For the week of February 12th, 2000

Quit your bitching

Disclaimer: The following is a rant I had published in the newspaper that started it all, the Imprint. Now, this rant differs quite a bit from the actual one that ran in the paper that week (apparently, this was too insulting, and I was not actually "part of the staff" at the time). Granted, that last reason was vaild, but I liked the original. So, if anyone reads this one that came from the University of Waterloo in this time period, this is for you...

After a year-long hiatus from school, working my butt off to stay around you wonderful people, I have returned to the Imprint to continue my column. So, love me or hate me, I'm back. Miss me?

Yeah, figured you didn't. But I had to ask.

In any case, looking at the past few issues, I have seen that apparently, many of you find it hard to bring yourselves to look between the covers and read the stories, calling them "boring," "repetitive," and the like. You've even gone so far as to list "suggestions" for us to follow in order to liven up the paper and bring your readership back. Now, not to insult you, but when was the last time you've picked up a Globe and Mail newspaper and found it so incredibly exciting? If you have, then obviously you have something wrong with you.

Now, I don't know what you expect news to be presented, but we have to be unbiased and factual. We are not trying to be the Toronto Sun, or any other tabloid. We could do that, and I'm sure readership would likely double if not triple. We could have nudity every issue, sex and violence from cover to cover, and be something so rivetting, so engulfing, that we could become the student newspaper around the country - no - the world.

Or we could just tell you to fuck off.

Now, my first beef with you whiners is that: 1) most of you are in first year. You haven't even been reading this paper for very long, or enough to base an opinion on it. I've been at this paper for 3 years now, and you know what, this is the first time I've seen real news here. Yes, we had more readership, but we also had more internal politics than we knew what to do with. I'm glad we've become serious, and I hope that doesn't change; 2) if you're such journalistic maestros, come down here and do it. We don't just do Imprint here, we all do classes. I do classes and I work full time. We are doing the best we can with what we got and I might add we do a damn fine job of it. Who are you to complain about us? Do I go up to you and critique how you dance on a dance floor, or come up and call your clothing style worthy of a trash heap? This is our spare time, and we give you what we have. And instead of complaining about it, come down here and help out. See those words under the cover title, it says "student newspaper." So, quit your bitching and help out. Otherwise, shut up and move on.

Copyright © 2000 Besz Dispenser Publications, Inc.