Now here's a new term . . . "Runaway Thermostat." That was the diagnosis provided by Speed's Appliances when they came to check out our oven.

For the past couple of months I had been dealing with the fact that sometimes (not all of the time, just sometimes) when I turned on the oven, the temperature would rise above the desired level. I tried to figure out exactly what temperatures worked and what didn't, but it didn't have that kind of temperment. It just decided willy nilly that one day it would remain at a constant 350 and other times it would zoom up to 1200.

We rent, so the simple solution would have been to call the rental agency and tell them. Simple, yes, but there are problems with this. Last year, about this time, we had to get a new toilet. The next month, surprise, surprise, a rent increase. The year prior, it was a window. Again, an increase. I don't know about this time around, yet.

I also had this fear that it was somehow my fault. The problems didn't start until I ran the oven through it's self-cleaning process. I thought somehow I had done something wrong. Maybe it didn't finish its cycle. Maybe I turned this knob before that one. I didn't know. So of course, I cleaned it again and I didn't touch it for darn near 4 hours to be sure. Problem was, the timer seemed to be broken, too, so it wouldn't shut off. Maybe that was the problem.

I just decided to live with it and maybe the problem would fix itself. So, for the next two months I heated up the oven, put in the food, turned the oven off, came back to check the temperature, turning the oven back on and off, etc. etc. until the item was done cooking. Nice to have that kind of time on your hands, huh?

But of course, it had to happen. I was working one day and decided to start making dinner. I heated up the oven, put the foil wrapped chicken in and went back to work. And I worked for quite some time before I went out to the kitchen to get another cup of coffee.

Have you ever cremated a chicken? I don't suppose it's something I can put on my resume, but I was quite amazed. I was further amazed that there wasn't more smoke and that I didn't burn my face off when I opened the oven to be met by flames.

Baking soda really works. (Gee, I suppose that's why they say to use it.) Let me tell you the one good thing about this little event. There was not one bit of mess. The oven just burned it all away and left me with a charred piece of aluminum foil filled with ashes. The only mess was the baking soda.

So, I called the rental agent and the next day, Speed showed up. I waited anxiously as he tested the oven. I apologized and explained more than I needed to. I was just waiting for him to turn to me and scream, "My GOD Woman! What did you do to this oven?"

But he didn't. He just chuckled and said, "You've got a runaway thermostat. I don't suggest you use this oven. It could be . . . dangerous." (No kidding?! I had not told him about the fire. After all, there was no evidence.)