Ah, with mere seconds until the Official Debut of Windows '95 (motto: "We've taken an operating system that already hates the user, and made it too slow and bulky to use on your system") I began to think of my experiences with earlier versions of this product.

Although I am far from computer illiterate, I note that most every attempt by me to get Windows to do something, such as leave icons WHERE I WANT THEM, or simple creation or deletion of directories, leaves me screaming with rage at the computer and either cutting out to DOS or taking the disk (if it's a 3.5 disk I was working on) to my Macintosh and fixing things there. My attempts to keep more than one program open at a single time always leave me promising not to use Windows ever, ever again.

While I very rarely attempt to install software, people I know who do always seem to end up with horror stories like, "We were putting F117A Stealth Fighter into the games directory, but Windows told us we were going to have to modify the CONFIG.SYS file by recognifuring the device mods and adding a pinch of paprika, inserting into oven and removing when touching a finger to it causes a mild blister, but then we ended up having to copy our backup WIN.INI files in because it began having failures with the system demanding 'Who Wants To Know?' every time we tried to find the new files and then when we got the color maps down correctly gremlins came out of the hard drive and took away little Timmy, which is OK because we were tired of having to go to McDonald's every week to get more 'Power Rangers' giveaway junk, but we're living in fear now because we want to put in the SimCity 2000 Urban Renewal Kit and we're afraid Windows may steal the cat."

My question, then, at long last, is: How the krunk did this thing ever sell to anyone who was not an actual member of Bill Gates' immediate family? Are we talking serious deal with the devil or what?