Can I Have My Money Please???...July 5, 1999

Can I Have My Money Please???...July 5, 1999

It was 9:30 this morning. I was freshly bathed, the dogs were out for their usual morning stroll, I had my second or third cup of coffee in hand. I was waiting. I was waiting as I have been waiting this time almost every morning for over three weeks. I was waiting for the mailman to bring me my mail. In my mail, I hoped, as I have hoped for the last three weeks now, that my major service provider had finally processed my invoices and sent me a cheque for a very substantial amount of money. It was much needed money. I was hungry, the dogs were going to be hungry, the cats were going to be hungry, I was going to be stranded at home with no gas in my car, and the electricity was going to be cut off. Then I heard the clomp, clomp, clomp of work boots on my step, the creek of the mailbox opening, and the clang of the mailbox being shut. I sat and waited, for a few minutes more, saying a prayer to the spirit guides that today was going to be the day.

It was not. I worked myself up, as I have worked myself up for over three weeks now, over a...

plastic wrapped catalogue.

At least there was no additional bill to add to the burgeoning unpaid bill pile on my kitchen table.

I proceeded to contact another service provider in hopes that the woman in processing would finally be back from her mysterious hiatus. She had been on my missing list for a couple weeks now, and usually she can cut me a cheque faster than a hot knife through cream cheese. I was told she was in hospital, and they did not know when she would be back. I staved off a panic attack as thoughts too numerous to mention were racing through my weary mind: "how am I going to work this week?", "how am I going to eat?", "how am I going to cover the cheque Ms. Crabtree cashed for me so that I do not have to suffer unbearable wraths?".

I enjoy being self employed for its ability to give me freedom when I need it, and for not having to be abused by some uneducated overseer. However,living from hand to mouth, robbing Peter to pay Paul, has taken its toll. The stress has had an effect on my physical and mental health. I have made unanswered pleas to banks and government agencies for capitol. Sitting for weeks at a time waiting for money I earned, to me is financial abuse. I continue solely because I feel the work I do with the youth is worthwhile, and it is spiritually fulfilling to me. If I were in it for the money, I would have quit before I ever began.

Late this afternoon, I received a call form a social worker with the service provider I phoned this morning.

"Guess what I have?", she asked.

"A cheque?", I asked, trying not to sound desperate, but not quite succeeding.

"Yes.", she answered.

I can eat tomorrow. I can drive tomorrow. I can work tomorrow, knowing I will have activity money for my clients. Reekie, Moo, Will and Gull will have full bellies.

Thank you spirits...I knew you would look out for me.

...Blessed Be