Question one:How do you feel today?
I feel like I’m in a trance. I might be tired. I might be hungry. I’m feeling so disassociated from my body that I cannot tell. I’m a little shocked, a little relieved, a little disoriented, and a little fatalistic. I feel like there’s some deeper meaning eluding me this morning, and I can only remember enough of the dream to make me want to remember more. I’m chasing that little dream fragment around my head.Question two:What did you dream about?
The only thing I can remember is getting into a pickup truck with Jade and her boyfriend. We were all laughing (which is nearly impossible because I loathe her boyfriend), and there was a fourth person there – unidentified. I ended up pushing Jade out of the truck, as a joke, and it turned out that the truck was on wheels that were two stories tall. Out in the forest/jungle, in the middle of the night.Aaron isn’t going to move out, and we aren’t moving out, either. Aaron didn’t bother showing up for practice on Saturday, which occasioned a phone call and a hasty reconciliation between Aaron & Dirk. We wouldn’t have bothered, but we were trying out a new drummer and our sound is pretty flat without Aaron. It just wasn’t grooving, you know? So, issues about respect for the property of others and internet usage were discussed, and they seem to be getting along okay.
As for the drummer we tried out, it looks like we’ll keep him. His name’s Chris, and he moved from Iowa to this area in April. He hasn’t played punk before, but he’s pretty sparky, incredibly willing, and talented enough for us. Chris likes our music.
So, I tried my first real, honest-to-god, raw bits of fish sushi yesterday. I went to the Japanese Steakhouse with Jade last night, and she ordered stuff from their sushi bar. We got the usual California Roll, but we also got some with raw tuna. I don’t know what they’re called, perhaps Tekkamaki? Jade is the Sushi fanatic, and she’s trying to convert me. I still find the idea of sushi a bit icky, but I’m putting forth the effort to acquire a taste for it.
You may ask yourself, “Why is Agent Skatter putting more effort into liking sushi than she ever did when various people wanted her to acquire a taste for beer? Beer is obviously something that’s more of a common denominator in this country than sushi.”
Well, there’s actually a few reasons. One is that I always read about people craving sushi. I honestly can’t imagine craving anything other than cigarettes and sex. I want to crave odd ethnic foods. Reason number two is the very fact that I find sushi to be kind of icky. I mean, Henry Rollins ate dog food wrapped in wonder bread and I’m going to draw the line at a little bit of raw seafood? Dear lord, if that isn’t a metaphor for something; I don’t know what is. The third is that I want to be cool. All these cool people eat sushi, and I don’t. I’m not really cool, so the barrier to my coolness must be that I haven’t come to adore sushi. I mean, how modern-day urban bohemian is that? I could be sitting around the sushi bar with my ultra-hip intellectual friends, using my chopsticks correctly, not choking on the wasabi, talking about politics and art. Damn, people would offer me money just to have me spit my raw fish on them.
Anyway, the raw tuna roll pretty pleasant, actually. I kept waiting for the grossness of eating raw fish to hit my nausea indicator, and was ready to run for the restroom. I really preferred it to the California roll because I kept forgetting that the pretty amber stuff on the California roll was fish eggs, and then I was unpleasantly surprised by the flavor. I think I was surprised on three different occasions. I also preferred the Tekkamaki because it looked more like my mental vision of sushi – rolled up all neatly in the seaweed. California rolls are a bit lacking in the aesthetics area because all that rice is on the outside. I think I’m getting the hang of eating this stuff, though – I only stared suspiciously at it for 2 minutes, tops, before I ate it.
Speaking of things that make me go Ick – have you ever heard of Trepanning? Not only no, but fuck, no. That just sounds dangerously stupid and pointless. “The higher state of mind he sought was that of childhood. Babies are born with skulls unsealed, and it is not until one is an adult that the bony carapace is formed which completely encloses the membranes surrounding the brain and inhibits their pulsations in response to heart-beats. In consequence, the adult loses touch with the dreams, imagination and intense perceptions of the child.” Okay the biological stuff (about your skull closing up) in that quote sounds okay, but the rest? Bullshit. Bullshit. Bullshit. Your head closing up does not cause those things. Your head is supposed to close up. We’re lacking in the cranial protection department anyway, and cutting little holes into your head is not helping things.
I am constantly astonished by the mental incapacity of people. They don’t remember what it felt like to be a child? I sure as fuck do. The dreams and imagination are still in place, as well as the perceptions. They forgot to mention the fuzzy thinking and general confusion. Drilling holes in your head is not the solution to the mental dullness brought about by life, hormones, and a slew of bad experiences.
Death might be, though.
