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| Life FAQ: Supplementary (my version) |
Why a FAQ on Life? Well, it's really more of an "Appendix" than anything else.
A true FAQ on Life would present too many difficult questions (i.e. "What is the meaning of life?", "Is there an afterlife?", "Why does Goofy (a dog) own Pluto (who is also a dog)?!!!? And, moreover, why can Goofy talk, and Pluto can't?", etc.).
This FAQ is a supplementary compilation of nifty, very useful, hands-on tips on life in general. I've tried to keep the list pithy - compact so you don't go on reading reams and reams of irrelevant garbage. I'm a Web surfer, so I've been there. Consequently, you won't see the obvious things: "stay in school", "don't spit into the wind", "don't stick your tongue on a frozen flagpole", "don't pee on an electrified fence (the ions will conduct a charge very well)."
Obviously, this is a growing list, please be patient as these tips require years of life experiences to compile. If you already know some, and they seem obvious, just ignore them and keep reading.
P.S. Please use these with benevolent intentions.
STUPID TRICKS THAT WILL IMPRESS YOUR FRIENDS
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Carbonated Soda
I heard this from a guy at work. And it actually worked on me.
Shake a bottle really hard. Then tap the top a few times and open it right in front of someone. (The tapping should reintroduce the CO2 back into the soda as carbonic acid, which of course reduces pressure).
The author of this FAQ assumes absolutely no responsibility or liability in the consequences of the actions taken by those reading the statement above.
HYGIENE
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Toothpaste
As the tube is almost finished, don't just squeeze form the bottom up. Use the bathroom counter to help pulverize the tube flat. (i.e. grab the tube at the very end and also at the top and drag it tightly along the countertop from bottom to top repeatedly) Keep doing this until the tube is thinner than a piece of paper.
ESPIONAGE
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Overhearing conversation
(Warning: Never actually tried before) To hear juicy office gossip or ultra-secret classified information (just kidding ;) ), stay in the bathroom stall furthest from the door and stand on the seat (or, optionally, sit with your legs up).
It is imperative that the door to the stall is kept OPEN.
Oh, if you're sitting, you may want to keep the lid shut. ;)
It is conventional wisdom that only a complete and utter idiot would just stand in a stall with the door open.
But in this idiocy lies pure, mind boggling genius. Whoever does the check for other undesired ears will just do a cursory glance under the stalls. He'll just check to see if he sees any feet and will mistakenly assume that with no stall doors closed that no one else is in the bathroom. Once the "coast is clear", secret talks will commence.
TECHNOLOGY
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Computer Mice
To revitalize the responsiveness of your rodent (this used to be mouse, but then there wouldn't be alliteration ;)), remove the mouse ball inside and just wash under warm water rubbing gently to remove a very thin, yet hardened layer of dirt. After removing the slick layer, your mouse ball will now be back to its rubbery self.
P.S. Allow time to dry before returning to mouse.
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(mostly Unix) vi editor
Use "." to repeat the last command (works well when inserting the same thing over and over again).
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(mostly Unix) vi editor
Use "d$" to delete everything from the current position to the end of the line.
TRANSPORTATION
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