For the week of March 17th, 2000

Life is bludgeoning me in my sleep

See, looking through the newspapers has left me uninspired. Completely. Sure, I could write about the 27-year old teacher sending love letters to a 13-year old student, but why? That's kinda disturbing,altho-ugh if you had asked me about that when I was 13, my response would have been something along the lines of "Lucky bastard, bet he got better marks than me." Why the apathy?

Because if I was 13 having a 27-year old sending me love letters and calling me a big stud - no way would I turn her in. No way. I would try to continue that through high school, too.

But I digress, because now at 21 that story kind of creeps me out. Instead, I wonder to myself why I left university. It was safe, you had money (sometimes) and when you were broke (most of the time) there were enough other people to mooch off of. Ahhhh, Imprint pizza. That saved my life more times then I care to remember. Now, I work full time and I'm still broke. Just a more stable source of money is coming in. I'm an old fart now.

No, I'm not. I'm just experiencing a part of life that I never had before on my own. Commuting. Bills. But the kicker is the business card. I have a business card. I've actually given this business card to old friends I've known for years, telling them to call me.

I can't believe I gave my friend my business card. What the hell is up with that? And the sad thing was that he never went to school so he's been working the whole time, and he has a business card, too. I have his with my other business cards of friends and distributors. I am my father.

A year and a half ago, I was just at university, where getting ready for class and having an essay was as important as ending famine. Now, I also have more important issues, like getting to work, paying the bills, duct taping my car together, finishing paperwork, doing special orders, calling distributors, selling the product, etc.

And those, even though they are important and usually on my top priority list, aren't that important for me. What's more is the freedom I've lost by working full-time. I'm trying to keep the friends that I have, not lose more. And, I'm trying to keep myself in good spirits about what I do, who I am and how I live my life. Because I'll be damned if I end up writing letters to a 13-year old because I'm lonely when I'm 27-years old, and I think that's the least you can do with your life.

Copyright © 2000 Besz Dispenser Publications, Inc.