Warren: Who glued these quarters down?

AJ: I did.

Warren: What the hell for, man?

AJ: I don't feel that I need to explain my art to you Warren.

Gina: Well, Sinead O'Rebellion! Shock me, shock me, shock me with that deviant behavior!

Debra: God, that is so clever. I swear you get smarter the shorter your skirt gets.

Gina: And you get smarter the shorter your hair gets! So it's probably a good thing you went with that!

AJ: What's with you? Yesterday you were normal and today you're like the old guy from Karate Kid. What's with you today?

Lucas: What's with today today?

Warren: Why don't you take these CD's and shove them up your ass?

Lucas: Because it would hurt a lot, Warren.

"Attention Rex Manning fans! To your left, you will notice a shoplifter being chased by night manager Lucas. This young man will be caught, deep-fried in hot oil, and server to our first hundred customers. Just another tasty treat from the gang at Empire Records!" --Gina

"I tried to kill myself with a Lady Bic. A pink, plastic razor with daisies on it and a moisturizing strip..."--Deb

Lucas: You know, someone like you needs to diminish their criminal impulses, not magnify them. Maybe some jazz or some classical...

Warren: Maybe you bite me.

Deb: Hey Lucas, is it true you committed the perfect crime?

Lucas: Not entirely perfect.

Debra: No visible tattoos.

Gina: No revealing clothing.

Debra: We're both screwed. Atleast you're used to it.