go," she muttered, turning just in time to duck the swinging of a trash can lid, the metal ringing off of the brick as the vampire roared in anger and pain.  "Temper, temper," Buffy hissed before sending him flying with a powerful roundhouse kick.  Smiling, she quickly pulled a stake from its hiding place in her jacket lining and sent it flying.  A second later only dust remained.  Grinning, Buffy dusted her hands as she moved towards the cowering young woman, her nurse's uniform stained with alley grime.  "Hey, you okay?" she asked gently as her eyes took in the girl's unmarked neck.

    "What... what were those things?" the girl asked with wide eyes as she began edging towards the street beyond.

    "Just a bad dream," was Buffy's sighed response.  "Just keep in mind that nights in Sunnydale aren't all that they're cracked up to be," she shrugged as she escorted the woman back to the line that separated the desolate alley from the brightly lit street beyond.  As the woman nodded and hurried away, Buffy remained on that line and couldn't help but realize how closely the situation mirrored her own life: the alley represented the darkness that she fought while the street beyond symbolized the normal life that she left behind when she became the Chosen One -- and as always, she stood between the two -- experiencing both but never able to forget the other.  It was a perilous position that she was in -- a difficult spot to maintain with a chance of toppling.

    Shivering, Buffy pulled her long jacket closer around her slim form as she turned to regard the dark alley.  Again, the feeling that she was not quite alone -- the one that had been plaguing her for so many months now -- rose again.  "Is anyone there?" she cried out impulsively.  As the silence began to thicken, Buffy shivered once again.  Definitely Riley time.

    "Anybody home?" Buffy asked as she pushed the apartment door closed behind her.  Instantly, a wave of tantalizing aromas swept over her.  Italian -- definitely Italian she decided with a grin.

    "In the kitchen," came a muffled response as Buffy slipped out of her coat and hung it in the closet, setting her Slayer bag by the door.  Turning, she moved on silent feet down the short hallway and slid onto a stool at the counter that separated the kitchen from the living room.

    "Whatcha making?" she asked, grinning broadly as Riley moved from one boiling pot to another, dressed in jeans and a sweater that nicely showed off his physique.  Buffy felt her smile grow wider.

    "Fettuccine Alfredo," Riley replied as he leaned over the counter and kissed Buffy briefly.  "How was your night?" he asked, leaning on the counter, a soft smile playing on his lips as he watched her nose scrunch slightly.

    "Uneventful -- I dusted my quotient of bad guys and decided to call it a night," she said lightly before averting her eyes to the boiling pots.  "So, what's the occasion?" she asked brightly -- too brightly.

    Frowning, Riley turned back to his work as he turned off the oven, the smell of garlic permeating the air as he dished up two plates.  "You felt watched again, didn't you?" he asked, knowing her too well to be put off by the protective shield she still used -- the one that allowed her to be the mighty Slayer that everyone relied upon.

    "Probably nothing," Buffy argued, brushing away his concern as she followed him to the dining room table, noting the lit candles.  "Now I repeat, what's the occasion?" she asked, arching one finely shaped eyebrow, her tone one of playful suspiciousness.

    Instead of answering, Riley opened a bottle of wine before looking into her bright eyes.  She was wearing a pair of tight black pants, a deep red shirt clinging to her slim form and dipping low over her bosom -- Slayer clothes, as she called it.  "I love you," he said quietly as he reached forward and brushed a stray lock of blond hair, fallen loose from its twist, from her face before catching her small hand in his own.

    Slightly surprised, Buffy felt a blush stain her cheeks as she slid into the chair opposite him.  "Well, I love you too," Buffy replied with a grin as she took a sip of wine, the liquid leaving a fiery trail down her throat until her belly was filled with a soothing heat.  "I'm marrying you, aren't I?" she laughed.

    "Yes, you are," Riley replied firmly, settling his long frame into his chair.  "And together we'll protect Sunnydale from the forces of evil," he grinned boyishly, as he quickly sat forward.

    "Yep, the Slayer and her sidekick!" Buffy laughed as she picked up a spoon and fork, beginning the tedious process of wrapping the noodles around the pointed tongs.

    "Sidekick!" Riley laughed, shaking his head again.

    "Every Slayer's gotta have one-"

    "Until Giles and Willow close the Hellmouth," Riley interrupted nonchalantly.

    "If they ever figure out the spell-"

    "They will," Riley cut in earnestly, "and then the Slayer and her sidekick will be able to settle down, maybe move, have a few kids..."

    "KIDS!!" Buffy choked out, almost spitting out her first forkful of pasta.  "Riley," she laughed, "I'm only twenty-two.  We have plenty of time to worry about kids!"

    "But I want to worry about you and kids right now," Riley said quietly as he leaned across the table to take both her hands in his.  "Buffy, I love you no matter what the future brings, whether it be exciting or boring, long or short... and it's because of that love," he continued quickly, his eyes avoiding hers, "that I made an appointment for you tomorrow to see Doctor-"

    "You WHAT?!" Buffy asked, her eyes growing wide as she snatched her hands away as though burned.  He had been pestering her about getting a physical for weeks now, but she hadn't had one in years -- since cheerleading -- and definitely didn't want one now.

    "Buffy, it's just a simple physical!" Riley said quickly, exasperation showing clearly on his handsome face.  "I had mine done today-"

    "Well good for you!" Buffy snapped angrily, knowing that she was being unreasonable and not caring.  Damnit, it was her body, not his!  Which made it damn well her decision -- not his.

    "Buffy, I--" Riley broke off as the ring of his telephone interrupted him.  Sighing, he quickly reached over and snagged the phone and brought it to his ear.  "Hello?.... Yeah, she's here," he responded as his eyes slid over to her angry countenance, her arms crossed stubbornly across her chest in a way that screamed: You can't make me do anything!  Sighing, he quickly nodded his head.  "Okay, we're on our way," he agreed as he replaced the receiver and slid his chair away from the table.  "I guess that dinner will have to wait," he said before she could ask.  "That was Giles -- something's up..."

    Needing no more prompting, Buffy quickly hurried to the door, snagging her coat and bag on the way.  She would have to thank Giles later.  For once, he had perfect timing.

A short time later

    "So what's the scoop?  Who's out to end the world this time?" Buffy asked as she breezed into the living room, Riley following behind.  By the way that Riley stood apart, hands jammed deep into his pockets and shoulders hunched, Giles knew that they had been fighting.

    "The, ah, scoop," he quickly began from his place by the television, the pacing having begun minutes earlier, "is that Willow and I have finished the translation and preparation of the spell."

    "The Spell?" Xander cut in quickly.  "As in The Spell to make Sunnydale boring?" he asked eagerly.

    Sighing, Giles glared at the boy before turning to the others.  "Yes.  The spell that will destroy the door to Hell."

    "Cool," Oz agreed quietly with a small nod.

    "So what's the plan?" Riley asked, making the obvious switch to soldier mode as he awaited his instructions.

    "Well..."

    "We get to do the spell tomorrow night!" Willow eagerly interrupted, her eyes shining as she slid to the edge of the couch.  "Everything will be ready and Giles, Anya, and I should be able to pull-"

    "Why do I have to help?" Anya quickly interrupted, pouting as she crossed her arms stubbornly over her chest.

    "Ah... because we have a better chance of succeeding with more magical strength," Giles replied quietly, as though speaking with a child.

    "So why not Willow's strange friend, Tara?" Anya pouted.

    "Tara's in DC right now," Willow explained apologetically.

    "And besides," Xander interrupted as he glared at his wife, "this is a part of that whole helping friends..."

    "So how about the rest of us?" Buffy asked, speaking over Xander's patient explanation to his wife.  "Can we help with anything?"

    "Well," Giles shrugged, "seeing as how this is something that many here in Sunnydale would be opposed to if they found out, it may not be a bad idea to have some... protection," he nodded, locking eyes with his Slayer.  What went unspoken between the two was that if someone was indeed stalking Buffy, if her feelings were correct, some guards would be a very wise decision.

    "So Giles, Willow, and Anya casting the spell," Buffy surmised, "and Xander, Oz, Riley, and myself keeping a perimeter."

    "And I think I can hook us up with some gear," Riley added, already scribbling a list of things that they would need.

    Nodding at his group of friends, Xander felt one of his wacky grins appear.  "So, where are we holding this shindig?" he asked innocently.

    "The door to hell itself," Giles replied grimly.  "The remains of the high school library..."

    Sighing, Buffy felt the cool night air wash over her, blowing her earlier anger away as she reached over and took Riley's hand in her own, smiling shyly at him.  The group had made the rest of the plans, deciding to meet up at 9pm, a little after sunset, at the remains of the high school.  It was funny, for in all of the time since they had, well, blown it up, the school had been left exactly as is -- a charred reminder of sorts to the community that sometimes, even days in Sunnydale weren't safe.  But by this time tomorrow, a little after midnight, it would be a lot safer... and she might actually have a chance for a life.  "It really means a lot to you -- me going to this appointment tomorrow, doesn't it?" Buffy asked quietly, looking at the dark street that was spread out before them.

    "Yes, it does," Riley replied as he squeezed her hand gently.

    Sighing, Buffy slowly nodded her head.  Her life had always been filled with sacrifices made for her friends -- why stop now?  "Then I'll go," she announced.  "But not because I want to," she quickly countered.  "I'll go because I love you," she whispered as he tugged on her hand gently, turning her towards him.

    "Thank you," he whispered as he bent low and touched his lips to her own.  As long as they were together, she could get through anything.

The next day

    Biting back tears, Buffy walked down the road as if in a trance, not really seeing anything.  A part of her wanted to curl up into a little ball and let the world dissolve around her.  Another part wanted her to go into a wild frenzy of anger and hatred, screaming, scratching and tearing at herself for she knew what caused this hurt -- this agony of heart and mind.

    She could still remember the scratchy feeling of the hospital gown against her soft skin as she waited for the doctor to return.  God how she hated hospitals... but then he had returned and his sad frown had been anything but reassuring.

    "I've never seen anyone so healthy and in such good shape," he began, not surprising her.  After all, she was the Slayer... the Chosen One.

    "So everything's fine?" she asked, knowing the response before he even shuffled over and settled heavily into a chair, seeming to carry the weight of the world upon his shoulders.

    "I'm afraid not," he sighed as he pinched the bridge of his nose.  "I hate having to do this with those so young," he began quietly, finally meeting her eyes as Buffy's heart turned cold, "but... well, surely you knew something was wrong when you hadn't had a cycle in so many years..."

    "Since I was eighteen... before that," Buffy added quietly as she began to shut down inside.

    "Yes, well... I don't quite understand all of the readings and findings, but I do know one thing for certain-"

    "I can't have kids," Buffy whispered as a single tear burned at the corner of her eye, repeating to the empty street around her what the doctor had said.  And somehow, she knew that being the Chosen One was the reason -- which was why part of her wanted to rip the Slayer right out of her body -- to make her right once again.  Then again, there was another part of her that wanted the comfort of something familiar.  Glancing up, Buffy was half surprised to find herself on her mother's doorstep.  At least she knew what part of her had won.

    Not even bothering to knock this time, Buffy pushed the door open and stepped silently into her house... their house.  Sighing, she was about to call out when her mother's voice broke angrily through the quiet stillness.  Curious despite herself, Buffy moved on silent feet to the open study door and stood just out of sight.

    "Why didn't you tell me that you were in touch with him?" Buffy's mom yelled angrily, causing Buffy to wince.  She didn't think that she had ever heard her mom sound so mad.  "More importantly, why didn't you tell Buffy?!"

    Surprised that this conversation seemed to revolve around her, Buffy heard Giles exhale loudly before there was a whoosh of air as he must have settled in an armchair.  "Joyce, I don't know what you're-"

    "Don't lie to me Rupert," Joyce warned, her voice dropping.  "Whatever you do, don't do that -- I've dealt with that enough already!"

    Buffy really winced at that one and almost slipped away from the door, not wanting to hear more that would add to her misery -- until her mom continued.

    "That... that monster, Angel called here earlier!" Joyce cried shrilly.  "I didn't even have a chance to say anything before he asked if he should come here..."

    The rest of her mother's words were lost to Buffy as the mention of Angel's name brought angry tears to her eyes.  She couldn't deal with that on top of everything else.  Not that.  She was already furious at the world for what had been done to her, for what being the Chosen One had taken from her -- now her hurt turned into an anger that found focus.  Her face stormy, Buffy stomped into the room, ignoring her mom as her hard eyes locked onto Giles.  "Why did Angel call here?" she asked quietly, her voice low and dangerous as her face was a mask of anger.

    Surprised, Giles opened and closed his mouth for a moment as he reeled in surprise and confusion at her sudden arrival at the most inopportune of times.  "We.. we've been in contact with each other since he left," Giles stuttered, visibly shaken by her anger.

    "Which time?" Buffy asked bitterly as she shrugged off her mother's hand.

    "But... he.. he wants to help-"

    "NO!!" Buffy snapped, her anger seeping out of every pore.  "He left me -- us," she quickly corrected, "We don't need his help!" she hissed as she glared at her Watcher.  Slowly, she began to advance on the man that she loved as a father.  "Promise me that you will NOT call him!" she ordered, leaning down until they were nose to nose.  She knew that she was being unreasonable -- frightening her mother even -- but she was past the point of caring.  She loved Angel with all of her heart, relentlessly, and he had walked out on her time and time again -- shattering her heart until Riley was slowly able to put back the pieces.  She was getting married soon and she knew that Angel's return would destroy everything -- and her heart couldn't take him leaving -- not again.  And now, the immortal vampire represented everything that she couldn't have -- everything that she couldn't give Riley.  He would live forever while they died.

    "I promise," Giles whispered quietly as his Slayer stood abruptly and stiffly walked away.  He never saw the tears that burned in her eyes.  After all, a Slayer wasn't allowed to cry.

That night

    Avoiding Riley's eyes, Buffy slowly walked around the remains of the library, a very large gun clutched in her small hands.  She had avoided everyone all day, even Riley and Willow, telling no one about her doctor's visit and keeping the hurt locked up inside.  Sometimes it was just easier that way.  Even now she could feel their eyes on her as she moved along the perimeter.  She knew that eventually she'd have to spill, but first there were more important things to worry about -- like the reason that they were there tonight.

    The group had met as planned, Riley bringing a score of nasty looking guns while Buffy came with supplies of sharpened stakes.  Quickly she, Riley, Xander, and Oz had spread out, evenly spacing themselves in a circle around Giles, Willow, and Anya.  By the looks of it they were ready to take on whatever the Hellmouth threw their way -- usually something nasty.

    "Hey, you okay?"

    Tensing slightly, Buffy turned and met Riley's worried eyes.  "Hey Soldier, don't you have a post that you're neglecting?" she asked quietly, trying to make her voice light and failing miserably.

    "Buffy-"

    "Listen, now's not the place," she interrupted, raising her hand as she pleaded with him with her eyes.

    Sighing, Riley saw the pain and confusion hidden there and nodded slowly.  "Okay, but..." he trailed off as Buffy swiveled on her heels, her gun lowering into position as her finger tightened on the trigger.  A second later, two men stepped into the room, finally getting everyone's attention.

    The men were older, about Giles' age, and decked out in dark suits that rustled as they moved.  But it was the one on the left with white hair and a neatly trimmed beard that caught Buffy's attention -- especially as his eyes locked with her own.  "Who are you and what do you want?" Buffy asked, sensing Riley step beside her, his own gun raised.

    "I am James Longchamp the Third," the man responded in a thick British accent that reeked of the Watcher's Council.  "Surely Mister Giles has mentioned me?" he continued pointedly as all eyes turned to the ex-Watcher.

    "Giles?" Buffy prompted, her voice betraying her cold and hurt questioning.

    "The Watcher's Council telephoned shortly before your birthday," Giles haltingly explained, frowning at the accusing note in his Slayer's voice.  First this morning and now this.. his track record was certainly taking a fast beating.  "I believe that the Watcher's Council have been... ah, watching you."

    At his choice of words, Buffy felt a wry, cold and sarcastic smile lift her lips.  "And now?" she asked, nodding at Longchamp.  "Get bored with the show?" she continued sarcastically.

    "No.  We have come to help," Longchamp responded simply as he motioned his silent sidekick forward.  Nodding, they slipped out of their suit coats and rolled up their shirtsleeves.

    Sighing, Buffy felt everyone's questioning eyes upon her.  Shrugging, she lowered her gun and turned away.  "The more the merrier -- but any wrong moves and you're on the next plane to England," she called over her shoulder as she cocked her gun for effect, the hollow noise ringing throughout the ruinous room.

    With that, the preparations continued and Buffy's mind drifted back to the depressing topic of her life.  She truly did love Riley and wanted a normal life more than anything -- and if this spell succeeded then she may finally get that chance... but she wasn't normal.  Somehow the Slayer in her had taken away -- had destroyed -- her ability to have children.  She knew that Riley loved her, but would she be enough for him?  Now she couldn't even give him kids -- something that she knew that Riley wwanted.  Shaking her head, Buffy found a small hope and let if lift her.  Riley made her feel like a normal girl and with him, there was hope.

    Suddenly, Buffy's attention was drawn towards the center of the room.  Above where the door, albeit closed, to Hell sat, there lay a large crack in the floor.  Surrounding that was a circle of candles that lit the room with a flickering, ghostly light.  Within that circle sat Giles, Willow, Anya, and the two Watchers.  All sat with their legs crossed before them, their eyes closed as they chanted quietly.  Captivated, Buffy watched as a fine red mist began to seep from the crack, the voices of the spellcasters rising in intensity and pitch.

    Tearing her eyes away from the sight, Buffy saw that the others were watching with the same intensity as she -- and that's when she noticed the dark shadows moving behind Xander.  "XANDER!!" she screamed in warning as chaos seemed to erupt around them.  Gasping, Buffy watched as hordes of vampires seemed to appear out of the shadows and swarm her friends.

    "We're under attack!!" she heard Riley yell above the din.  Turning, Buffy was about to jump into action to help her friends when a sharp pain erupted in her side, her gun flying from her hands as she flew to the ground.  Grunting, Buffy looked up in time to catch another sharp kick, this one in the ribs that sent her gasping for breath.  Then, as she felt a hand tangle in her hair, Buffy swept her fist back and nailed her assailant in the face, his grip falling loose.

    "That was not very nice," she gasped as she jumped to her feet, glaring at a large vampires who was holding a very broken nose.  Then, before he could react, Buffy quickly launched a powerful kick at him that sent the creep to his knees.  A second later and he was dust.  Smiling grimly, Buffy had time to see that everyone seemed to be holding their own for the moment as the chanting continued, the Spellcasters unaware of the battle around them -- and then three new vampires were upon her.  "My lucky night," she grunted as she became lost to the fight.  A few minutes later, opponentless once again, Buffy swiveled at the sound of claws on the shattered tile behind her.  There stood a nasty looking demon, unlike any that she had ever seen before, with black clawed feet, wicked looking talons for fingers, and fiery red eyes that glared above a mouth of fangs.  "Ooh, bet you don't date much," she smirked as two vampires flaked the demon on each side, hissing angrily.

    "Slayer," the demon growled, its talons clicking against each other, "I've been watching you."

    "Yeah, you and everyone else in this town!" Buffy bit back sarcastically.  "I mean really, what is up with this sudden fascination with my life?!" she cried out as the vampires rushed her.

    "The spell must not be allowed to be completed!" Buffy dimly heard the demon roar before he too began to advance.  Sighing, she quickly ducked a punch and deflected a kick before jumping out of reach of the demon's claws.  "Yeah, just my night," was her sighed response.

    Panting, Riley watched as the last of his opponents disappeared in a cloud of dust.  "I must be getting too old for this," he gasped, trying to catch his breath as he quickly surveyed the room.  Both Xander and Oz had paired up sometime during the fight and were taking on three determined vampires.  Giles, Willow, and the others seemed untouched, the chanting now a steadily increasing roar as the room seemed to be covered in the red mist.  Even worse, Riley could now hear anguished screams and horrible noises that could only be coming from beyond the doorway in Hell itself.  If he didn't know better, Riley would think that they were reopening the door to Hell instead of erasing it forever.  Grimacing, he was about to go and help the guys when he saw a flurry of movement through the red mist, just outside the circle of flickering candles.

    "Buffy," he whispered quietly as he quickly scooped up the first stake that he could find and moved across the room.  As he got closer, he saw that his love was not taking on one vampire, but four and a very large Amarra demon to boot -- it had taken three squads from the Initiative to take down one of those demons -- and not everyone had lived through the capture.  Frowning, he quickly pushed thoughts of the Initiative away as he reached the fight.  Seeing a vamp go for Buffy's back, Riley quickly threw himself at the guy and tackled him to the ground.  Grunting, he caught Buffy's eyes once before he was quickly immersed in the fight.  A few minutes and many bruises later, Riley got a lucky break as he feinted left and then darted forward, pushing his stake through the vampire's chest with all of his might.  For a second, he was afraid that he had missed the heart -- until he was blessed with a shower of dust.

    Grinning, Riley climbed to his feet and locked eyes with Buffy.  The Amarra demon was no where in sight and only one of her vampire opponents remained.  Smiling, he took a step forward when he saw Buffy's eyes widen in horror.

    "No, RILEY!!" she screamed as he felt a sharp pain tear through the middle of his back and explode out through his chest.  Gasping, he felt his smile slip as he looked down to see one of their own sharpened wooden stakes protruding from a bloody hole in his chest above his heart.

    "Buffy?" he questioned, blood filling his mouth as he met her beautiful eyes -- and then he felt the stake being pulled back out as he slid to the ground.

    "RILEY!!" Buffy screamed, her eyes locked on his unseeing brown eyes, the demon standing behind him, a bloody stake in hand.  By the location of the bloody hole, Buffy knew that Riley was dead before he even hit the ground.  Riley was dead...

    "Slayer," the demon hissed as it threw the stake aside and began advancing on her.

    In that moment, Buffy saw her world turn red as her heart turned to ice.  Slamming a hand back, Buffy snapped the remaining vampire's neck in one blow, a cloud of ash surrounding her as she met the demon's advance.  "Bad move," she whispered as she went into a flurry of kicks and punches.  Earlier, the two had seemed evenly matched.  Now, with revenge and hatred fueling her, the demon was no match.  In the end, it only managed to get in one slice on her arm with his talons before a powerful kick sent him flying halfway across the room.  Standing straight, Buffy advanced on the demon, stalking across the room as she picked up her unused gun.  Without even looking, she turned the gun to its highest setting before stopping before the bloody demon.  This time there were no jokes -- no sarcastic remarks as the Slayer lifted the gun and rested the tip against the demon's forehead.  As its eyes widened, Buffy pulled the trigger, her face a cold mask, and ended its life in an explosion of hellish light.

    And then the gun slipped from her fingers and clattered to the hard ground, the spell broken.  Blinking back tears, Buffy finally began to feel once again as she turned and as her eyes locked on Riley's unmoving figure.  As quiet sobs began to tear at her, Buffy felt her entire world collapse around her as she shuffled to her love's side and dropped to her knees, the material of her black pants immediately soaking up the pool of blood that surrounded his body.  Idly, she sensed movement around her as she gently reached forward, pulling him towards her until his head was cradled in her lap.  As tears stung at her eyes, Buffy gently reached forward and closed his beautiful eyes for the last time.

    Just then, the room was bathed in a blinding bright light, the voices in Hell screaming their fury as the doorway to Hell was forever erased from Sunnydale.  Exhausted, the spellcasters slumped forward, as if their marionette strings had been cut, panting for breath.  The first to move was Willow, her tired eyes shining with excitement as she finally sat up and searched for her friends.  But it was the soft sobs from behind her that finally alerted her that all was not as it should be.

    "Buffy?" she asked quietly, turning slowly -- and stopping at what she saw.  "Oh no," she whispered, her eyes filling with tears.  There, sitting beside her, was her best friend, her face wet with tears and her hair disheveled.  But more importantly, spread out before her lay Riley, his shirt soaked with blood and his face white.  Willow knew the truth even as Oz pulled her gently to her feet and held her in his arms.  "Oh no," Willow whispered again as she watched Buffy gently caress Riley's face, blood staining her hands as she whispered quietly to her love.  Slowly, Willow watched as Xander knelt beside Buffy, touching her shoulder gently as she shook him away.

    Buffy was lost to her own tormented world and her own private hell as her friends gathered around her.  "I'm so sorry," she whispered as the tears coursed down her cheeks unnoticed.  "I'm sorry that I failed you -- I endangered you.. I couldn't protect you.. I'm so sorry," she kept whispering as she remembered his beautiful smile, their first kiss, the first time that they made love, his proposal...

    "Just like Pauletta," Longchamp muttered, his words finally breaking through the blanket of grief that shrouded the room, eyeing the tears on the Slayer's face with disdain and pity.

    Pulling out of her trance, Buffy looked blankly at her friends -- the tears in Willow's eyes, the blood and torn clothing of Xander and Oz and the grief of her Watcher as he took Xander's place beside her.  "What?" Buffy whispered dimly, working through her hazy pain.

    "You're not supposed to live so long that things other than slaying begin to occupy your thoughts," Longchamp continued as the girl's eyes finally focused on him.  "Only one other as good as you has ever reached this point: Pauletta."

    "I don't understand," Buffy whispered as her tears began to clear.

    Nodding, Longchamp clasped his hands behind him.  "Like you, Pauletta too began to lose sight of her duty as she got older," he explained.  "And she too fell in love -- but she didn't realize that when you're the Chosen One, you're either the Slayer or dead," he said flatly, his eyes glittering dangerously under the flickering of the candle light.  "There are no other options."

    Shaking her head, Buffy felt her grief turn to anger as once more the tears filled her eyes -- hearing what she had always feared but never wanted to believe.  "But it's MY LIFE!!" she protested, beating a fist against her chest.

    "No," Longchamp cut in sharply, "you're the Slayer.  The world needs a Slayer, and if a Slayer is not doing her duties then she must be destroyed so that another can take her place," he said quietly, his voice like ice as the Slayer slowly shook her head in denial, the room silent as all stood in shock.  It was obvious that everything in the girl was desperately trying to fight against his words.  Sighing, he quickly changed tactics.  "Haven't you noticed the changes in yourself during the last few years?" he prompted.  As she slowly turned her eyes away, everyone in the room had her answer.  "Child, your body stopped aging on your eighteenth birthday," he whispered, finally dropping the bombshell.  "You are still mortal and can be killed," he explained, her eyes locked on his, "but your body will no longer age.  You can live forever, if you're lucky.

    "This was Nature's way of creating the perfect Slayer, for you will become faster, stronger, and better with time... but the human mind cannot handle the gift for, obviously, there is no chance for a normal life," he nodded, sweeping his hand to include everyone that surrounded them, pointing out the hidden differences between her and her friends.  And as the Watcher's Council had indeed been watching the Slayer, he knew the final burden to add in.  "As I'm sure that you already know, this means that you will never be able to have children -- especially now," he stated, his eyes shifting to the dead young man as the girl winced and pulled back as though slapped, tears streaking down her cheeks.  "Everyone you love will grow old and die around you while you remain young and beautiful -- alone."

    Shaking her head, Buffy took in the man's words as her tears coursed down her cheeks.  This man had just single-handedly destroyed all of her hopes and dreams of the future and confirmed her worst nightmares.  She didn't even have the will to fight anymore.  "What.. what happened to Pauletta?" she asked dimly, her voice a mere whisper in the large room.

    "All that she loved aged while she never did -- she went insane and had to be destroyed," he replied as Buffy winced once again, her head turning away as her eyes locked once again on the body of the dead boy.  Smiling slightly, Longchamp saw that everyone was lost in shock, their eyes locked on the Slayer as they unconsciously drew away from her -- her pain so great that it was almost too much to witness.  Nodding, he slowly reached into his suit pocket.  "Because of Pauletta the Watcher's Council has set a precedence: if a Slayer should survive until her twenty-second birthday she must be destroyed," he whispered as he smoothly pulled out his gun and leveled it at the girl's head.  Frozen by shock, no one moved as the girl slowly turned to meet his eyes, the hollow pain making him cringe.  "I'm truly sorry," he muttered as his finger pulled the trigger and the world erupted in sound and movement.

    Breaking free from their trances, both Xander and Giles made a desperate leap for the gun as two shots seemed to explode around them.  Amazed, Willow's scream was caught in her throat as Buffy rolled so quickly away from the gun that she was a blur of movement that narrowly escaped the slug that ripped into the floor beside her, showering her in chips of stone.  Simultaneously, another bullet ripped through Longchamp's heart, sending him to the ground in a spray of blood.

    As Buffy finished her roll to her feet, looking like a deer caught in a car's headlights, ready to bolt, she caught movement as the other watcher stepped from the shadows.  "I never did believe that violence was the answer," Edward shrugged as everyone turned towards him, calmly lowering his smoking pistol.  "But a Slayer is needed," he added before the girl turned and bolted from the room so quickly that there was no hope of ever following.

    "BUFFY!!" Willow screamed at her friend's retreating back, tears coursing down her cheeks.  Shaking her head, Willow turned as sobs wracked her small form and buried her face in Oz's shoulder.  "Buffy..."

    Slowly, the sun crept over the horizon, pouring its golden light on a new world.  As its warmth spread over the houses of Sunnydale, one dark mansion's tightly closed windows kept the brightness at bay, leaving the interior like a cold and dusty tomb.  Alone, Buffy curled into a ball on the middle of the floor of the abandoned living room, her arms wrapped tightly around herself as the tears poured down her cheeks.  She didn't know how long she had been there.. her mind was a blank and all she remembered was running and running faster until the world was a dark blur to the only place she knew where to run.  But he wasn't here this time to comfort her, just as he hadn't been for so many years... and she could never outrun her memories.

    "Buffy?" Riley questioned as blood filled his mouth.

    "Oh God no," Buffy moaned, willing the images away as the tears poured down her cold cheeks.

    "Buffy," Riley whispered, "I love you -- all of you.  Even the Slayer side... Nothing is more important to me than you and I'll stand by you through it all and will make it our sacred duty, together..."

    "But it wasn't your duty -- it was mine," she protested to the empty mansion as an ache seemed to filter out from her heart.  With her words came a dark realization.  "You're dead because of me," she sobbed as a new wave of pictures flooded her mind.  She was here, in this very room, all those years ago.  The door to Hell had just been opened and she was just about to destroy Angelus when she saw the change come over him and knew that her love, her Angel, was standing before her once again.  She had destroyed him by bringing forth Angelus, had killed Jenny Calendar as a result, and now, after months of torture she had him again... and she killed him.  With her own hand, when he trusted her most and was so lost and confused, so vulnerable, she had run him through and sent him to Hell.  Now she had done the same by loving Riley.  Just by loving him she had placed him in this position.

    Before, Buffy had run away from the hurt and the pain -- from the reminder of what she had done by trying to start a new life.  This time, she knew that there would be no new life.  Just by knowing her, people got dead -- she couldn't stay or the same would happen to everyone that she loved in Sunnydale.  But there must always be a Slayer.

    Sitting up, Buffy realized that she had her hand wrapped around the hilt of the knife that she had used to almost kill Faith all of those years ago.  Dimly, she now remembered grabbing it from its hiding place during her mad dash from the world.  Holding it up, Buffy became captivated by the sharp glinting of light off of the stained blade.  There was so much pain in her life -- so much pain since she had become the Chosen One -- since she had learned of her destiny.  When she was little, she had wanted to be beautiful and popular, go to school, marry the love of her life and somehow balance a job and kids -- be happy like her parents.  But then Merrick had entered her life and her dreams were shattered.  So many people that she had grown up with had died that night -- she stood by and watched Merrick be killed -- it was all her fault because all she wanted was her nice normal life and didn't want to be the Slayer that the world needed her to be.  And then there was the divorce as her perfect family was destroyed.  The only good that came out of it was her friends, the Scooby Gang... but how many times had they barely avoided death because of her?  Because they were her friends and she let them help her?  And Angel... God she had loved him -- but she had destroyed him as well and he couldn't love her after that.  And then Riley... shaking her head, Buffy felt the tears course down her cheek before splattering on the blade.  He was her one chance for normalcy -- but in time that wouldn't have even lasted because she was the Slayer -- and everyone and everything that she touched died.

    "But it's MY LIFE!!" she protested, beating a fist against her chest.

    "No, you're the Slayer... if a Slayer is not doing her duties then she must be destroyed so another can take her place."

    Sighing, Buffy knew what she must do as she slowly lifted the long knife and gripped the handle firmly with both hands, the blade aimed at her heart.  She was finally calm, her hands steady -- until Riley's beautiful eyes flashed in her mind's eye -- that and his unmoving body.  "I never said goodbye," she whispered, the tears coursing down her cheek as she tried to steady her hand, "because I didn't know you were leaving," she continued as both Riley and Angel seemed to appear, standing before her.  Choking back a sob, Buffy quickly shook her head as she tore her eyes away from their images and turned back to the quivering knife.  "I didn't know until you were already gone," she gasped as she plunged the knife forward with all of her might...

    ... And pulled her hand at the last second so that the long blade plunged deeply into her side.  Screaming in pain, Buffy looked down in horrified amazement as her own dark blood immediately soaked through the side of her thin shirt.  "Oh God," she cried as she wrapped her shaky hands, slick with her own blood, around the hilt once again.  Hissing, she pulled the blade out and dropped it to the ground as she pressed her hands tightly against the wound.  Sobbing, she painfully lay down on the cold ground and curled into a tight ball as she became lost in her pain -- both mental and physical.

    I don't even deserve to die....

    Sighing, Edward slowly unlocked his car door, squinting under the bright California sunshine.  "Soon, this place will be far behind me," he sighed in relief as the door finally clicked open.  Reaching in, he quickly popped the trunk and moved around behind the car, grunting as he lifted his heavy suitcase into the large space.  Pushing it back, he quickly slammed the trunk shut, looked once more at his hotel that looked out over the now-quiet town of Sunnydale, and then walked back towards his door, gravel crunching beneath his feet.

    Frowning, he slowly settled into the driver's seat and slid his key into the ignition, the car roaring to life.  But just as he put the car into drive, the passenger door beside him clicked open as a young woman slid in beside him.  Surprised, Edward stared in shock at the girl beside him -- she looked horrible.  In the few days that she had been missing Buffy Summers looked as though she had eaten nothing, her skin pale and dark rings lining her eyes.  And that wasn't the most disturbing thing -- the girl looked dead as there was no emotion in her at all.  "Miss Summers?" he finally asked quietly, noting that she looked at nothing but the empty road before them.

    For a moment there was silence and Edward was afraid that she hadn't heard -- until she nodded slightly, never looking his way.  "The world needs a Slayer," she whispered hollowly.

    Nodding, Edward finally understood as he pulled out of the parking lot and onto the highway beyond.  As they left Sunnydale behind, Buffy Summers never once looked back.  The world had its Slayer and only one girl was sacrificed in the process.  For many it was a small price to pay.  For those that loved Buffy Summers, it was catastrophic.

Do you know what it's like to be The Chosen One?

I do.

It means being the One Chosen to fight...
Fight for the Cause that was made to be yours.
Fight for everything you hold dear to you -- everything you love.
Fight for those that you will never meet -- those you will never know.
Fight against an evil so tangible that you know it's what nightmares are really made of.

Chosen to be immersed in death...
Death so thick that it chokes your every breath.
Death so prevalent that you begin to enjoy the killing.

Death so evident that you begin to kill your own humanity.
Death that makes you a killer like those you destroy.

Chosen to never have a normal life...
To never gain back the innocence that you lost.
To never go back to not knowing about the evil that permeates our world.
To never go back to carefree times with friends where immortality seems so real and possible.
To never be able to use whatever degree you gain.
To never go back to being someone's daughter.
To never being able to be someone's mother... or wife.
To never knowing love for fear of having that love destroyed by the evil that you hunt.
To being so alone when surrounded by so many.

It means being the One Chosen to die...

I've died once already for this cause that was not mine -- for the cause that I didn't want.  I never asked to be  the Chosen One -- I never asked to say goodbye to my hopes and dreams for the future...

I didn't ask to be The Slayer...

I've died once already for this cause... and I can't help but wonder when the faceless mask of Death will hunt me down again... 

Find me... 

Destroy me...