Happy April Fools Day! It’s a day that serves no purpose but to make other people feel immensely stupid.
I wasted a heck of a lot of your tax dollars yesterday. I did next to nothing at work, other than surf the internet, looking for some good low-fat recipes. I found some nice ones for soup...I’ll try them out and pass them on if they’re worthwhile.
I think I like D.C. best when it’s warm and raining...all the stink and fumes are rinsed away, temporarily. It also drives those irritating squirrels into the bushes, instead of running all over the place and begging for handouts. Today smells like a memory.
I remembered to pick up my dry cleaning last night (which is astonishing, given the fact that I was supposed to pick it up on Monday), and went over to Dirk’s. Jason was there, which didn’t bother me in the least, as he was engaged in a chess match with Dirk’s father. However, when I found out that Dirk had invited Jason to go out with us without consulting me first, I was a little irked. I ended up agreeing to hang out with Jason, and we all went over to Ruby’s.
Jason’s planning to go to college up in Boston (remember the guitar school?), and he wants to get these two girls kicked out of his house. His brother’s fiancee and her best friend, I think. They made a copy of the keys to his camaro and took it out joyriding. Left a huge fucking dent on the left side, in the front. They also recently spent a night in jail because they took the girlfriend’s father’s car (without permission) and wrapped it around a tree. Did I mention the fact that they were drunk at the time?
Amazingly enough, these girls live at his house rent-free, and Jason’s mother doesn’t care how much fucked-up stuff they do. I feel bad for Jason, honestly. We’re brainstorming things he can do to these girls.
He was also smoking cigarette after cigarette. Near the end of the evening, he pulled up his sleeve, and showed us his nicotine patch. “This goddamn thing isn’t working.”
We were horrified, to say the least. You can get nicotine poisoning from doing that. When we told him that, he immediately gave me his cigarettes, and his lighter. I am now the proud owner of a lighter with a lightning design on it.
I got home and, against my better judgement, went online. C– was online, and we talked for a while. We’re still walking very gingerly here. I couldn’t surf while I talked, because my computer kept freezing. I’m going to have to get my father to run a virus scan. We don’t have a licensed version of the virus scan program on our computer, only one that my father borrowed from work. That’s piss useless to us, because it can’t be updated to watch for new viruses.
You know, some of the people get really pissed off by all the cattiness on Diary-L. I don’t, because I’ve learned not to take anyone on there seriously. It’s basically a forum of wit, unless they find something of substance to talk about. Much like any mailing list. If you ever find yourself getting offended, here’s a little tip: don’t read the e-mails from the mailing list. Just start deleting them as they come in. They usually find someone else to pick on quickly enough.
I don’t know why I’m on Diary-L anyway. I don’t really have the time to sift through all those e-mails.
Mushroom and cheese sandwiches – they’re the wave of the future. I made good use of your tax dollars by telling Letisha about what, exactly, the cell walls of mushrooms are made out of. Chitin. Do you know what that is? The stuff bug exoskeletons are made of. Charming, isn’t it? Consider the implications the next time you’re taking a bite of that sausage-mushroom pizza.
My mother sent me a virtual Easter card yesterday that said, “Hope you get goodies from your minions! (You're lucky you got this from me!)”
It’s nice to know she thinks about me.