In Loving Memory
Of My Husband

Pictures Come Back To Me Pictures come back to me Of you standing in the kitchen Sick, leaning against the counter, Of you in the bathroom, pale, And my question of were you ill? How brave you were, denying to me That you were dying, Falling away from the earth Trying to protect me as you always Did, afraid I couldn't cope With your loss, your death. Pictures in my mind, my memory Flooded with you so often, I wish I could erase the pain In my heart with emptiness. Pictures come back to me Of you happy, sad, lost in a fog Of yesterday, bound for eternity. You are gone forever, but you Will always be in my heart, In my thoughts, my husband You are beyond the realm Of time, lost to me forever. Yet I often find I can never Get these pictures out of my mind For they come back, suddenly... Pictures of you working on the barn Or grooming your horses tenderly, You loved them always, dearly, More than me, more than life. ~~~~~~ Speed of Light Moving in a blur Faster and faster, Don't look back Get caught unaware Soon, I'll be in a snare Of loss, heartache & tears. Dance, laugh, live In dizzy wildness, Don't look too close Or I'll drown down Into those sad memories. Move, stay busy, crazy, Never let yesterday Catch up and overtake You. Spin, tilt, twirl Like those glittering stars, Distant, cold, untouched By human sadness, suffering. Stars, Time, Life, Moving at the speed of light Destined to burn brightly Then die, done forever, silenced Like you were one February night. ~~~~~~ Last Week, Last Year Icy winter wind, late February Waning sunlight, spectral, bleak This was the last week Of your earthly life last year. Don't think I have forgotten, Oh no! I remember each single second As you lay dying Though none of us realized How darkness was close, Touching you, whispering to you Holding you in its dazed grasp. We had false hope, dreams Stupid denial, wishful thinking Unaware of the Grim Reaper Like a seductive Wraith Upon a high hill, a shadow Cast long upon the land Placing a strangling hand Upon your heart, hard And yet soft, sweet, sudden, Swiftly taking you in sleep. The wrenching pain of your loss, A year ago this winter, Haunts my life, lingers in dreams And often I awaken, afraid You never understood, never knew How we all loved you Needed you -- YES! -- even now. You are mute, silenced forever Too often fading away in morning light, Yet out of the fog of our past Love lives on, somewhere in timeless time. By: Cara Swann Written Year 2006-2007

BACK 1