Joey Ramone died on Sunday of lymphoma. For those of you who aren't in touch with the punk scene, past or present, he was the lead singer of the Ramones. Everyone's broken up about it, so I've written a song about his death and life. I figure that he's so amazingly famous and well-respected that Elton John will bastardize his classic, "Candle in the Wind," yet again in memory of Joey. So, I decided to save him the trouble. The rhythm's a little forced, and I had issues with the layout, but I'm only brilliant at re-making songs when I can sing to myself loudly. Understandably, this wasn't an option at my desk today. Enjoy:
Goodbye, Jeff Hyman
Though I never cared very much
You were an inspiration
To the all goobs I hang out with
The Ramones were a punk band
That sounded like Mickey Mouse on crack
But the words were catchy
And even I had to danceAnd it seemed to me, you lived a life
That only sewer rats would envy
Oh, wait, and my already-mentioned friends
And I would have liked to have met you
But without you touching me
‘Cause personal grooming was something
That had obviously missed youPunk singing is tough
Especially when you're singing fast
But you botched it well enough
That my goober friend will probably mourn
Now that you have croaked
I no longer live in fear
That the Ramones will re-form
And I'll be dragged to your show.Goodbye, Jeff Hyman,
Throat cancer took you away
At least you didn't overdose
On heroin like some ‘tardHeart-wrenching, isn't it? Bet there isn't a dry eye in the house, or a punk willing to read this journal anymore. Heh.
Honestly, I liked the Ramones, but I never get broken up over someone I didn't know dying. Even if it was the lead singer to the Ramones. Hell, Steven Tyler (the man I am destined to marry) and Joe Perry could die a fiery death and I wouldn't be too upset. I kind of like it when famous people die, because that makes more room for me in the spotlight. When I'm famous, I mean.
BTW, in case you didn't figure it out, Jeffrey Hyman was Joey's original name. See, I was going for honest-to-goodness "Candle in the Wind Punk-Rock Style" here.
So, I'll put up real entries soon. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe not. Don't hold your breath.
