The Besz Dispenser - This Week's Rant

For the week of October 16th, 1998

A plea for intelligence

Let's just drop the nice guy image I have for just a moment so I can complain a bit. I am sick and tired of this "banter" in the Letters to the Editor section and I'm going to turn into one of the writers and rant. You people are pissing me off, and I'm now going to fire back at you. Give you some of your own medicine. I have a column, might as well put it to good use.

So, let's start with the first one: Clubs. The clubs have now been whining for the last few weeks about how the Feds have taken their funding away, treating them like children who can't handle their allowances. Hey, guys, if it looks like a duck, and smells like a duck. . .

My advice to you is to grow up. I'd like the bank to give me credit cards up my ass, but that won't happen anytime soon, and for a good reason. I'd rather have Feds take the money and be responsible for funding than money going left, right, and centre without any real control. That being said, a note to the Feds: lighten the fuck up. I don't mind you pulling funding to control the flow, but the rules imposed right now are a little like the Third Reich here. Oh, and since your accounts are just as bad if not worse, maybe you should consider hiring an accountant or five. Couldn't hurt, guys.

Next comes the Engineers. Stop chanting to the Tool gods and listen up. I don't give two shits about your Tool, or the Tool-Bearers, or your cult. I don't care for one plain reason: in the end, we all get screwed by the government. Why can't you focus all your energy into something useful, like maybe fixing the country's loonie.

So what if you guys get good jobs almost the same instant that you graduate and will more than likely get paid more money then I ever will, but guess what? I'm still happy with myself, I still can go to my classes with a sense of purpose, and I still have a life.

There, now, note to arts students: get off your high horse, and stop fighting the engineers. Why don't you learn about your own faculty (the not knowing about Porcellino, our mascot, is a slap in the face which I'm also guilty of), rub the boar's nose for luck, and join forces with the engineers so we can make the world a better place by focusing on the greater good: forcing mathies to leave MC and bathe.

Finally, to everyone who's ever insulted the quality of Imprint, or has gotten their $4.10 from us: first, before you bitch and complain, I dare you to come down and do it yourself. Think the editing and proofreading sucks? Improve it. Come on down. Think you could take better pictures of your own ass in a blizzard? Prove it to us. And I have no clue what anyone can do with four dollars and ten cents. Besides maybe buying yourself a single burger, no fries or drink. Perhaps one beer.

But like I said, if all you can do is bitch and complain, I have no respect for you or your waste of air.

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