10. "Third time is lucky." "Third time
9. Nurse was this the ingrown toenail or the circumcision???
8. What the hell is that???
7. If the anesthesiologist doesn't get here soon
I'm going to have to start I'm without without him.
6. I'm sooo hung over from last night!!!
5. Uh oh!!!
4. Welcome to cooking with Ethel.
3. I have the biggest craving for kidney pie.
2. I hope I don't faint this time.
1. Nurse, Do I shock him now or after his heart stops?
10. You "Quarter Pounder" has a long, thin, tail.
9. The kid seving you has grill marks on his forehead.
8. Sign out front reads 'No shirt, No shoes, No reason why you can't work here.'
7. Their Mayor McCheese was caught in a hotel room smoking crack.
6. Blocking the drive-thru is the bloated body of Wendy's Founder Dave Thomas.
5. Manager takes a bite out of every burger to make sure its ok.
4. In his photo, employee of the month is holding a mug shot number.
3. You spill a vanilla shake and it burns a whole right through your jeans.
2. A guy dressed as Ronald McDonald keeps asking you to touch his food.
1. Their slogan is " Did someone say E Coli???"
10. Your dentist is arrested for using radioactive material as tooth filling.
9. The bank has notified you that your paycheck has bounced.
8. Your 12 year old daughter developes a sudden craving for pickles and ice cream.
7. You arrive at your wedding to find, 2 ushers, 4 bridesmaids, and 6 pallbearers .
6. You ask your doctor for a physical and he replies "Sorry I don't do autopsies."
5. The IRS invites you to a weenie roast and the invitation begins "Dear Weenie..."
4. During your commercial flight, the pilot unexpectadly mumbles something in Arabic and the stewardesses whip out machine guns.
3. While watching the news you notice your husband marching in the Gay Pride parade.
2. At the vacant house next door, you notice a Uhaul van and a truck that looks very similar to the one in Beverly Hillbillies.
1. You receive an invitation from the Oval Office to "Chew the fat."
10. Conversations begin with "Put the gun down first then we can talk.
9. The school principle has your number on speed dial.
8. The cat is on valium.
7. People have trouble understanding your kids because they learned to talk through clenched teeth.
6. You are trying to get your 4 year old to switch to decaffeinated.
5. The number of jobs the family has held down exceeds the number of people in the family.
4. No one has time to wait for microwave TV dinners.
3. Family meetings are often mediated by law enforcement officials.
2. You have to check your kids day-timer to see if he can take out the trash.
1. Maxwell House gives you industrial rates.