With enough makeup, we can all look like sultry sex goddesses.
I'm actually enjoying my mother today. I was discussing what I planned for Dirk to get me this Valentine's Day, and she told me about all the guys she was utterly horrible to when she was my age. One used to write her love letters, which she promptly threw in the trash. Upon discovering on of his letters in the garbage, the young man asked, horrified, "Why are you throwing my love letters away?" My mother countered with, "Why were you looking in the trash?"
Another one, when she was 19, was a rich man that gave her the creeps. She used to hide under the bed when he came over to avoid going out with him. I told her that she was going to go to a bad place when she dies, like Hoboken*. Then, she sent me a Valentine's day e-card. I responded by asking her if she was going to get me truffles, too. She replied promptly with, "Nope - get some other sucker (hint, hint) - you're going to get the usual - discounted Russell Stover or Whitman's the day after!!"
If she's being nice enough to call Dirk a sucker, she must be warming up to him.
Oh, no kidding Tinky Winky is gay, people. That's our nickname for Alex around the office (when he's out of earshot). Who cares, anyway? Like any baby's gonna notice. As if you can even tell what gender they are (unless you pay a lot of attention to the show).
Interesting note: we are apparently considered "the cat people" by the peons on our street. Our next door neighbor's next door neighbor lost a kitten last week, and she came by our house, asking if we'd seen it. My mother told her that we hadn't, and if we had, we would have brought it inside (it was very cold last week). The woman responded that she knew that, since we were (and here she paused) obviously cat lovers. She'd come to our place as a last resort, hoping we'd taken the kitten in. We'd never met this person before, keep in mind. Owning 7 cats doesn't make you a fanatic, does it?
We had unexpected company on our rounds last night. Dirk invited Jason along without prior notification. I almost had a fit. Don't get me wrong, I like Jason. He just....irritates me. And I don't know him very well. And we weren't really going out, we were running errands. I don't like having people I barely know tagging along on errand runs. They always fuck things up.
And part of our itinerary was going over to Harry and David's and showing Dirk exactly what truffles I wanted. I'm getting spoiled, I know. But with Jason tagging along, it wasn't as much fun as it could have been. I felt a little self-conscious. And Dirk didn't want to say that he'd definitely get me the truffles in front of Jason, I could tell. Yuck. Spare me the testosterone rituals of guys, please. I mean, yeah, they were expensive. But so was the goddamn guitar I got him for Christmas. Money shouldn't be an object, especially if you aren't abjectly poor. Especially when it stands in the way of my truffles.
Let's be honest here. I am trying, very hard, to like Jason. So hard that my teeth are grinding themselves into nubs. I don't mind the fact that he's a little slow on the uptake. Some of the nicest people I know have been utterly stupid (like Jessica in my Data Something-Or-Other class in High School. She slept with everybody, because she had no self-esteem, and she was terminally stupid. But I liked her, we were friends.). But this guy is...irritating. Really, really irritating. He thinks he's funny. He's not, but he tells jokes and then laughs at his own witticisms. And he's not particularly nice about girls (I'm under the impression that he doesn't get many dates). I mean, he's nice to me and everything, but when he tells stories about the few relationships he's had, it seems like he's been really insulting to the girl involved. And he spends a lot of time online in chat rooms. 6-8 hours a night!
Dirk says that I tend to find things wrong with people, like Larvae. He says he hasn't noticed Jason being particularly irritating.....imperceptive, that's what he is.
I might have made that word up.
Anyway, we went to Best Buy, then Tower, because Best Buy didn't have the CDs Dirk wanted. Then, we went to the ATM to take out the $500 for the guy, and then dropped Jason off. Jason had wanted to stop by the waffle house and get something to eat with us, but it was already ten o'clock and I still had to get a money order with the $500 and drop Dirk off and go home.
We went to get the money order. Dirk was driving me nuts, because he kept miscounting the money and coming up short. So we were sitting in the parking lot of Dirk's 7-11, while he was counting all that money over and over again. It made me nervous.
Then Dirk went in to get the money order. I was parked on the side of the 7-11. Fifteen minutes passed. I started to get worried, so I got out of the car and went inside. No sign of Dirk. I thought he may have been in the bathroom, and I watched until some guy I didn't know came out. I went back to the car, to see if he'd sneaked passed me – no dice. Finally, I gave up and asked the woman behind the counter if she'd seen him. She told me he was in the back room and started calling him. It turns out that his manager had left him a note (he'd been complaining about the fact that the day shift does nothing but sit on their asses), and he'd been in the back room all this time, writing a response. It was 10:48 by this time, and I had to be home at 11:00.
Dirk showed me a shortcut, and spent the rest of the ride home apologizing. I had been so worried. I thought something had happened to him between the car and entrance to the store, since it was around the corner and cut off from my view.
I was late getting home anyway, but my parents were asleep. I sat and watched T.V. for an hour and a half...just staring blankly at the screen while I made plans, really. I don't know why I even bother with television. I only ever watch Comedy Central and the Cartoon Network. If I'm going to watch crap, I want it to be obvious crap, not bullshit wah-wah uplifting garbage. Pseudo-intellectual garbage. Pop psychology.
Dirk got his health benefits forms yesterday. He's been working there for six months, just about. For just a few dollars out of every paycheck, he can get a $125,000 life insurance policy. He told me that if he does this, he'll make me the beneficiary. So I joked about pushing him off balconies. We also discovered that if Dirk and I get married, Dirk can join my bank (Navy Federal Credit Union). This is a plus, because his bank is run by assholes.
I finally got the conversation I e-mailed to myself at work yesterday. I don't know what's up with that. I guess it just got slowed up (it's a 16k file, if my e-mail program is to be believed).
you are real to me...the only thing that seems not real is your body..but your mind, and person...they seem very real..do i act as if thats not true? – that's the only excerpt you're getting, but I'm sure you grasp how uncomfortable that conversation was. You're smart people.
"I was a hand grenade, that never stopped exploding...."
(4:30 p.m.) I got the payment FedExed, luckily. Now all I have to do is wait and see if the guy's going to call tomorrow, demanding to know where it is.....the real world is far too irritating, at times.
Alex spent all goddamn morning either writing his apparent autobiography, entitled "Things I'm Really Fond of Very Much," or chatting on the Internet. I'm going to kill him. It's going to be fun. Alex makes me want to be sick. He does squat all day, and he gets promoted. Meanwhile, I bust ass, and get ignored. I'm getting a new job, just you wait.
Dirk doesn't want to get an apartment anymore, he wants to rent a house. Oh, that's going to be much more irritating. And he'd like to practice more (with what money? Is he going to take up prostitution?). I don't blame him, but it's just not feasible until we move in together, and can take a general accounting of our earnings versus our expenditures. And we need a new computer, first of all.
Oh, to those of you gleefully e-mailing me about the shit other people put up about me on their site(s) (obviously hoping I'm going to bitch about it in here), don't bother. I'm above petty online stuff these days, and I honestly don't care what bullshit other people put up about me. If some people lack the maturity to simply get on with their lives, there's nothing I can do about it.
I feel rejuvenated, in a way. Action-packed and ready to fight. Covered with cat fur, as well, but we won't discuss that.
*
When Katie and I were at the store the other night, I came up with the concept of going to Hoboken, instead of hell. I don't know why, it just popped out. For some reason, this struck us as funny, and we laughed all the way to the car. I just found out today that Hoboken is in New Jersey, land of the.....people who live below NYC and resent it. It's a nasty name, it sounds like the Hobbit caught rabies. Katie and I find really stupid things funny sometimes. Like the joke about thyme (I'll save that one for another day).