The Besz Dispenser - This Week's Rant

For the week of March 27th, 1998

Why I'm Proud to be a Canadian (Reason 1024)

Have you heard this one? For a few days, we had the world maps changed. Apparently, a senator in Vermont wanted to get more funding to the University of Vermont's Sea Study branch. However, the only lake they could really work on is Lake Champlain. Undaunted, Senator Patrick Leahy made an amendment to some legislation going to Clinton, which basically added Lake Champlain to the list of The Big Five for purposes of obtaining the National Sea Grant.

Excuse me, but I have to laugh at this. Leahy said that it was nothing that would require a name or a map change. After all, Lake Ontario doesn't have a full name of Great Lake Ontario. But I guess that it was enough of a history rewrite to piss off any state senator bordering the other five Great Lakes. Of course, none of these complaints and arguments happened until after Clinton signed the legislation.

Right now, I don't know which was more insulting: a) the fact that there was a sixth Great Lake for a while; b) that no one did anything until after it was passed; c) that it was just a money grab; or d) that Canada said and did nothing. Did we even know about it? Well, I guess it doesn't really matter. I mean, the war of 1812 was so long ago, so we've just let bygones be bygones and let them deal with the lakes.

And this is just sad: two pre-pubescent boys in Jonesboro, Arkansas dressed in camouflage shot and killed four girls and one teacher, injuring 11 others. May I be the first to ask what the fuck is wrong with America? Do all kids nowadays solve their problems in the States (and I'm very sorry to say that it's a growing trend here in Canada) with violence?

Apparently one of the boys (one 11, one 13) had just broken up with a girl in that school, and said he was going to run away, but I guess he left out the part of killing everyone he knew before he left. Active therapy maybe, but I'd prefer padded rods than a bullet to the head.

I don't get it. Is it society's fault (i.e. the Jerry Springer shockwave) or is it the entertainment industry (i.e. the A-Team connection)? 'Course, does it really matter what is the cause of the violence? It's there, let's deal with it while we can and don't wear body armour.

How do we do that? You could say that guns are the cause of this tragedy, and you'd be partially right. But I'm a believer in the school of thought that gun-retailers-usually-don't-sell-guns-to-kids. I may be wrong about that in Arkansas. Yet most of the time, the theory holds true. Yes, I'd love to see a world without guns and violence. However, let's agree to the fact that we'd all kill each other with knives, lead pipes, and candlesticks in the library. There are also tall buildings and cars. And I never saw a revolver in Braveheart.

So, what do we do? Ignore everything? No, but let's carry this tidbit of knowledge to the children. Maybe we could give up with the new teens and start hoping the next batch will be more tame. Or hope that the entire human race gets exterminated in nuclear fire.

All this passed by, and it was all overshadowed by the Oscars. Which do you find more frightening?

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