"...But
you say he's just a friend, oh babay"
How many of you
believe in the myth of the manfriend?
OK, let me rephrase.
How many of you have "platonic" relationships with straight
men, who suddenly either a) mack on you when drunk or b) propose lifepartnership
although the two of you have no chemistry? Then, how many of you lose
said manfriend when you refuse either of the two options??
I think I've made
my point. As you very well know, men are biologically programmed to
have sexual thoughts, like, every 3.6 seconds, about anything.....period.
I've heard tale of fantasies about every thing from airbrushed silicon-babes
to Sister Mary Catherine with her ruler-happy ways to livestock (yeowch).
And, as they say, one covets what one sees every day...
I will guarantee
you that every guy you've had as a friend has probably in some way shape
or form asked you out. The nice ones are so subtle that you will generally
miss the signals, and he'll keep giving them to you below-radar in hopes
that you'll subliminally come around. The not nice ones will generally
get the courage by getting their drink on and then insult you with the
full protection of their inebriated state ("I'm sorry, I was soooo
drunk that night.."). Then
after the day/night of reckoning, they stop returning your calls and
scuttle away when you enter the room. Grow 'nads, superfly, grow 'nads!!
As one witty friend
put it, "Men put in the QT for the boo-tee..."
At least in this
enlightened age, men get some idea when you pull out the friend speech.
Harry-met-Sally scenarios are rarified and idealized - you may be able
to prove me wrong, but take a good look around you and realise that
perhaps 1 in 10 has not had base thoughts about you simply because he's
gunning for someone else.
Gaymanfriends are
an entirely different ball of wax...so are "guyfriends with chemistry"
(see below), and fuckfriends (future installment). This salvo's strictly
for that category of guy that you feel close to but you'd burst into
giggles at the thought of him naked.
Today's gem:
That "guyfriend with chemistry"...(in which he may be the
one holding out) could either mean he's gay (because men will screw
women they don't even like) or he's fearing for his life (see cheaters
- or see a shrink).
Coming
Soon: I'm
just a gigol(ette)...
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