This page is intended for fun and games. Maybe it should have called Jokes and riddles since that's all there is at the moment. However, links to various games which you play online will be added to this page. If you have ideas for what would make this site more amusing, Email me
A blonde tired of being blonde dies her hair brown. Later she drives down a country lane and stops as a flock of sheep cross the road. She says to the shepherd, if I can guess the number of sheep in your flock could I have one? The shepherd says yes, the blonde guesses 132, the number is correct. She picks the cutest friendliest sheep and says thanks to the shepherd. The shepard asks, if I can guess your real hair color can I have my dog back?
A helicopter was flying around above Seattle yesterday when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic navigation and communications equipment. Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter's position and course to steer to the airport.
The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, drew a handwritten sign, and held it in the helicopter's window. The pilot's sign said, "WHERE AM I?" in large letters.
People in the building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large sign, and held it in a building window. Their sign said, "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER."
The pilot smiled, waved, looked at his map, determined the course to steer to SEATAC airport, and landed safely.
After they were on the ground, the co-pilot asked to pilot how those people helped determine their position.
The pilot responded, "I knew that had to be the MICROSOFT building because, like their help-lines, they gave me a technically correct but completely useless answer."
A Newfie wants to go to Portugal but is worried that he may not be able to speak the language. One of his friends tells him that all he has to do is speak very slowly.
The Newfie heads to portugal and checks out some of the shops then at the end of the day he goes to a bar and says to the bartender, "Pleeeease, maaaaaaay Iiiiiiiiii haaaaaaaave aaaaaa beeeeeeer" ("Please may I have a beer" prononced very slowly). The bartender hands him a beer and the Newfie is very happy.
The next day the Newfie goes around the town and stops and various shops and buys some things. Soon it gets dark and the Newfie heads over to the bar that he went to last night. He asks the bartender, "Pleeeease, maaaaaaay Iiiiiiiiii haaaaaaaave aaaaaa beeeeeeer" ("Please may I have a beer" prononced very slowly).
The Bartender hands him a beer. The Newfie is really feeling proud of himself so he says, "Pleeeease, maaaaaaay Iiiiiiiiii haaaaaaaave anooooother beeeeeeeeer".
The Bartender hands him a drink and says, "Wheeeeeeere dooooooo youuuuuuuu commmmmme frommmmmm?"
The Newfie replies,"Iiiiiiii commmmmme frommmmmmm Newwwwfounnnnnndlannnd."
The Bartender says, "meeeeee tooooo".
The Newfie then says, "Ifffffff youuuuuu commmmmme frommmmm Newwwwwfounnnnnndlannnnd annnnnnnnd Iiiiiiiii commmmmme frommmmmm Newwwwfounnnndlannnnnnd thennnnnn whyyyyyyyyy arrrrrrrrrre weeeeeee speeeeeeeaking Portugese?"
An indian tribe was worried about being attacked so they decided to have their camp on top of a hill. The outhouses where placed so that they went partly over the cliff.
Some braves got bored and wanted something exciting to do. The idea then struck them to push the chief's outhose over the cliff. (He had a very fancy one). So that night the braves snuck up to the outhouse and pushed the chief's outhouse over the cliff.
The next morning the cheif gathered the tribe and said, "last night, someone or some people pushed my outhouse over the cliff and I would like the guilty party to step forward". No one did since they knew that their punishment would be to get strung up by the thumbs for three weeks.
So the chief said, "Let me tell you a story."
"George Washington cut down his fathers cherry tree. His father was very upset and asked who cut down his tree. George Washington said that he did. George Washington's father said 'because you where honest I am not going to punish you.'"
"Now who pushed the outhouse over the cliff?" asked the chief.
The braves came forward and admitted their guilt.
"String them up by their thumbs for two weeks." said the Chief.
"But George Washington's father didn't punish him when he cut down his fathers tree and admited it" said the braves.
To this the Chief replied, "But George Washington's father wasn't in the tree."
What runs as smoothly as a rhyme,
Loves to fall but cannot climb;
What trembles with each breath of air,
Yet can the heaviest burdens bare?
I can make you go blind,
I allow you to see;
Without me human kind,
And life would cease to be.
What am I?:
This thing all things devours:
Birds, beasts, trees, flowers;
Gnaws iron, bites steel;
Grinds hard stones to meal;
Slays king, ruins town,
And beats high mountain down.
From The Hobbit by J.R.R Tolkein
It cannot be seen, cannot be felt,
Cannot be heard, cannot be smelt.
It lies behind stars and under hills
And empty holes it fills.
It comes first and follows after,
Ends life, kills laughter.
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