A Hindu Marriage

(an  explanation)

Marriage is probably the most important event in one’s life. In general, this would be the happiest social event for the family and friends too. As in any religion, Hindu marriages are also based on the religious rituals (in this case, Vedic) which  over the years have evolved with various regional colors.

Since now-a-days it is the officiating priest who chants all the mantras which are meant   to be chanted by the participants (mainly by the bridegroom), and the Sanskrit language not being understood by everyone, the significance of the vows and promises made during the ceremony are very often not understood by the bride, bridegroom or the participants.

The Hindu marriage starts with choosing the auspicious time of the year “ Muhoortham”. The Ceremony itself, consisting of   Vedic Chantings (manthra- Bhagam) and performance (Kriya-Bhagam) can be divided into various sections.    This article is an attempt  to explain the basic meaning of the Manthra Bhagam only. This aspect of the Hindu marriage has not changed very much over the years. The Kriya Bhagam has evolved into various forms depending on the regions. Thus no attempt has been made to explain that aspect.

Varasatkaram (Vara-bridegroom; Satkaram –reception.): The bridegroom is received and brought to Vedi   or mandapam  (stage) with the chanting of mantras.

Madhu –Parkam (Madhu –honey; Parkam – offering):  Invoking God’s blessings, a drink made of honey, ghee and clarified butter is offered to the bridegroom. This originates from the Vedic tradition where sages used this drink to receive their guests. The bridegroom drinks a small portion of this drink chanting the mantra meaning “The honey is the sweetest and the best. May I have food as sweet and health-giving as this honey and may I be able to relish it!” Traditionally, at this point, the father of the bride gave presents to the bridegroom  (Vara –Bridegroom;

( Dakshina –presents) which latter might have evolved into the dowry system.

Kanya –Danam (Kanya-girl or daughter; Danam –giving away.) Kanya danam begins with a request being made to the relatives and guests to approve the agreement reached between the parents of the bride and bridegroom and to bless the marriage. The request is granted by the reply “So be it”. This concludes the first part of the Kanya –Danam known as “Udakapoorvam”.

Then the father of the bride requests the bridegroom to “Be pleased to accept hand of my daughter of the (specific) Gotra which he agrees to by saying “AUM, I do accept”. Then the bridegroom makes the following announcement:  

Ye learned people assembled at this sacred ceremony know it for certain that we two hereby accept each other as companions for life and agree to live together most cordially as husband and wife. May the hearts of us both be blended and beat in unison. May we love each other like the very breath of ours lives. As the all-pervading God sustains the universe, same way may we sustain looking after together.  As a preceptor loves his disciple, so may we be faithful and love each other steadfastly.

Then the bridegroom gives to the bride’s father, the clothes to be worn by the bride during the marriage (Vastra-danam). In olden days, from this moment onwards, the girl was considered to be a member of the Groom’s family.

Laga Homam (Laga –Puffed rice; Homam – Offering): All auspicious events have to be conducted in an environment of purity and spirituality. Indeed, the most important part of this Homam is the offering of the puffed rice to Agni Devatha (the Sacred fire) who has kindly accepted the request to be present at this auspicious occasion. Thus it is during the Laga-Homam; that the most important sections of the marriage are conducted.

Pani –Grahanam (Pani- hand; Grahanam-Clasping) Here, the bridegroom, clasping the bride’s right hand with his right hand makes this promise: I clasp thy hand and enter into the holy state of matrimony so that we may be blessed with prosperity and noble progeny. May thou live with me happily throughout life! Through the grace of the all-mighty Lord, who is the Creator and Sustainer of the universe and in the presence of this august assemblage, thou art being given away in marriage so that we may together rightly perform our duties as householders.

 Shila - Arohanam (Shila –stone; Arohanam-ascending): After, Pani-grahanam; the bridegroom assists the bride to step on a stone. The symbolism is very clear. During the married life a couple will have to encounter many situations, some joyous, some sorrowful. All these situations will have to be faced together without falling apart, same as a stone can withstand any of the stormy weathers.

Pradakshinam (Circling the Sacred fire):  During Pradakshinam, the bridegroom and the bride would circle the sacred fire (in the clockwise direction)  prepared for Laga-homam, chanting the following manthras (Prathijnas- Vows). At the end of each round a hand full of puffed rice is offered to Agni (the Sacred fire). The vows are: O virtuous one! I have accepted thee thoughtfully and so hast   thou accepted me. Out of the fullness of love have I accepted thee and so hast thou accepted me. I am the Sama and thou art the Rik. I am the Dyau (heaven) and thou art the earth. We marry each other joyously. May we be blessed with bright, heroic and long-lived children! Let us be devoted to each other. Let us share each other’s joys   and sorrows, wish each other well and look upon each other with love and live for at least a hundred years. May we live happily and   listening to sweet words for   at least a hundred years. 

In making these offerings for prosperity we once again pray that God may bless this union of our hearts!

Saptapadi (sapta-seven; padi -steps): The final act of the marriage ceremony is Saptapadi . Placing his right hand on the right shoulder of the bride, the bride and bridegroom take seven steps together, chanting mantras meaning

May the first step lead to food that is both nourishing and pure.

May the second step lead to strength (at the physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual levels).

May the third step lead to prosperity.

May the fourth step lead to all round happiness.             

May the fifth step lead to progeny (noble and virtuous children).

May the sixth step lead to long life.

May the seventh step lead to friendship (through harmony, and understanding).

This concludes the major items of the traditional marriage. Most of the items mentioned in this article are still observed in one form or the other with local coloring added to the Kriya bhagam. .      

Depending on region and Gotra; ( which would identify caste and the family name)  Vratha- Acharanam; (On the previous day ; as a preparation for the marriage; performance of auspicious acts at the same Muhoortham by the Bride and bridegroom at each one’s home)  various Homams such as Ganapathi Homam, Navagraha Homam, ( on the same day of marriage ; but just  before the marriage ceremony); Kasi Yathra (here the assumption is that the bridegroom who was on his way to Kasi or  Banares to be a Sanyasi  is brought back by the bride’s father explaining the pleasures  of married life and promising to give his daughter to fulfill the Grahasta Asramam- Married life ); Mangala Sutra dharanam (Wearing of mangala sutra by the bride); Hara-Arpanam; (Exchange of garlands) Aashirvadam(Blessings); Annaprashanam (Bride and bridegroom eating together); Grihapravesham ( Entering the Bridegroom’s home) etc. are also considered as part of the ceremony.

Some other variations worth mentioning are JaiMala (exchanging of garlands by bride and bridegroom soon after the reception); Vastra-Danam by the groom himself to the bride; Hara-Arpanam (exchange of garlands during the lagahomam or  in   front of lighted lamp -this could be in a temple or where ever the stage   happens to be) and  circling the lighted lamp representing  Agni Devatha  and the exchange of wedding bands. (a new trend ) In some cases; may be due to the time constrains of this jet age; even  Lajahomam and   Shila-Aarohanam   have been customized to the situation.

 To conclude , The Hindu marriage act of 1955 states that

 1.  A Hindu marriage may be solemnized in accordance with the customary rites and   ceremonies  of   either party thereto.

 2.  Where such rites and ceremonies include the saptapadi (that is, the taking of   seven steps by            the bridegroom and the bride jointly before the sacred fire), the      marriage  becomes complete and binding when the seventh step is taken.

 Thus in most cases Lajahomam, or Saptapadi is included in one form or other as required to

 legalize the marriage according to Hindu tradition.