On Love: The Spiritual Component, Part II....August 17, 1999
The Goddess and I were quite awestruck over the incident involving the Raven feather. While we had been becoming accustomed to knowing what the other was thinking, finishing each other's sentences, and picking up the phone to call the other at the same time, the Raven feather symbolized a deeply spiritual connection; it became an indication that our souls were communicating with each other, in a method transcending time, space, and conscious awareness. It was a divine experience to say the least. We were to come to know that it was only the first.
Recently in the mail I received a music club CD - Natalie Merchant's Ophelia. It was an instance where I neglected to send the card back on time to prevent automatic shippment. Having possessed her Tigerlily CD, and rarely listening to it, I was first compelled to send the newest CD back, as I usually do in such circumstances. Nevertheless, I felt another, unexplainable desire to keep it. Wanting to investigate the message of my inner voice, I kept it.
It was merely after listening to the first track, the title track, that I knew why I was meant to have this CD. The beautifully haunting music provoked my spirit, and the lyrics described almost verbatim my vision of The Goddess, in spirit, in body, in mind. Listening to the song Ophelia was and will forever be an ethereal experience for me. It is like Natalie Merchant penned these lyrics with a vision of The Goddess in mind:
As the song faded out, I was dazed, paralyzed with contemplation and retrospection.Ophelia was a bride of god
a novice Carmelite
in sister cells
the cloister bells
tolled on her wedding nightOphelia was a rebel girl
a blue-stocking suffragette
who remedied society
between her cigarettesOphelia was the sweetheart
to a nation overnight
curvaceous thighs
vivacious eyes
love was at first sight,
love was at first sight...Ophelia was a demigoddess
in pre-war Babylon
so statuesque a silhouette
in black satin evening gownOphelia was the mistress to
a Vegas gambling man
Signora Ophelia Maraschina
mafia courtesanOphelia was a circus queen
the female cannonball
projected through 5 flaming hoops
to wild and shocked applause,
to wild and shocked applause...Ophelia was a tempest cyclone
a Goddamn hurricane
your common sense
your best defense
lay wasted and in vainFor Ophelia know
your every woe
and every pain you've ever had
she'd sympathize, dry your eyes
and help you to forget,
and help you to forgetOphelia's mind went wandering
you wonder where she goes
in secret doors down corridors
she wanders them all alone,
all alone'That is my Goddess,' I thought to myself.
Awakening from my euphonic stupor, I played the song again, and again. I saw The Goddess, like Mother Theresa in her capacity for compassion and giving. I remembered the many times, with cigarette in hand, she would seem to solve all the world's problems in an afternoon of philosophising. I revisited the first time we made love, the fire of passion in her dark, enticing eyes, the warm, smooth softness of her enlacing thighs. I envisioned my Goddess, after I drove ten hours to be with her, seductively greeting me in a bath of moonlight, dressed only in a black silk evening gown. I recollected, in the throws of intense, wholly draining, heartracing, paralyzing, unprecedented orgasm, how she must have been a Brothel Queen in a past life. I mused in the secret pleasure she took in shocking her right wing conservative father with her ultra left wing views. I ruminated on her scorpion, emotionally charged temper, all too thirsty to devour my rationality when she is angered. I became tearful in her ability to exhume my own passions, my own ability to love, that lay buried beneath years of abuse and self loathing. Finally, and perhaps most of all, I extended deep appreciation to the spirits for allowing The Goddess and I to find ourselves again, after she spent too many years feeling isolated, alone, unwanted, and unloved.
It was a divine experience.
It was one that I could not wait to share with The Goddess. I found out that her soul already knew what I was going to attempt to convey to her. Just the day before, The Goddess was browsing in an art gallery. She happened upon the print of a painting that before she had little interest in. On this day, she was drawn to it, and felt an overwhelming, profound desire to purchase it. She decided she probably would, not really knowing what it was that made her want it so. She postponed the purchase for want of mulling it over with me first.
The painting was entitled Ophelia.
....Blessed Be
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