"Blair...." May 5, 2000

"Blair...." May 5, 2000

Somewhat Before Midnight...

....every time my eyes behold his presence, on just three occasions in the last decade, I feel a renewed sense of purpose; I am reminded that with souls like his in this world, it simply cannot be that terrible place.

He met me when I was six months old, and he was thirteen. He changed my shitty diapers. He lived with us during my formative years. I have always considered him my older brother.

He is a bridge to my youth with a unique perspective, and his remarkable, endless energy and zest for life offer me hope for the future.

Which is why, when I found out Blair was going to be in Ottawa last weekend, The Goddess and I wasted no time getting there to see him. The ten plus hour drive was worth it. The worry about Reekie and Moo being able to withstand the long drive, concern which was proved to be moot, was worth it. For The Goddess to finally meet him was worth it.

To be able to look into the vortex of his eyes, and grasp a shred of his wisdom, was indeed worth it.

We had a wonderful time. We dined and took in spirits with hedonistic tendencies. We talked seemingly forever.

And I feel wholly grounded once again, and The Goddess, of course, loved him.

He said I always needed a woman like her.

Thanks, bro.

We returned from our mecca to the Capital exhausted from the drive. We drove all night. Thankfully, the pups, sufficed with the oodles of treats and attention they received from Brianna, rested peacefully in the car for most of the drive. While The Goddess slept, I led the vehicle through time and space, surrounded by peace emanating from the souls around me and from within my being.

And once safely home, I was able to sleep, too. I slept the sleep of the dead, it seemed, not waking for hours. Though I was on the couch, I did not even hear Alyx knocking at the door. He had arrived in my car to retrieve his, having lent us the luxury mobile for our trip. I felt so ashamed that I did not have a chance to clean it out before he sped away.

I feel a snese of lonliness in having to leave Blair. I feel lonly for Alyx, whom I have not been able to see all week since our return. The Goddess has been stricken with intestinal flu, and therefore neither of us can be near him.

He has worn himself down to the point that his white cell count is negligible. When I heard this, I was wrought with frustration and anguish, exacerbated when he told me that he is not strong enough to have his next scheduled chemo treatment.

Be well, Blair.

Be well, Alyx.

....Blessed Be...