Toast . . . Mwuhaha.

Toast¹ (tost) vt. [[

1 to brown the surface of (bread, &tc.) by heating 2 to warm thoroughly-vi. To become toasted-n. sliced bread made brown and crisp by heat –toaster n.

That is what you’ve come to expect. When you’ve heard "toast," hear "toast," and will hear "toast," browned slices of bread is the image which comes to mind. That is wrong. True, "toast" does imply browned slices of bread, but "toast" is so very much more than that. Oh, Doctor, "toast" is not, it is most definitely not, simply sliced bread. Why this is so is because Toast™ is a game played among students at West Allis Central High School, though it is not unique to the previous, that is, to say the least, somewhat displeasing. Toast™, then, is the game of group masturbation onto a single slice of browned bread. When each person participating will have climaxed, the ultimate climaxer must consume the Toast in the presence of the other participants.

Now, an explicit enumeration of the rules of Toast™.

1. Assemble a group of men, and, in some cases, women, within the confines of a single room.
2. Place one slice of bread-type is insignificant; white, wheat, or rye, et. al., will suffice-in a standard house-hold toaster-oven.
3. Perform the operation which will result in the slice of bread becoming browned on both sides, i.e. turn on the particular toasting appliance’s timed toasting.
4. When the bread is toasted, remove it from the toaster-oven.
5. Place the toasted bread on a small- or medium-sized serving dish.
6. Transport the dish, with toasted slice of bread, to the central location of the pre-arranged Toast™ game-play locale, and place it either on the floor or on a short table (no more than 30, 24 cm. above the floor).
7. Toast™ participants will begin pleasuring themselves, though it must be added that persons not directly participating in the game may administer hand-jobs, blow-jobs, and/or cunnilingus, which will result in a climax for the (direct) participant.
8. When (direct) participant is climaxing, s/he should direct the released fluid(s) onto the browned slice of bread before him/her.
9. After all (direct) participants have ejaculated on the browned slice of bread, the "championship" trophy will be presented to the last (direct) participant to have ejaculated.
10. The last ejaculator will proceed to consume the brown slice of bread that has been schmered with the ejaculate of all the participants.
11. All participants will share a hearty laugh, knowing that they have successfully played Toast™.