I shave my legs,
I sit down to pee.
Can justify any,
Shopping spree.

Don't go to a barber,
But a beauty salon.
Can get a massage,
Without a hard-on.

I can balance the checkbook,
Can pump my own gas.
Can talk to my friends,
About the size of my ass.

My beauty's a masterpiece,
And yes, it takes long.
At least I can admit,
To others when I'm wrong.

I don't drive in circles;
Not at any cost.
And I have no problem,
Admitting I'm lost.

I never forget,
An important date.
You gotta deal with it,
I'm usually late.

I don't watch movies,
With lots of gore.
Don't need instant replay,
To remember the score.

I won't lose my hair,
I don't get jock itch.
And just cause I'm assertive,
Don't call me a bitch.

Don't say to your friends,
Oh yeah, I can get her.
Only in your dreams, buddy,
I can do better!

Flowers are okay,
But diamonds are best.
And look at my face,
Not at my chest!

I don't have a problem,
With expressing my feelings.
I know when you're lying,
You look at the ceiling.

Don't call me a girl,
A babe or a chick.
I am a WOMAN,
Get it, you prick?!