what the fuck
Im gone
his head is leaving and dementing his soul
his spirit would like to interfere
but he got drunk last night
and is too satisfied to give a fuck
he usually got his way
until his hate for others
whom he thought were trying to destroy him
ended up destroying him
like an ensuing fire that began at birth
it was tended by siblings
until hot raging coals became his eyes
and his face grew cold and dark
he was finally happy
he hated himself as much as everyone else
the drugs enjoyed his body, mind, soul even
they ran around in his head
creating utter chaos, which he laughed at
the happiest man has no need for laughter
it is only those on the very bottom
who drain this action of it's stereotypical effect
once everything became inverted
he was king
he had power
control
he learned to focus
to learn
to manipulate
to destroy
but this did not suffice
never enough, he always wanted more
forever convincing himself of his emptiness
and reveling in his cocoon
shut off from reality
and filled with contempt
it was time to tear it all down
tear it all down
tear it all down
mansion after mansion of mutated beauty
hateful, spiteful, nihilistic architecture
continually built on a rotting foundation
that rusted and wore exponentially day by day
he was an animal
a fiend
an antichrist
the only people in his world
were gutter freaks hoping to keep their dark secrets
which they secretly wanted to share more than anything else
to connect on a masochistic level
to endure someone else's pain to escape their own
and to get his filthy cock in their mouths
he was selling himself to evil
and loved every second of it
every person allowed entry to his bubble
was manipulated, toyed with, pushed to extremes, and abandoned
abused and confused
wondering what spell he had cast
but the skies were suddenly cleared, and they saw his evil
and an army formed, to rid their land of this creature
this gothic boy who was too fucked up to understand his existence
he never understood others, only knew how to use them
so he began to use them against himself
no spell lasted, and each ended with a worse outcome
until what was left inside didn't even breathe anymore
it lived off the pain of others
he learned how to put his hurt in to others
and use that as a leash
which would later strangle them to death
this child was too far lost
and now everyone would pay for what had happened to him
but, my friends, the day finally came
when our ill-fated, heartless boy grew up
and saved himself from his machine of self-destruction
he was making love to death itself
but decided not even dying was worthy of his royalty
so, he rebelled
and became more fake than any mammal he had ever hated
he wore smiles, and showed himself off
played the games, and stepped down when appropriate
studied the normals, and sucked their dicks
he had to be accepted, of course
he always knew how to find the easiest, shortest path
and never thought twice about taking it
once his mind had repaired itself
he tore down his wall of emotions
to see what mess was left behind
he wanted to be happy
he longed so badly to be pure
but his nature denied him this
he put his heart on the line
and fell off the mountain he had worked so hard to climb
his body was delivered into the hands of a beauty
and he was marionetted for nearly a year
deep inside, however, his demons slept, and built up their strength
slowly, they gripped his mind again
and ultimately led him to an all out orgasm of pure evil
he lied, cheated, stole, and manipulated
every demon he had tamed, ran free again
the chaos had started all over again
he was at the beginning once again
this time, he knew what would happen
and let the raped child inside
sit in the throne
and wage a war of pure kamikazee tendencies
fire poured from his mouth
disgusting, wretching words fell like dead Jews in a concentration camp
spikes shot from his eyes
piercing his loved ones
distorting his views of childhood friends
no one would survive
not even our ever-so-loved monster
barriers dissipated, and privacy destroyed
everyone left him
to decay and die
which is what he wanted so bad, believe me
but even once he was alone in his room
stripped of everything, and addicted to it all
tears on his face, and the lights turned off
he refused to give in
he would not let himself die
which is why this story is being told
there is a hate that grows inside
there is also a love
no matter how human, how flawed, how many mistakes he made
he had to live
there was no fucking way he could continue where he was
so he left, and hasn't looked back until now
he has found his salvation
and can start again, with the worlds of knowledge he has gained
new faces and souls everywhere
so many opportunities
so many potentials
but there are also too many reminders
a permanent knife in his back
placed there himself
he will never let himself die
but I doubt he will ever be free
of this godforsaken pain
that has been so bashed into his essence
I pray for our friend, as hopefully you will
for no life is worth living in such shit
there is always hope
and each day he gets closer to it
closer to himself
he just may leave this world well-balanced
but
he will
bring the world down with him
so help me god
