::: Martians -- An Scientific Analysis :::

by Sam Sternberg <samster@istar.ca>
KGB UFO Disinformatsiya Operative*

Recent postings to the newphysics list have raised the possibility
that aliens may be directing human culture. If this is true can
we begin to deduce what aims may be involved? Without accepting
or rejecting claims about UFO's I have attempted to examine the
evidence accepted by most believers in the UFO phenomenon.

The real issue is, can any useful information about alien culture
be derived from the UFO sightings to date? I would like to take a
crack at that question.

My analysis suggests that alien culture is likely to resemble an
extreme form of semi-libertarian anarcho buddhism, lived in a
culture resembling US Capitalism of the late nineteen fifties.
My startling conclusion is based on the following "facts".


Fact 1 - Nearly every photo and sighting report shows differing
ship designs.

Conclusion A:

The space ship industry is design oriented and may even have a
program of regular design changes for esthetic purposes, perhaps
along lines similar to our model year changes. There may even
be factors of economic competition in sales driving the design
changes, which suggests a possible sort of alien capitalism.

Conclusion B:

The technology underlying space travel permits a vast of array of
designs to function effectively, and this implies that energy
limitations are at most modest and generally can be ignored as a
design issue. This suggests that the greenhouse effect doesn't
trouble little green men.


Fact 2 - Many interested persons believe there have been crashes
of UFO's

Conclusion A:

Since an advanced technological civilization could easily build
devices to prevent crashes, we are seeing a culture or cultures
which value freedom of choice over personal safety, and they have
designed ships which can be crashed and can take the lives of
operators and passengers. Aliens are the ultimate libertarians.

Conclusion B:

Ambulance and police services are not considered important, so
crash victims are allowed to remain where they fall. Clearly
the insurance industry is non existent, and medical care is
strictly a personal issue. Policing as we know it is also not
a current alien practice.

Conclusion C:

Alternative 1 - Alien religious beliefs do not include an interest
in rituals like burial of their dead. Since burial
rites serve the interests of family and community
as well as public health interests, aliens may be
technological products rather than biological
offspring.

Alternative 2 - Aliens do not have religious beliefs of the kind we
generally practice. Instead they hold buddist type
feelings that the body is a mere shell which must
eventually be abandoned.

Alternative 3 - Budgetary considerations have lead to abandonment
of crash victims; or at least those on remote sites.

Alternative 4 - Aliens refuse to pay taxes in support of what we
consider to be essential public services.


Fact 3 - Many persons claim to have witnessed abductions or have
been abducted and some have returned to tell about it.

Conclusion A:

Alternative 1 - Aliens are very slow learners and that's why they
have taken so many samples.

Alternative 2 - alien school children are given hands on learning
experiences on a regular basis.

Alternative 3 - the earth is a sort of fish and game preserve, and
aliens are required to throw back any specimen with
a IQ of less than a minimun amount. This would
explain why most abductees that have returned are
raving loonies with no know intellectual attainments.

Maybe they are keeping all the scientists and
intellectuals they abduct. Given this possible
interest in intellectualls, I have sent letters to
all groups claiming regular contact with aliens and
personally suggest that Steve Schwartz would be a
great candidate for abduction, since he knows more
about this planet than anyone else since the death
of Christ.


Fact 3 - Most images of aliens indicate that they have swollen heads

Conclusion:

Alternative 1 - Steve Schwartz is an alien and thats why he hasn't
been abducted.

Alternative 2 - Space travel is mind expanding.


Lastly; the oldest good reference to a sighting I know of appears
in a collection of Tibetan Buddist stories dating from the the
13th century. Most of these stories are about recognized historical
persons in Tibetan History. In one story a king asks a Senior Monk
what the constantly seen strings of lights that speed across the sky
are. These lights always move toward and away from the same high
peak. The monk tells him that they are the souls of the enlightened
bodisattvas who come and go from Shangrila.

So maybe aliens really are enlightened and its the poor alien
devotees on earth who have yet to grok the simple truth that just
because one is enlightened doesn't mean you won't have travel
opportunities.

-Sam Sternberg

[* = this could be alien disinformation or more likely, given
Schwartz's beliefs about Sternberg; this is KGB disinformation
funnelled thru the Slavic networks.]