Embrace
Dear muse that guided the authors of the old epics where are you now?
I need your spirit to show me the truths
I need you to walk with me through streets deserted by ordinary minds and
find that hidden alley soaked in darkness where everything becomes clear.
Show me what I need to say to myself, my father, my friend, my lover who
denied me the bliss I though I'd found in her
Be my honesty I will lay my secrets in your care to expose at will the
mystified hallucinations of mental clarity I fear to admit
Oh! Crazy Enlightenment that makes my parents pray in hope that God will
save their 'lost son' forgetting that God is all over and in me not leaving
me alone, I pray myself that you will give me rest and silence my ever
drifting search for whatever undefined
Satori, which I've recently have come to know through epiphanic dreams
intoxicated by the words of my wise, contently [contentedly??] tea-drinking friend, I want
to expose and preach your non-condemning freedom of religion to my
self-content, truth fearing surroundings without rasing [raising, razing??] you in praise to
yet another religious alternative
Oh! God Almighty let me sit in you church without the promise from the
pulpit that your rage will thrust some curse upon me just to show me when
its all too late in hell that being fearlessly pure-minded was also just
another sin
Let me speak your name not in vain when I talk to saintly followers who say
I've chosen Satan when really I have chosen love which is your bride
Forgive me Father for I know that I have sinned a billion times not even
feeling guilt living my double life afraid of what my father would have
said if he knew what I did yesterday and knowing that my mother would cry
if she knew
My Lord! Let me be whole and true as I was that day the rainy season
officially ended at the oriental island I know as my own, and as my mother
spread her legs in pain to squeeze me out through her vagina from the warm
haven of her womb
I want to live and be what I believe without my conscience telling me that
what I am is sin
I want to spend my time the way that Kerouac has taught me without the
feeling that wasting time is sin
I want to scream my tar-covered lungs out in ecstasy for having IT and
truly know that I do despite the doomsday-prophecies I learned to fear as a
kid not even knowing what sex was besides a sin
Black-haired beauty across the sea I wanted to see you when you told me we
were through despite that we agreed there is no chosen, destined one
how could you not accept my truly true love having just endured eternity
through fragile turns in supersonic boxes on the superhighway when your
only light was me as you once said yourself
I have forgiven you at last I should've eons ago and still I love you
promise me you won't be limited by anyone yourself included, I'm not needed
anymore you're all you'll ever be I hope you realize
forgive me when I bring you back and kiss your lips and taste your tongue
and nipples, stomach, ass and pussy as I remember your touch and love you
Where are we headed comrade journeyers to Bali-Thailand-China-Vietnam, New
Zealand-Fiji-Guam-Hawaii, Alaska-USA-Jamaica-Cuba-Mexico,
Brazil-Peru-Bolivia, Kenya-Tanzania-Eritrea-Egypt,
India-Cambodia-Nepal-Tibet,
Turkey-Italy-Spain-France-Holland-England-Germany; all in one six months
trip I saved the money working part-time?
What do we dream a job a house apartment car and live-in partner, children
in kindergarten when we're forty, I chose career got money in the bank for
college perhaps buying art for the wall we can talk about with
pseudo-intellectual authority while serving low-fat vegetables for similar
friends I hope will live on the same street what utopia come true while
waiting to grow wrinkled in old peoples homes?
What legacy will be ours we are the contented ones making music libraries
in our homes hoping our children's children one day will discover what we
know not questioning our pacifist stands of unquestioning obedience to
democratic values' outcome
I have no fear for the future it will live beyond the present our realm
which' foundation is the past with merging trails for us to choose from not
just the one less travelled
Oh! Guide us muse into the darkness of the alley where everything is clear
Oslo, 17th of November 1999