Death: the great equalizer.
Dirk’s father has cancer in his esophagus, his stomach, and it may have spread to his liver. He was admitted to the cancer ward yesterday; his doctor said if he wasn’t admitted immediately, he wouldn’t survive another month. Smoking two packs a day for the majority of his life has finally caught up with him. I don’t think his father wanted to go to the hospital, didn’t really want treatment. I think he just wanted to die. Dirk’s grandfather on his father’s side had something terminal and smoking-related, too. Due to the pain and a desire not to burden his family financially, he shot himself in the head. Dirk’s father was the one to find him with his brains sprayed all over the kitchen.
The coward’s way out. The noble sacrifice. I’m not sure if they shouldn’t just let him die, since it seems apparent to me that any life extension at this point would only be an exercise in futility and agony. He can’t eat anything but Jell-o. I don’t even count Jell-o as a food. It seems to be exactly the same as glue, except with sugar. Sugared glue.
It isn’t as though they can remove his esophagus, can they? What would they replace it with, a bit of intestine? They don’t work the same. Or his stomach – perhaps they could replace it with his bladder, or make a new one out of more intestines. We don’t need all those intestines, do we? He’s going to die and all we can do is prolong it. I don’t really think there’s going to be a miracle, people, even though I’m not telling Dirk that. He’s upset enough without me being morbid.
And the living remain to carry on as best they can. Dirk’s father isn’t eligible for his full pension unless he works another year. He was the main breadwinner – Dirk’s mother was a grocery bagger for many years, and currently works part time putting coupons in those little dispensers you see hanging off the shelves in grocery stores. They just bought a house a few years ago – first time they could afford it. Dirk wants to help them out, but I am vehemently against him getting a part time job. He works too many hours as it is, and is constantly exhausted. If it comes to them needing monetary assistance, I tell him, the best thing for the moment would be for him to move back home to help with expenses. It would, of course, necessitate me moving back in with my parents, but I’m far beyond the point where they can make my life hell. I’m the one calling the shots now that I’ve proven that I can live on my own.
Then I’m reminded of why I’m furious: Aaron. After Aaron came over to our house on the 18th, we haven’t really heard from him again. He didn’t show for practice the following Saturday, and when Nick called him he claimed he was sick. If he’d been sick, he would have called us beforehand. More likely, he was just being an asshole. Of course he’s gotten back together with the Sarge. Nobody expected anything different to happen. We all obey our natures; his nature involves being a moron.
In the intervening time, I should tell you that Aaron barred his mother from calling his apartment. From what I understand, she called Aaron’s apartment by mistake, and when she got the Sarge, she said that she was sorry and hung up. The Sarge called back, said, “Somebody from this number called here.” His mother apologized, informed her it had been a mistake, and hung up again. Then the Sarge called again and started cussing her out – she informed the Sarge that she wasn’t going to be talked to like that and hung up on her. Aaron called his mother sometime later and told her not to call his apartment again.
The big thing was their grandmother’s birthday on Saturday. A huge birthday party was planned and put together by Dirk’s mother. Invitations with response cards were sent out, and Aaron returned his indicating that two people would attend. Now, considering the fact that he isn’t exactly a social butterfly, it was incredibly obvious that he was planning on bringing the Sarge, despite her apparent inability to get along with any of his family. His mother understandably didn’t want the evil bitch at this party, so she informed Aaron that she wasn’t invited. Again, we all obey our natures. Aaron demanded to know why, as if the Sarge and the things he was willing to do for her hadn’t made everyone’s life a living hell. When told not to be obtuse, he said, “Well, if she isn’t welcome then I’m not welcome.” This after he found out that his father had cancer and would be hospitalized the day after the party. Of course he didn’t show, and I now seriously doubt he’ll ever see his father outside the hospital again. His father looked like a walking skeleton as it was.
I don’t care how important he thinks his relationship with that bitch is, the fact is that his father is very sick. This is not the time to be pulling this shit, trying to force his family to accept her when she’s given no indication that she even recognizes what a bitch she’s been. But Aaron cares only for Aaron, so he’s cutting his family off when they need him most. This leaves all the burden of helping their parents out squarely on Dirk’s shoulders. I try to help him as much as I can, but the fact of the matter is that I’m not their daughter. Sometimes I wish I could talk to Aaron alone so I could punch him. Dirk’s so stressed out, and it’s looking like we’ll have to make decisions we shouldn’t have to.
Beyond the fears of death and the contemplation of future financial states, we have the realization of the fact that Aaron just isn’t a good person. He isn’t somebody worth knowing, and he never was. He uses people for his own purposes, but can’t be bothered with his own responsibilities. He owes over a thousand dollars in child support…this given the fact that he pays only about $150 a month. And the fact that he isn’t a good person explains his relationship to the Sarge, who cannot even be classified as a person.
The day after the party, the day she had to bring her husband to the cancer ward to get him admitted, Dirk’s mother came home to find a message on her answering machine from the Sarge. She said, “Hello, this is (the Sarge). I don’t know what the hell your problem is, but you’re acting like a cunt.”
Some people don’t deserve to live.
