To whom it may concern,
I was shocked and appalled at your station's
expose on working conditions of local union 220, Roofers. It is evident
to me that the only "social disease" as your program puts it is those damn
roofers themselves, clamboring around up there with their shingles and
their shangles, telling dirty jokes. Meanwhile, my roof is still
leaking, and my feet are getting cold. They are a bad influence on
the children. They cuss and dance, and they do no work at all.
Something must be done about our local Roofer Chapter 220. I will
not see this town lose sight of dignity. That would be the saddest
fate of all.
Come home late to find you sleepin' with a bottle of booze
I'll tell you something, baby,
I ain't got nothin' but the blues.
?? I'm your hoochie coochie man
I'm a roofer
And so are all my friends
It's important not to slip and fall
My socks are made of the finest wool
I don't use nothin' that they taught me in elementary school.
My old man Tony was acting way to cool
Now all we got left of him are his legbones
And his fractured skull.
I wear the hard hat!
it's the hardest hat!
I wear the hard hat!
it's bright orange!
I wear the hard hat!
it's on my head!
I wear the hard hat!
I wear it on my head!
I wear the hard hat!
it's on my head!
I wear the hard hat!
it's on my head right NOW!
?? I'm your hoochie coochie man
I'm a roofer
And so are all my friends
Women don't understand
That I'm a roofin' man.
HARD HAT!
HARD HAT!
HARD HAT!
it's the hardest hat!
HARD HAT!
it's bright orange!
HARD HAT!
it's on my head!
HARD HAT!
I wear it on my head!
HARD HAT!
it's on my head!
HARD HAT!
it's on my head RIGHT NOW!!
Sir William Hershel: Oh, hello there!
T: Who the hell are you?
H: Hohoho, my shingle-toting companion. I'm 18th century English astronomer William Hershel, discoverer of Uranus!
T: ha!
H: I've come to take you on a magical science voyage to the center of the Milky Way galaxy, and beyond the limits of our understanding.
T: The.. the center of the Milky Way galaxy? What lies at the center of the Milky Way galaxy?
H: Blimey! I don't know. But during my lifetime, I thought it was the sun.
T: ha!
H: Scientists today, however, think that there is a supermassive black hole at the center of the galaxy, the icy cold grasp of which nothing can escape. Not even funk.
T: Not even funk?
H: Not even grand funk.
T: Do you.. do you think it's wise for us to..
H: No I don't! But let us abandon good taste to make way.. make way.. to the CENTER OF THE GALAXY!
[travel]
H: Be steadfast, Tony!
[more travel]
T: Are we getting anywhere near the center of the galaxy?
H: Not yet Tony! I'll tell you when!
T: Things are gettin' weird!
[still more travel]
H: ..it's very dangerous..
(center of the galaxy)
(center of the GALAXY)
(CENTER of the GALAXY)
T: What wonders lie within the center of the galaxy?
"would you like chicken, or..?"
H: And you see? Here we are.
[chimes]
H: Oh look! It's Soft Cell!
Soft Cell: Ahoy mateys! We've been waiting for you! Help yourselves to some shrimp from the barbie.
T: Wow. My favorite New Wave Britpop band, and my favorite 18th century English astronomer, all here together at the center of the galaxy.
SC: 'Nuff chit chat. ah- 2 3 4!
T: Yeah!
H: Well Tony, what are we waiting for?
Sometimes I feel I've got to
Get away I have to
Fly away from the
center of the galaxy
the love we share
hasn't got nowhere
and I cant compare
and I toss and turn i can't sleep at night
once i ran to you
now i run from you
the tainted love we share and i can't come back i cannot really..
oh, tainted love (oh-oh-oh)
tainted love (oh-oh-oh)
don't stop me please your love it brings me to my knees
at the center of the galaxy
a land that's filled with ?
it's everything i ? and i am grand funk
Hey!
What the fuck are you doing?!
It's the middle of the night and you're climing around up there
on my roof!
What the hell do you think you're doing?
What the hell do you think you're doing?
Get down from there!
I don't wanna hear it!
I don't wanna hear it!
I don't wanna HEAR it!
Just get down from there you.. you lazy roofer!
Now play that thing!
I wears my suit and trims my beard
I lives in Toilet Land
I'm loathed and hated, scorned and feared, I'm
Toilet Man, the Toilet Man!
I ties my shoes and picks my nose
I eats my Toilet ?
I never reaps that which I sows, I'm
Toilet Man, the Toilet Man!
On Being a Roofer's Dog
Tomorrow's paper litters the lawn
But ask not for my master
He is still gone.
Does he give a shit?
Does he give a shit?
Does he remember me?
Can anyone give a few words of advice on being a roofer's dog?
Groove It!
Knife in left hand.
Noxious fumes they fill our noses, so foreign is the smell of roses.
Now groove it.
Mothers and their daughters with tickets to Shania Twain
Sister lost her shingles, ain't got nothin' to keep out the rain
Beasts are in the barnyard, cows are in the zoo,
Baby, ooh, baby all I wanna do is..
Fork in right.
Eat all day.
Dance all night.
Groove it.
[verse]
Horns on forehead.
Sword in hand.
I'm the ruler of the damned.
Roof It!
And I wouldn't go back.
For the chimney air ?? my name and I must go
Like a viking called to the icy northern plain
Rich man or poor man, alive or dead
need a roof to keep the rain from off their heads
and I will be there
to keep their dreams from getting wet.
The Feast
Roofers
Kicking their asses again
All fluffy and fresh
When I came to the table every morning,
You made me waffles, baby.
Waffles with whipped cream.
Yeah, but every little square was like a cage.
If only I'd known your love sucked.
Waffles, baby, waffles every night.
Yes, every little square was like a cage to me.
Oh baby baby baby waffles baby.
Nice Rosetta
Oh, pour me a drink
Nice rosetta
Put a fresh coat of varnish on the fractured skull upon your bed
It's been two hundred years and your lover is still dead.
Build me a boat
Nice rosetta
With a wicked tattered sail
All your prayers and wishes have been to no avail.
Get a clue
Nice rosetta
With your stupid auburn hair
Skeletons dance beneath the floorboards and love is in the air.
I'll break your arms
Nice rosetta
And put them in a cast
You know only a dipshit shakes the dead hand of the past.
Ba-da-da, da-da-dum. Ba-da-da, da-da-dum.
Ba-da-da, da-da-dum. Ba-da-da, da-da-dum.
Ba-da-da, da-da-dum. Ba-da-da, da-da-dum.
Ba-da-da, da-da-dum. Ba-da-da, da-da-dum.
Ba-da-da, da-da-dum. Ba-da-da, da-da-dum.
Ba-da-da, da-da-dum. Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-da-da,
da-da-dah!
The Power of Love
Criminal Haze
Only if I had one more
Time to kick rhythm keep rippin' down the door
So the real criminals get exposed behind their closed
Doors and the suits that make and break the law
Looking for my own because I've had enough of yours.
Can't understand it, must be the crooked way they planned it.
Police supposed to keep the peace
But I can't trust 'em so I keep my piece loaded and cocked
Cuz I don't miss the block, yeah
Talking about the ones who don't get chained to the block
While we go away for the neighborhood crimes
Never liked what I saw in the law
Indiana trees hanging us instead of leaves
We're hanging from the rope
Cuz we're real criminals!
Yeah, we're real criminals!
Yeah, some people accuse some people of crimes
Some people get away with losing my rhyme
They don't like where I'm coming from
So they play dumb
Dum dum dum diggity dum diggity dum diggity dum dum dum diggity
dum diggity dum diggity dum
But I'm telling you what they do
Play a fool
While the real thieves cruise in a ?
Cuz he's got a finger on the war button
Talkin' loud, ain't saying nothing
TV got 'em bigger than life
??
Who's the criminal?
I said we're real criminals!
Real criminals!
Swing that thing.
The Croquet Match
Bicycle Built for You
? the pedals
lik bees on flowers
You engaged the kickstand
And we made love for hours
In the summer in the city
Back of your neck tough like the roots of the trees
It was you, you, you on your custom Schwinn
Take me down to hell and back again
You let me ride up on your handlebars
The day that you died I..
Sir, I Greet You
You ain't got no skills!
You ain't got no style!
What do we want? We want boom-shaka-laka!
What do we want? We want whooooaaah!
What do we want? We want [horn]!
What do we want? Ham and eggs!
What do we want? Ham and eggs!
What do we want? Ham and eggs!
What do we want? Ham and eggs!
What do we want? Ham and eggs!
etc.
Gimmie some of those ham and eggs!
Find the Lady