CHAPTER 12: QUASI ENCOUNTERS WITH A MISSING LINK

The Piscataway rounded a bend. "Up ahead-there he is-wait, there are two..." exclaimed Marchbank.

"It's Burke and Sunni-lets check that boy for bite marks!" laughed Jak.

"If anyone had marks, it would be her."

"True."

They picked them up. When all were in the car Sunni wanted to tell Jake and General Marchbank about their TJ sighting, but as she began Jak started tell them about their sighting. Both party's stopped short, surprised by each others encounter. TJ must have been covering a lot of ground. Burke was fairly sure that TJ didn't know the terrain around him. Only Jak seemed to have been their before, after all he knew about the road going around the lake yesterday.

"Hey we said that we would bring beer in our note" Jak said remembering their promise. "Maybe he can see us and he knows there's no beer."

"No, the note was untouched." Replied Burke.

"It was too touched, by someone" Countered Jak.

"How do you know that?"

"It was in a different spot with a different rock on it."

"Now how the hell could you know that it was a different rock?" asked Burke.

"I put Rose Quartz on it yesterday, and Granite was on it today" Jak replied.

No arguing with a natural science major, both God and mother nature were on his side. "Well then that's it!" said Burke. "We need to go and get bait, we're going to be fishers of man." Burke wanted to head back to town to find out if the Toosh! Girls had any info about TJ anyway.

Jak told them about the radio announcement and General Marchbank mentioned the contest. "Great idea!" exclaimed Burke. "I'll have Fauna call the station back with details. I've got to come up with a prize too-Sunni can you think of anything?"

"Not me this time! I'm sick of being a door prize! I want to be a winner once in a while too." They all knew that a night out with her was always a good way to attract takers in a game.

"OK, I'll come up with something GOOD then" he said. Sunni gave him a shove.

The plan was to drop Burke off where he would check on town operations and pick up beer-bait. Jak, General Marchbank, Sunni would go back and circle the forest and look for seekers that had made it back to the road. If everyone from the woods was accounted for, the would head back to town for dinner and to make new plans. Shortly before they hit town they noticed a low flying army helicopter. It looked like it was coming straight at them. It was flying slowly enough to observe the Picataway's front seat passengers. "I wonder what they are looking for." Said Jak. "There isn't a base for miles."

"Probably Limp-dick" said Jak."

"You're getting paranoid man."

They arrived at the house and there were a lot of people on the porch and front lawn. Burke saw some of the towns ambassadors "Bar-Fly, Shaky, Sneezy, and other 'dizzy dwarfs' from the tavern next -door laughing and joking. Over by the tree was TJ's infamous hair stylist: The illustrious Orange Sunshine who was busy cutting away at her next victim. There were even some of the players from Nack Redding's band members smoking cigarettes and hanging around probably waiting on news. Near the porch steps he spotted Detective Lemdeich and his partner. They were small-talking to a kid that looked like he was about twelve years old. The looked obvious in their crisp dark blue jeans that looked like they had been tailored. There was a guy with a chef's hat and apron that said "Do the cook!." He was grilling hot dogs on grate propped over a couple cinder blocks. There were people sitting on beer coolers everywhere. The music was blasting; as usual the place was a circus. The front porch was standing room only. Burke thought for a moment that TJ had returned, but as soon as they pulled up the crowd swarmed the Piscataway for news. They were shouting questions at Burke and company like news reporters.

Burke got out and started heading toward the house. A hand grabbed his shoulder. He turned to see who it was. "End of the line is that way buddy" said a tall and rather menacing guy. "No cuts!"

"Huh? I'm trying to get into the house" said Burke.

"Yeah sure, everybody's trying to get into the house" he replied. "Whoever lives here locked the door. End of the hot dog line is that way."

"Hey Burke catch!" a beer can came flying at him from across the lawn. If Burke had not snatched it out the air mid-flight, it would have surely split someone's head open. The beer had been hurled by a guy locally known as Captain Upchuck. Today he was dressed in full garb: pink fuzzy cowl and cape; it must have been a special occasion. "Burke-open your door, lotta people drinkin' beer out here and dancin' around. 'Can't hardly find a spot to pee on behind the house! My sneakers are soaked."

Burke slowly made his way onto the front porch. He reluctantly tried to pass Lemdeich without acknowledgment, but he has no such luck. "Hey Burke, I'm on to your ring," Lemdeich said smugly. We got TJ on charges of stealing the Cop car last night, and there was a vehicle taken today. We're trying to tie him into the little incident with the school bus last year too." Lemdeich seemed to be delighted with this proclamation. "They say around here that you are the leader-it's only a matter of time before I use him to get you! I heard what you said last night, and I won't tolerate it anymore-you hear me?" Lemdeich slowly mumbled "Goddam commie faggot" only loud enough for Burke to hear. Burke pressed on.

The Toosh girls were there and working prospective clients in the corner. He passed Ward, a guy who said he lived for a couple of months in a psycho-ward. "Hey Ban-man" Ward slurred loudly. We couldn't find him man. We looked and looked and looked all over town-me and Orbit. Hey, we even looked in the mailbox on the corner. Tell 'em Orbit, go on tell him."

Orbit was a guy that looked wasted, but not on alcohol. His eyes darted about, first to ceiling, then one corner of the room to the other. He was shaky, and his nervous laughter and yellow teeth made him look rather mouse like. "Uh-he-hee, the parakeet people..." Orbit said with a mousy giggle.

Burke focused on orbit. "What?"

"The parakeet people. They're everywhere, and they're coming. They are so Molecular!"

Burke walked away from that wasted jerk without giving him another thought. As he headed for the door a woman approached him. "You are his room mate, right?" She shouted over the noise. She looked clean and calm. Burke liked her face.

"Yes I am."

"I know how worried you probably are about him. I would be too. Do you want me to pray with you for his safe return?" She put her hand on his shoulder.

Burke looked into the girls face. He saw peacefulness, it was delightful amidst all the chaos around them. A gentle breeze blew a wisp of hair across her face. "Can you answer a question for me?" Burke asked her.

"If I can."

"Is the purpose of life purification?"

"No God purifies us, but that is not our purpose."

"How does he do that?"

"Through forgiveness, grace, blessing-whatever he chooses."

"Burke! Burke!" the Peaceful Girl's answer was shattered by a voice of desperation. Although their conversation was just getting interesting it was short lived. Fauna approached and squeezed between Burke and the Peaceful Girl. "Burke, can I have a word with you in private?" she asked.

"Sure" he said. He looked across at the Peaceful Girl. She had a hint of a smile on her face. "Maybe we can continue this latter." He said in a regretful tone.

"Maybe" she said, and walked away.

"What's up Fauna?" Burke asked.

"Nothing, I just thought that you needed saving" said Fauna.

"That's ironic" said Burke.

"Let's go inside it's too noisy in here" she said. "I've got great news." Burke reached into his pocket for his key and instantly three people stood up and began advancing toward Burke as if he was a storekeeper about to open his shop. "Whoa!" he said. "Changed my mind, I'm not going in folks" and they began to move back to their seats before someone else could get them. One seat already had been reallocated.

"Let's go around," he said to Fauna. She grabbed his arm and led him off the porch. As they headed for the door, Fauna looked over her shoulder at the Peaceful Girl. Fauna smiled smugly, but the Peaceful Girl didn't seem to catch the meaning of what was happening. She looked-at peace.

When they were on the side of the building the noise dropped and Fauna began to speak. "OK, are you ready? TJ IS BACK IN TOWN!" She said with excitement.

"Are you sure? Did you talk to him?" he asked. Burke was looking for some confirmation.

"No I didn't exactly talk to him, but lots of people saw him today."

"Who?" Burke said. He didn't believe it.

"Well I talked to many clerks at many liquor stores today. Three or four of them said that they saw someone matching TJ's description."

"Did you show them a photo?" asked Burke.

"The only photos that I have of him are of him in the nude!" exclaimed Fauna.

"You could put your thumb over his thing when you showed it!" said Burke. He couldn't believe that she was so obtuse.

"Oh yeah I could, couldn't I?"

"Go on, anything else?"

"Yes, it gets better. Some girls on the swim team reported that a very hairy guy came running through the pool during their practice wearing nothing but a ski mask. One girl said that she was sure that the guy's butt was the same one she saw on the news yesterday. We girls know our butts."

"Interesting."

"But wait-listen to this!" she said unable to mask her excitement. "A beer truck got heisted while it was making a delivery right down the block!" The whole freakin' truck was taken! Whom does that sound like? Who else could have done that? That's why everybody is here. When I heard that a beer truck got stolen, I called everyone. Any moment now TJ's going to come walking up the drive with a cart loaded with beer. I believe that. Everyone here does. We all have faith in TJ. He won't let us down."

"That sound like it has promise" Burke said. For the first time today he felt the worry for TJ lessen even just a bit.

"Burke honey, I've got to get back on the porch. There is a guy that wants to book a group massage for his fraternity. You know me work, work, work" she said as she turned to walk back. "This one's got some logistics to figure in!" she said as she walked off.

Burke went around the back and as Captain Upchuck had reported, there were guys scattered about, urinating like the dogs they were. Once inside the house was quiet and comforting. Burke dragged himself up the stairs and unlocked his door.

He lay down on his bed for a moment and tried to collect his thoughts.

"He awoke to a pounding on his door. Burke, BURKE! Are you in there?" A voice called from the other side. "There's a limo for you waiting outside." Burke was in a daze. "A what?" he asked.

"A limo. There's a limousine parked outside the house and driver says that he's waiting for you.

"Burke sat up and rubbed his eyes trying to acclimate to being awake. After a moment he stood and stretched, then he ran into Jak's room and gazed out the front window. Sure enough there was a big black stretch limo parked out in front with a driver standing ready by the side door. He was way beyond curious. He was uneasy, as he rushed to the bathroom to get himself together-he looked like hell. He quickly washed his face, shaved, and ran back to change his shirt. Something formal perhaps--long sleeve was the best he could do on such short notice. Tucking in one shirt tail he bounded down the stairs, he tried to mentally prepare for his encounter with the limo.

He approached the driver. "Are you Mr. Burke?" the driver asked.

"I am" replied Burke.

"May I see some identification please?"

Burke fumbled around in his pockets for a moment, but he knew all along that he had no identification on him. "What's this all about anyway?" he asked as he continued the bogus search through his pockets.

"I'm sorry but my orders are for Mr. Burke only" the driver said. The Driver assumed a facial not unlike an Easter Island Stone head. He was not about to budge. Burke told the man that he would be right back and went back to try and find his school ID or his driver's license. He hadn't used either of those in ages. After tearing apart his underwear drawer he was able to produce his driver's license. He looked so young and sure of himself in the photo. Burke bounded down once more and produced the evidence to the driver.

"I'm sorry Mr. Burke" the driver apologized. "You were the ninth person that had approached me claiming to be Mr. Burke. You can understand my apprehension I trust."

"OK, NOW what's this all about?" Burke asked.

"Mr. Burke, please get in."

Burke entered the limo. It was much larger on the inside that it had looked on the outside. He was pleasantly surprised to discover a television, stereo system, and a bar nestled in the between the couches. There at the far end to his surprise and delight sat Sunni. Sunni! She was wearing a stunning black evening gown. SUNNI! She looked like she had just stepped of a Paris Designer's runway. Sunni looked into Burke's face but did not say a word. Burke was a bit disoriented; not knowing what was happening. Then it dawned on him; she was asking him out in a way that he couldn't refuse. Passer's by keep coming up the to limo and pressing their faces against the glass trying to gain a glimpse of the riders through the black reflections of their own faces. Burke was not amused by the sight of all those flattened out noses.

The privacy panel slid down, and the driver inquired about their destination. "Just head north" Sunni said. "We haven't decided where we are going yet. Is that OK with you Bany? " she said looking at him for concurrence. Burke nodded his head with feigned self assurance. The privacy panel went up and the limo took off. Burke busied himself by playing with all the gadgets, not knowing what to say and do. First the side windows came down and the air conditioning went on. He saw Sunni sitting across to cab looking astonishing, but he was afraid to look too long and hard. He glanced nervously up from the gadgets to the Siren sitting across the cab. Strangely, he thought, she had taken on a Fauna type quality. She looked like a beautiful and wild animal alive in artificial habitat; about to lunge at any moment. Burke listened to the pounding of his heart. He was feeling powerful emotions, but he couldn't get a handle on what they were. Sitting there on that leather seat watching the parade of freaks rush past into the night Burke felt like his place in the universe right now was somewhere between James Bond and a bacterium on a petri-dish. This situation was more inclined to the experiment; he was in a controlled environment, and certainly being studied. Sunni slinked over to down on the couch next to him.

Burke groped for something clever to say. "I had the most wonderful dream last night" he said a bit shyly.

"Oh yeah? Tell me about it" she asked as she snuggled in a bit closer.

"I dreamt-I dreamt that I got picked up in a long limo by a beautiful lady in a long black dress."

He felt her shoulders jiggle in surpressed laughter. "Then what happened?" she asked.

He paused a moment for a bit of drama. "We drove through a tunnel and I lit up a cigar....sometimes a cigar is just a cigar you know..." Again he felt the reassuring jiggle. A smile crossed his face. "Just then the Cossacks invaded Wakefield! And they set up a roadblock they did. And they made me and the beautiful lady live in a Ginger Bread house until we fattened up so the witch could eat us!"

"That sounds dreadful" Sunni said with a concerned look upon her face. "I wonder if we could do something about that ending-something like this: and then they lived happily ever after..."

"That ending probably is better than mine. I would feel better if there wasn't that roadblock up ahead."

"Where?" Sunni said while turning quickly to face forward and realizing that they were in a sealed capsule. Burke had her.

"Just kidding!" he said mischievously.

"Oh, I hate when you do that! And you do that ALL THE TIME! Let's go to happily ever after, what do you think?" she asked.

"Where is it?" he asked not expecting an answer.

"You tell me" was her quick response.

"Happily ever after sounds to me like a split-level ranch with very little crabgrass in a good school district. We can't go there now, but we can go to the drive-in." he asked hoping to catch her a bit off balance and equalize the situation. Burke felt like he was slowly gaining control of this micro-universe. But he was wrong.

"The drive in? You want to go to the drive in a limousine? Bany, where's the romance in that?"

"Where is the romance?--Where is the romance you ask." But Burke was on it now and riding hard. "Romance is not about a place Sunni; it's a state of mind. It's the magic of a moment that only we can create. Romance is a colorful dimension that can be entered in from only through the heart." Burke was still a bit unsettled but he was gaining a toehold. "We take what is ordinary, and apply the enchantment."

"I guess you are right."

Burke wasn't dressed properly. But most of all he was NOT ready to graduate the status of Sunni from virtual to physical. There were love logistics that required very sensitive handling. He felt like his heart was being served on a desert tray.

She lowered the privacy panel. "Please take us to the drive in." she said. The driver seemed amused.

"Wait Sunni!" Burke broke in. We need wine-and cheese-and, and stuff!"

"Take us to the liquor store!" She said with a grin.

"Now you're sounding like Wakefield."

The driver guided the luxury vehicle toward the store, but did not get very far before the ride got quite bumpy. The limo slowed, then stopped. The driver turned around and explained that he needed to check something and promptly exited. Burke and Sunni saw the trunk pop open, and realized that there must be a problem. "I'll go find out what's going on," Burke volunteered and went out too.

Sure enough the limo had a flat. "Take a jiffy to fix this sir" the driver seemed to apologize. Burke offered to help. He would rather be doing something then waiting for anything to happen.

Burke extended his hand. "Banyon's the name, glad to meet you. Most people call me Burke though."

"Hello Burke" said the driver, shaking his hand. "I'm William."

William began loosening the lug nuts from locked down before raising the car while Burke watched on. Then Burke heard something....

There it was again; a soft kind of moaning.

And again.

He turned his attention back to the task at hand.

William was moving along now, quickly positioning the jack, inserting the handle and then pumping.

Burke heard the moaning again. Louder. It was a woman's moaning. Sexual. Awkward. "Oh-oh-oh..."

"Oh-oh-oh..." There was a pattern and rhythm to it. Burke looked at William trying to determine if the man heard it too, but the driver seemed quite engaged in his task. He was busy jacking away while the voice kept moaning. Burke tried to peer into the vehicle but the dark windows prevented any insight.

The car kept rising and the "Oh-oh-oh-yes..." kept getting louder and more intense in nature. William now looked at Burke. He heard it too. Burke had to ask. "There wasn't anybody else in the front with you was there?" he said in a somewhat fearful tone.

The driver blurted out a single laugh. "No! not hardly sir!" The moaning was now several degrees above fever and still getting louder. "O YES! YES! YES!" The limo shook somewhat dangerously, still propped up on the jack.

The two men were now going through the motions of changing the tire. The work had become a way to keep them from going crazy. William finished the tire and put away the tools in the trunk. From inside the female voice was nearly screaming "Ride me cowboy! Ride me-Ye-haa! USE THE WHIP!!!"

Burke looked at William. "I'm afraid to go in there, should I knock before entering?" Again the driver blurted out a single laugh. Burke could tell that the man was trying his best not to loose control and burst into hysterics. Burke grabbed the handle and pulled the door open. He entered expecting to see Sunni sweaty, naked, and completely disheveled. What he saw amazed him. Sunni was fully clothed, composed and quite absorbed in the local newspaper while a female voice continued to rage from somewhere from within the cabin.

Sunni looked up from the paper, and reached up to the stereo console mounted in the ceiling ejected a tape. "Found this," she said. "Thought it would be amusing." She studied the strange look on Burke's face and tried to apply meaning. "You mean...no! You didn't think that I... no wait! YOU DID THINK THAT! How embarrassing!" I completely tuned it out... Well the label was misleading-it said The Temptations!

"Well--" Burke said through a provoking smirk.

The driver turned his head around. "I forgot we had that tape!"

Sunni's face was quite red with embarrassment. "Oh no! not you too!"

"But we felt the limo shaking" Burke said.

"I got myself a Coke you pervert" Sunni replied. "I got thirsty." Her embarrassment continued while the driver started the car and began moving again. She touched his hand. "That wasn't me" she said softly, "but it could be." Burke tried to manage a smile, weak though it was. Inside he was experience another heart-rending event: saying a final goodbye to an exceptional friend for a second time in two consecutive days.

The limo turned a corner with precision while Lemdeich's beat-up Chevy Nova dogged along behind like an annoying bit of toilet tissue tenaciously clinging to the heel of a man exiting a lavatory.