The Adventures of Supercow!!!!
This page is dedicated to the tomfoolery of Kevin Racey
Episode 1 - The Beginnings
It was his mother, Bill Oddie, who was visited by an angel. The angel, who was an intellectual baboon with excruciating burns as his hair was recently shaved off, said, "You, Bill Oddie, will carry the rath of mankind......the son of Cher".
Bill couldn't help telling everyone. It wasn't long until the entire townsfolk was whispering in disgust. Many stories had been heard about the Arc Angel Baboon, but these were dismissed by Bengali terrorists. Bill started to feel that it was odd(ie) because at about the 13 month mark, he still hadn't gave birth. He decided therefore to take a visit to the local doctors.
Bill arrived to see Dr. Leg. In the waiting room, Jim Rozental was having severe spasms as Lionel Richie was performing sexual deeds on him. To Bill's desire, Jim had no arms.
Bill started to give birth in the waiting room. To his luck, Russ Abbot was at hand to help. "Harder!!! Harder!!!" screamed Jim. Meanwhile, Bill's anal area was of course not designed for childbirth, and so his arse ripped. Out popped supercow!!!
Episode 2 - The Holocaust
The world was at awe with the freaky looking creature. The menacing gaunt of Danny Harper, along with the huge body of a cow, became a worry for national security. The top military countries, including Greenland, had harnessed the power of the atom - and felt necessary to use it. The extermination of supercow was planned.
Supercow awoke one day and decided to innocently go to the shops for a paper. He thought it was a little strange, as sirens were blazing and nobody was around. Anyway, he went back home thinking it was a religious holiday. Next, a blinding, scorching flash ripped the skin off supercow.....could he survive??
Episode 3 - Fame
After several years in a hospital, and then a few weeks in the social rehabilitation and gibbon wing, he made a thorough recovery. All of these incredible megastar. He was in the eyes of the media everyday. Supercow quickly developed a cocaine and Burt Reynolds addiction. He checked into the Priory clinic, when he met a beautiful horse, named Beryl. Beryl was heavily into Avant-Garde ape torture. This controversial yet amazing art fascinated Supercow. He quickly bought several apes to complete his work. One such piece was called 'The Severn Bridge', in which he got seven chimps, sewn them together by their testis and stretched them across a large quantity of the River Severn in Somerset. This upset several locals, who claimed the bridge was unstable and gave them a rash. It was reported that a number of locals died of gangrenous limbs that were severed by the clearly distressed chimps. Apart from such isolated incidents, the piece went down a storm.
In a much publised break-up, Supercow and Beryl went their seperate ways. Beryl claimed that Supercows arms hadn't grown through intense hormonal treatment to make Supercow into a Horsecow.
Episode 4 - Freak coincidence/Paula Abdul
Now that Beryl was dead (after a nasty accident with a sex aid), the threat of Supercow becoming a Horsecow had diminished. "Kevin Racey arse nipple" screamed an undistinguishable groan. Supercow turned, and to his amazement, there stood Paula Abdul. For those who are unaware of the wrath of Paula Abdul, she was a deadbeat, late 80's pop star (Janet Jackson calibre). She was wearing an all-in-one comedy-ostrich outfit. To the horror of the audience, she ran around Supercow in a Rod Hull fashion. This severely upset Supercow, who ran away to the set of Tina Turner's new talk-show, 'Ike Like To Beat You Up'. When Supercow arrived, he was shortly followed by Paula Abdul, hungry for blood and sex. She started to romp with Tina Turner......