It was about sixty three degrees as we headed for the highway. The early morning fog was being pushed aside by the warmth of the rising sun. It looked like it was going to be a great day for riding. As soon as we were on Interstate 80 my opinion immediately changed.

There was a line of traffic as far the eye could see. We moved along at about ten miles an hour, frequently coming to complete stops. It was a pain in the ass riding a bike under these conditions. I was riding in first gear and often was fighting to keep my balance as speed slowed to a snail pace. When you were moving you didn't notice the weight but I was riding a big bike and with little forward movement the weight become very apparent.
We had joined part of the early morning "rush" hour of people heading to Chicago. The other drivers would give us looks of suspicion as we rode along side. It was just as obvious that we weren't heading into the office for the day as it was that most of them were. Our extra supplies were tied by bun-jee cords on the back of the bikes, making it clear that we were living on the road. Many of people didn't appreciate seeing us on their commute to work. This was probably more out of jealously then anything else but nevertheless the animosity toward us was undeniable. I couldn't wait till we got the hell away from this traffic nightmare. It was hard to believe that people faced these conditions every morning and still managed to stay sane. The exhaust fumes circled around us like a menacing intruder. With every breath I could taste the madness from a species that had run amuck on this planet. Stench of the fumes at these low speeds was beginning to make me light headed. To think that in another year everyday I would be in a "rush hour" similar to this was depressing the hell out of me. I looked over at one of the drivers in a late model BMW. His eyes were filled with contempt and disgust. I wasn't sure if this was from our presence or the deplorable conditions of the freeway.

Was this my future I was observing; traveling at three miles an hours to reach some high rise and anonymously perform labor for other people to profit from, ten hours a day for the next 40 years. It was scary even more so because it was probably true. The even sadder part is when most people reached retirement they were so transformed by years of work, that they were lost without it. Many people during retirement felt they were no longer useful. In my opinion it was the last forty-five years they spent working that was pointless.

I felt ashamed thinking these things. What right did I have to criticize what almost everyone felt was completely normal. Who knows maybe I was just lazy and wasn't willing to pay my dues. There was surely many people who felt fulfilled in their careers. For these people I was happy and only wished that somehow I could feel their sense of satisfaction from a career.

Unfortunately, the careers we seemed to envy and financially compensate the most produced the least. I mean what do actors, sport figures and other celebrities actually produce. Sure, they entertain but should that justify salaries that were often thousands of times greater then the average worker. Actors often made more for one movie then most of us will make in a lifetime. Not only were these insane salaries not ridiculed but the entertainers were worshiped like royalty. This whole idea of what was considered valuable in society was very strange to me.

Chances are the people who taught us to feel quilt for questioning the American work ethic, were themselves born into wealth. Most likely their days were spent on sunny tropical islands living paradise as their investments grew. The people who had money worked the least but always felt the most strongly on the importance of a lifetime of labor.

I really needed to get out of this traffic jam it was working on me like a festering wound. My time would come soon enough to live in the insanity world we all helped to create. For now I was young and wanted to taste the freedom of the open road.

The traffic jam persisted for the next 2 1/2 hours. We seldom reached speeds above twenty miles an hour. Once the cars began to dissipate it was close to 10 AM, (we gained an hour by entering the central Time Zone in Illinois) and we gone no more then 50 miles. We rode the next 150 miles without incident, averaging about 90 miles an hour. Bryan had kept to his word and let Amy's Jeep be the lead vehicle. She was keeping a good pace considering the higher difficulty in negotiating the Jeep through traffic. When Bryan singled us to exit I figured it was just for a gas and lunch.

Bryan told us in the gas station there was a problem with his bike and he thought his carburetors needed to be cleaned. He was embarrass when he checked his bike and discovered it was fuel injected. Fuel injected bikes didn't have carburetors. Even though Bryan felt he was a fool, in his defense this was a new bike for him. There are few motorcycles with fuel injection so its easy to assume there is a carburetor unless you've previously checked. Bryan was sure it was still a problem with the fuel mixture but was not knowledgeable in the repairs of fuel injecters, few people are. He said that it was probably best if we found a bike shop because he was afraid that soon it would become impossible for him to keep up with us. The BMW was cutting out and felt like it wasn't receiving fuel. As Bryan was calling a local shop he noticed the chain on the Trophy. It was severely loose. He decided to tighten the chain at the shop while we waited on the repairs to his bike.

It was only a little after noon but it looked like the riding for the day might be over. The shop had said it would be awhile before they could even look at the bike. We decided to have lunch at a Chinese restaurant before going back to the motorcycle shop. The meal was good and we each had a few drinks to drown our disappointment. The alcohol loosen us up and helped us forget that today's riding only amounted to 200 miles.

We arrived at the shop shortly after 2 P.M.. Once the BMW was taken by a mechanic Bryan commenced to tightening the chain on the Trophy. It looked like my ST 1100 was the only bike that wasn't going to require maintenance today. I watch Bryan work on the chin then decided to spend rest of the time waiting by calling Liz. Even if our relationship was over, which I still couldn't believe, it didn't mean we couldn't stay friends. This was my feeling at least until I made the fateful call.
"Hi Liz, we've made it to Iowa."
"What, who is this what are you talking about."
I couldn't believe she didn't immediately recognize my voice, she had to of been stoned.
"It's Tim who did you think." "Oh, Tim....Hi. Listen it's probably not a good idea to talk just yet. I mean we just broke up less then a week ago. We both need some time to ourselves, besides I have some company right now. I hope your little trip is going well. Tell you what, why don't you give me a call when you get back." I heard a guy laugh in the background as she was saying this to me.
"Yeah whatever, see 'yea." I hung-up and began to weep immediately. I was totally devastated. How could she treat me with such total disregards? Who was the guy in the background? Was she actually seeing other people already? As I looked around the scenery became hazy and I crouched down in the phone booth. I was in complete despair. The trip, my friends, my family, motorcycles, none of this meant anything to me right now. It felt as though I was in a sensory deprivation tank. Surrounding me was darkness void of all stimuli. I don't know how long I sat there crying before Bill walked over.

"Wow dude, what be the problem. You look like you've lost contact with whatever string of reality is left to us."
Nice thing about Bill even though he was partially right that I was losing my grip on reality, the way he phased it pulled me back in laughter.
"Well, there's no doubt now. Liz and me are through."
"I'm confused was there a doubt before."
"I guess there shouldn't have been but for some reason some of the most painful things in life I always seem to ignore rather then deal with."
"Well, you should learn to enjoy. In most cases what you think is too painful and must be ignored are actualy things that are placed here specifically to enjoy."
"You know you make no fucking sense whatsoever," I said.
"Maybe, but if you haven't noticed you're now standing. This is much better then the quivering mass of despair that you were."
"I'll give you this Bill, you put up a tough argument. What's the story on the bike."
"Mechanic said some water probably just got in the gas. Bryan's bruised ego is more of a problem right now then his motorcycle."
"I'll just be happy to move on to somewhere, anywhere... I just need to get the fuck out of here."
When me and Bill got back to the others Bryan was indeed arguing with the workers of the shop.
"We our stooped at the same gas stations, How could I have water in my tank when no one else does?
The guy behind the counter name was Gary, or so he was identified by his name badge.
"Listen, I don't know why you had water in your gas but you did. When you pump gas you're all doing it at a different time and reaching different levels in the reservoir tank. Maybe you had the unfortunate luck of hitting the bottom of the tank and sucked uped the water."
"O.K. maybe... Bryan said, but I ain't paying for anything till I have a chance to check out my bike."
"Fine, as long as your fiends agree to stay here you can ride it around the block to test it."
"Great, key please."
I'm not sure what Bryan discovered from his little ride but when he came back payment was surrendered immediately.

"So, what now Bryan," Tina said after he paid the bill.
"Well, we could try and get a few more miles down but I for one went to put this day behind me."
"Amen, to that," Amy said.
We all agreed to call it quits to a day that seemed cursed from the beginning Bryan and Bill began discussing the camping prospects.
"Look, we planned on staying in cheap Hotels on certain evenings. This seems like a good one. I for one could use a warm bed and a shower," Bill said.
The idea immediately was endorsed by all and we cruised off to find a inexpensive place to stay for the evening. We weren't to far from Davenport so we rode there to look for a room.

Iowa reminded me of how life must have been in the rest of the United States during the 1950's. I wasn't sure if I liked this or not. Quiet is defiantly nice but there is something to be said of being able to wake-up at 2 A.M. and get a cheeseburger. We finally found a Motel called the Candlelight Inn it was only about three miles from I-80. The cost was $19.99 a night, not bad regardless of where you are in the country. The lady behind the counter seemed to go in state of shock when we pulled the bikes into the parking lot. I didn't think it was the motorcycles that alarmed her. She seemed more amazed by the fact that five out-of- townsfolk actually had come to the Motel. She was plump and unattractived but still flirted with every male member of our party. She reminded me of one of the townie girls from "Easy Rider" who longed for a ride out of their lonely town existence. I wondered if she knew that I was longing to become apart of some lonely little town. I guess we all think the grass is always greener. Probably just crab grass and weeds everywhere.

The place was better then most each room had two Queen size beds a clean spacious bathroom and a mini-refrigerator. It reminded me of a Days Inn in Pennsylvania The only difference was a room there would have cost us well over fifty bucks. The Motel also had a another nice feature, adjoining room. Once we got settled we went to got some fast food and beer. We open the door that divided the rooms, when we did the place resembled a suite, or at least in size.
"You all right Tim," Bryan asked.
God was I so pathetic that it was noticeable to everyone. "I'm fine, why did you ask."
"Well, I don't know, you look like you want to slit your wrist with a dull razor."
"No really, I said, it can wait till I buy some new ones."
Even though it was obvious that we were joking Amy picked up on the fact there really was a problem.
"What gives little Bro? The last time you looked that sad, I had just ran over you pet Iguana with the lawn mower."
"I made the mistake of calling Liz today. Not only did she treat me like some annoying stranger, it was also clear that some guy was with her."
"Come on what made you think that," Amy said.
"I don't know I guess him laughing in the background."
"No shit.....Bummer."
"You're better off," Bill said. Love doesn't exist anyhow. The concept was original invented to protect females from other males. Once one guy took a girl as his mate, he would protect her from the rape and pillage scenes. When the danger of early death wasn't as prevalent for females, fathers then offered dairies to rid themselves of the female off brings. It's only in our commercialized mechanized society of today that the bizarre concept of love has become popular. Hell love doesn't exist, lust sure but love no such thing. You take a room of equal numbers of males and females and asked them to pick the one person they find least interesting. I mean the one they really dislike and want nothing to do with. Then have these unwanted mates stay in close quarters for a three year period. You know what would happen, sometime during this period the couples would feel what we call love toward each other. This doesn't mean that at the end of the three experiment they would necessarily be in love, but some time during the three years they would have felt it. Love is just repetition. Familiarity breeds not only contempt but also love and all our other ugly emotions.

"Gee, that ought to cheer him up, Amy said. Where the hell do you come up with this cesspool of knowledge. Love is real and if you don't believe that it just means you've never felt it. Sorry you're lonely but, Bill man, spare us."
We had been drinking beers liberally during the conversation. The only thing I got from this interchange of ideas was that: I was pissed, depressed and tired.
"What do you think?, Tim, Tina asked me..
"I think there is more to this world then you and me and cottage cheese. I also, think that it's between me and Liz. Besides, I'm tired and don't really want to stay up all night debating this crap."

That night as I slept an unwanted dream intruded into my mind. Dreams more often then not were unwanted for me. It was strange enough living in this world. Going through the daily pain of survival is plenty without the haunting visions of slumber land. Some people I've meant tell me of the dazzling and memorizing visions they've received from dreams . For me they're just another part of the horror I call my life. Nightly hallucinations that either have no meaning or are forever unexplainable, will never be a source of comfort for me.

This night a particular disturbing scene was played inside my head. The multi-color flying Jelly Fish appeared but this time it took on another form. Perhaps it was there the first time I saw it. In the dream it became clear, this wasn't just some type of mutant Jelly-Fish, it possessed a dark power. Not dark in an evil sense but rather dark like something that was suppose to never had been seen. In the dream the colors swirled in their usual circle motion around the beast. This time however I saw its true self not a Jelly-Fish but rather a type of egg. The colors also had a different significance. It was either something inside a larger being protecting the egg or something inside of us making the egg. None of it made much sense but then dreams seldom do. Whatever it was or wasn't like I said dreams are just strange. That night I awoke several times between the freighting visions. When I opened my eyes the last time I saw Bryan, Bill and Tina were already up. The moods of the other were more solemn this morning.

"Feeling any better this morning," Tina asked me.
"Yeah like a ray of sunshine," I said
"Well, I think Liz is a joke you seem like a really nice guy. You're better off without her."
"Yeah you're probably right. It doesn't help but you're probably right."
"Tina's got a point, Bryan said, you're look back at that phone conversation one day and realize it was the best thing that ever happen to you."
"Maybe, what's on agenda for today."
"The bikes are all in prime shape barring any unforeseen events we should be able to make some good distance," Bryan said.
"Hey, I didn't mean any harm last night, you know, Bill said with a strange sincerity that I'd never seen from him."
"No sweat man, besides you were probably right."
"Just the same I liked to buy you breakfast as a peace offering." We all headed out for a local restaurant I noticed as we were packing up our stuff that Bill was not just being unusually nice to me but also Amy. He carried Amy bag to the Jeep for her and Bryan carried Tina's. These pairings were becoming a bit too strange for my already confused mind.

When we pulled into the parking lot of the restaurant we got some long looks from some of the locals. Nothing was to unusual here but one guy seemed especially interested in our motorcycles. We made sure that we parked so we could see the bikes from where we sat. When we received our food I noticed the guy from the parking lot had moved closed to the bikes. I watched him crouch behind Bryan's BMW and begin to undo one of the ties. Bryan was paying attention so I motioned him to look out the window. He remained quite calm and continued to eat as he watched the stranger the lot. The guy was now beginning to open one of the bags.

"Hey Bill, you still got that Pepper Gas," Bryan said.
"Sure, but why?" He then looked out the window and saw the guy in the lot.
"Listen, Bryan here's the Gas but don't use it unless you absolutely need to."
Bryan took the Pepper Gas and headed out to the lot . I got up and followed him in case any help was needed.
"What's up dude," Bryan calmly said, to the guy who certainly appeared to be robbing him.
"Just admiring the bike. I noticed one of your Bun-gees was lose so I thought I'd help you out."
"Well, isn't that neighborly of you. Tell, you what why don't you take you're friendly hospitality and get the fuck out of my face why you still can."
"The guy jumped to his feet. You better control your mouth little man."
"You had your chance asshole, Bryan said as he pulled the Pepper Gas from coat pocket and sprayed the guy in his face. The guy scream as much in amazement as pain. His one hand immediately went to rub his eyes but with his other he reached in his pants pocket. Bryan didn't wait to find out what he was reaching for. Bryan kneaded the guy powerfully in the groin causing him to lose all interest in retrieving whatever was in his pocket. The others were now outside in the parking lot with me.
"O.K. Bryan that's enough lets get out of here before the cops come."
"Just what I was thinking, just let me get this piece of shit away from my bike so we can roll. He then kicked the guy in the face. Blood gushed out of his nose like some macabre waterfall had sprung to life. He rolled away from Bryan's bike with a look of sheer agony on his face.
"O.K., Bryan said, looks like I'm ready to roll."
I was already starting my bike. I glanced over at the poor fool as we were leaving the lot. It looked to me as if he was seriously injured and would require extensive medical attention. I began to think it would have been better to explain the incident to the cops but we were at least a mile down the road before I even considered that option.

By the time we were on I-80 we heard sirens blasting through the tiny town behind us. I can't say for sure if the sirens were even related to what had occured but it was a good bet. We were now travelling in speeds of 120 miles an hour. Bryan had forgotten his promise to let the Jeep lead the way. I loked behind me to see that Amy was having a hard time staying with us. I rolled beside Bryan, (it was surprising how easy it was for me to this apparently the bike I was riding was the quicker of the three because I could tell Bryan & Bill were riding at their limits) when Bryan could see me I motioned behind us. His head turned so quickly that his bike began to wobble, for a second it looked like he was going down. Bryan probably figured it was cop I was pointing out and was scared shitless. Bryan got the bike under control but still didn't seem to understand what I was trying to show him. I pulled my face shield up and screamed "we're losing the Jeep." He either didn't hear me or didn't care. I made a few more attempts to get my meaning across but to no prevail. Finally, I backed off the throtle and Bill and Bryan quickly shot passed. I slowed to 75mph but still there was no sign of the Jeep behind me and now no sign of Bryan & Bill in front of me. It took a good three minutes until the Jeep appeared in my rear view mirror.

I let Amy pull beside me and lifted my shield to talk to her. By this time we were only going about 55mph and communication was easy.
"Where the hell did the rest of them go, Amy asked.
"They're ahead, just going fast."
"No shit, someone needs to inform Bryan that 100mph is about top out point for the Jeep. He doesn't need to travel like a bat out of hell anyway, there wasn't any crime committed."
We were both finding it difficult to hold the conversation and concentrate on driving.
Amy screamed, "Why don't you pull over to the shoulder for a second so we can talk."
Being on the shoulder did put me more at ease to discuss the situation.
"Don't worry Amy said, they're slow up when they notice we're missing."
"So, what did you think about all that shit," I said.
"Protecting his property I didn't see any problem with it."
"No problem, the guy could be dead."
"He's not dead."
"How do you know?"
"I took basic medical training in the army. He probably has a broken noise, a fractured jaw and will require quite a few stiches, but his life isn't in danager."
"Even if that were true it was still insane and unecessary."
"That's not the way I saw it. The guy was reaching for something, possibly a gun but at the very least a knife. I thought Bryan did good."
"I don't care what you say it was excessive."
"I got to go along with Tim on this one, Tina said, it seemed a bit much to me too."
"Well, I'll never agree with that but the speeds they're riding at now is excesive. We better get back on the road if he's scared he won't wait for us. At least not for a 100 miles or so."
Amy had certainly predicted that correctly, we rode over a 100 miles before seeing them ahead on the shoulder. We had been riding at a pace of ninety mph for the last hundred miles. God only knows what speed Bryan and Bill were doing.
"Long time no see," Brain said laughing.
"Didn't you notice we weren't with you. Why didn't you stop earlier."
"I wanted to put a little distance between myself and our friend in Davenport. Besides I knew you were back there somewhere, when I felt there was no chance any local sheriff would be following, I stopped."
"How long you all been here," Tina asked Bryan.
"About half an hour. Did you all stop for lunch or what?"
"My Jeep doesn't do 120, besides I for one ain't crazy about doubling the speed limit, Amy answered.
"Under normal situations either am I. How about we get some gas then I'll buy you all lunch to make up for it? Fast food only of course."
"You are one cheap fuck," Amy responded jokingly.
"Take it or leave it."
"We're take it, I quickly said.
We enede up at a local Denny's for lunch. Not, fast food but cheap. The main difference was Denny's serves alcohol and the recent events made us pertake in a few.....too many. Once I'd had a few beer to loosen up my converrsatation I bgan to say thins I normally wouldn't.

"So, do you feel any remorse for the suffering you put that poor sap through," I asked Bryan.
"Fuck no, but I do feel like I should have kicked him again for the agravation, he put me through."
"Tim's got this idea that you were to rough on on young criminal friend, Amy said smiling.
"Yeah, and I for one agree," Tina said in a slurred voiced that made it obvious that large alcohol consumption during lunch was foreign to her.
"Shit man he should have killed the fuck," Bill now said.
"Well, I lost some respect for you," Tina declared.
Bryan face showed a terrific amount of pain from Tina's words. He looked both hurt and ashamed. One thing about Bryan he was his own worse critic. I could seethe guilt in his eye. The question of whether he felt regreat to me had been answered. Bryan became quiet after Tina had express her opinion. All his swagger and bravo was hushed by one casual comment. We rode out of Denny's filled and intoxicated. It was a happy enimaratation for the rest, but just made my depression deepen. I was starting to feel control of myself had drifted from me. Some other force no guiding me. To what purpose or destination I hadn't a clue.

We rode another 500 miles that day through accomidating weather conditions. Bryan once again allowed the Jeep to be in front and the pace was slowed to 80mph because of it. This was still fast enough for me. I was tired of 100 plus. That feels safe when you're riding it but if anything happens you need to react in a blink of an eye.

Blink of an eye.....Blink of an eye. My mind was no longer on the road. I was lost in a fanatsy world, I didn't create. My thoughts weren't on the trip, my life or Liz. Instead I thought of : What would it would be like to be a bird and soar across the sky or be a tadpool and oneday change into a frog? These thoughts floated in my head like feathers falling on a snowy shore. There wasn't much order or logic to the process...but somehow it was blissful and comforting. Was I thinking this, hearing it....seeing? Seeing, yes perhaps seeing, not the right word but there was no words for the experience.

I had let go of something and was now happy to have it behind me. A total sense of freedom was felt, but it was not a feeling at all. It just was! For the first time my essense was in the present. Not concered with the past or wondering of the future. I was alive and I was here, nothing else mattered. The landscape surrounding me sprang to live from a long, restless slumber. Sounds were crisp and clear. Colors vivid, bright and real. That was most strange, everything was real for the first time. What was it before?.... I haven't a clue? Everything had been out focused and now that it was in focus, I recognized the previous distortion. Like....like at Dan's funeral. Only the "Pit" wasn't near. It was further away then ever. No longer did I sense her cold presense mocking my ever move. Nothing was watching me now. I knew this because whatever had been watching was gone. An out of focus distortion changed to a viberant explosions of sights and sounds. A frog to a tadpool? A catapillar to a butterfly? A moth to a flame? Yes, moth to a flame, that was the best way to describe what was happening. An overwhelming drive controlled me. Any significance of anything else was meaningless. I had been reborn with a yearning that was more powerfull then thirst or hunger. It was not a part of me, it lurked in the shadowery world that was left behind. How to feed my new hunger? I didn't know? It didn't matter "it" knew, and whatever it was..... was on the way to the feast and I was just along for the ride. An empty vessel without any sails adrift on an ocean toward horizons unseen.
(Continued on Delta XIIII) 1