THINGS PRESIDENT CLINTON WOULD DO IF ALIENS INVADED AMERICA

10. Lock himself in the bathroom and scream, "Lemmee know when them
    space monkeys is gone!"
 9. Introduce himself as "Earth Chief Bubba"
 8. Dust off the ol' saxophone; soothe aliens with Billy Joel's classic
    love song "Just the Way You Are"
 7. Call White House travel office for seat on next red-eye to Oxford
 6. Find out alien weaknesses by stealing their FBI files
 5. Watch what moderate Republicans do.  Do that.
 4. Book a room at the Marriott so he can get to know the female
    aliens on a "one-to-one" basis
 3. Inhale like a son of a bitch
 2. Thank them for distracting public from his totally screwed-up administration
 1. When aliens say, "Take me to your leader," Bill points to Hillary

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